I have an addiction to unpowered flight puns, but I don't like to talk about it.

It's a soar subject.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.

It was an....unmanned aircraft.

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
Every single person on my flight was reading at the same time.

The plane was fully booked.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"

I said, "Window or you'll do what?

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
Guy tries to board a plane with a dead racoon. The flight attendant says, "sir, you're going to have to check that"

"Don't worry," he replies, "It's carrion."

πŸ‘︎ 692
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jsradford
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
🚨︎ report
Why are the Hershey kisses not allowed in SpaceX flights?

Because Mars has monopoly

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shreddit_man
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
I lost my luggage on a flight to Helsinki once,

It vanished into Finnair.

Stolen from Keep Laughing Forever

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bmantis311
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
To avoid Covid on my flight, they converted the whole plane to Catholicism and started praying.

Unfortunately now we’ve got a load of confirmed cases...

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Skyfox2k
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
A man was seen doing something curious on a flight to Europe

Before boarding the plane, he threw some salt off the flight bridge

After they landed, he tossed some paprika

On the next leg, some nutmeg and a pinch of cumin.

The flight crew saw the combination, there was only one conclusion they could make...

He was a seasoned traveler

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
Which one of the flight attendants is a crossdresser?

Stewart is.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ppardee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09
🚨︎ report
Took a flight, and my luggage got torn to pieces....

My lawyer said I don’t have much of a case.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/radiofirey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
How to fall down a flight of stairs

Step 1:

Step 2:

Step 4:

Step 9 :

Step 17:

Step 36:

Floor

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tubergod1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The Captain of our flight called the cops when he saw a film crew

He heard they were there to shoot a pilot

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Flight of stairs.
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dvestisorok240
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the baseball player say when the flight attendant asked what seat he was in?

Put me in coach.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KinkyWaluigi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A vulture was boarding a plane and he brought with him a dead racoon. The flight attendant, mortified by the sight and stench, pointed at the carcass and asked "Sir why did you bring a dead racoon with you."

The vulture said. "Oh this? This is my carrion luggage."

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fearless-Gas
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, β€œIf the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?”

I said, β€œNo, we will still be friends.”

πŸ‘︎ 203
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I once sat next to a baby on a 10 hour flight. I had no idea that it was possible for someone to cry for 10 hours straight.

Even the baby was impressed.

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad Flights Inc. is losing business

Some would say it’s a receding airline...

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RosselWestbrook
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a joke about flight MH370

But I’m afraid it won’t land

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gotblake
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend fell down a flight of steps then started looking at me without breaking eye contact...

I'm not sure why he was stairing.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
A flight to Kansas.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
🚨︎ report
It wasn't too long after the Wright brothers took flight..

that pigs flew

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a spider on my flight today

It was an airachnid

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thr33tard3d
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.

They were Wright.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The first rule of flight club...

is to take flying lessons. Also know how to read carefully.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Last time I was on a flight, the stewardess approached me and asked, β€œSir, would you care for a drink?”

I asked her, β€œwhat are my options?”

She said, β€œyes or no.”

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMikeD1
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
So I was on a flight the other day when they guy next to me asked me if I heard of β€œbird strikes.”

I honestly didn’t think they could hold signs.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Don’t be latte for your flight
πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mafei06
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that flight simulator game sales have increased since the outbreak?

A lot of pilots are working from home too!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?

β€œMama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Leeuwe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently, if the Coronavirus outbreak gets worse, they might have to cancel all the flights in and out of John Lennon airport.

Imagine all the people.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jr1477
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother has a pilot's licence but only for private flights. So, he put ads all over his plane.

Now he flies commercial.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I pushed a chinese person down a flight of stairs

It was wong on so many levels

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sirdafiga
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
A man caught a deadly virus while waiting for his flight at the airport

He's terminal ill

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Feddny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Flight of Fight
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Creek217
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I was helping my friend move when I accidentally dropped his box of vinyl down a long flight of stairs.

The distance it fell was record breaking.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Just got off a long flight home from Chernobyl

And boy are my arms legs.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sunburnedtourist
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad is taking a flight today so asked my mom if he got off without a hitch

β€œYes. The hitch was too heavy to bring along.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TomBradyGoat1212
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
This butter came with my in-flight meal
πŸ‘︎ 703
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weeteuchter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2017
🚨︎ report
I was on the phone to an airline rep booking a flight.

She asked, "Window or Aisle?"

After a moment, I replied, "or you'll what?"

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AllAboutGuitar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why were the rappers late for their flight?

They forgot Tupac

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vagdryna
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the rooster miss its flight?

Because it forgot to chick-en.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-Brainchild-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Korean high school girl who flights crime in spare time?

Kimchi Possible, obviously

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ArthurRanpo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the doctor on the United flight?

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 136
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AYKW
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
🚨︎ report
What triggers a Spanish man's Fight or Flight response?

His-Panic.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NIRU1497
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Chinese quadrublet flight pioneers?

No you didn't. Two Wongs doesn't make one Wright.

Also, edit before anyone sees this: Yes, it's spelled quadruplet. I'm mildly drunk and I can't edit the title.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreger
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
The first rule of flight club...

Is to take flying lessons. Also know how to read carefully.

πŸ‘︎ 133
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GodMustafi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I just sat next to a baby on a 12 hour flight. I had no idea that someone could cry for 12 hours straight.

Even the baby seemed impressed.

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.