I have an addiction to unpowered flight puns, but I don't like to talk about it.
I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.
It was an....unmanned aircraft.
Every single person on my flight was reading at the same time.
The plane was fully booked.
Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"
I said, "Window or you'll do what?
Guy tries to board a plane with a dead racoon. The flight attendant says, "sir, you're going to have to check that"
"Don't worry," he replies, "It's carrion."
Why are the Hershey kisses not allowed in SpaceX flights?
Because Mars has monopoly
I lost my luggage on a flight to Helsinki once,
It vanished into Finnair.
Stolen from Keep Laughing Forever
To avoid Covid on my flight, they converted the whole plane to Catholicism and started praying.
Unfortunately now we’ve got a load of confirmed cases...
A man was seen doing something curious on a flight to Europe
Before boarding the plane, he threw some salt off the flight bridge
After they landed, he tossed some paprika
On the next leg, some nutmeg and a pinch of cumin.
The flight crew saw the combination, there was only one conclusion they could make...
He was a seasoned traveler
Which one of the flight attendants is a crossdresser?
Took a flight, and my luggage got torn to pieces....
My lawyer said I don’t have much of a case.
How to fall down a flight of stairs
Step 1:
Step 2:
Step 4:
Step 9 :
Step 17:
Step 36:
Floor
The Captain of our flight called the cops when he saw a film crew
He heard they were there to shoot a pilot
What did the baseball player say when the flight attendant asked what seat he was in?
A vulture was boarding a plane and he brought with him a dead racoon. The flight attendant, mortified by the sight and stench, pointed at the carcass and asked "Sir why did you bring a dead racoon with you."
The vulture said. "Oh this? This is my carrion luggage."
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, “If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?”
I said, “No, we will still be friends.”
I once sat next to a baby on a 10 hour flight. I had no idea that it was possible for someone to cry for 10 hours straight.
Even the baby was impressed.
Dad Flights Inc. is losing business
Some would say it’s a receding airline...
I have a joke about flight MH370
But I’m afraid it won’t land
My friend fell down a flight of steps then started looking at me without breaking eye contact...
I'm not sure why he was stairing.
It wasn't too long after the Wright brothers took flight..
There was a spider on my flight today
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.
The first rule of flight club...
is to take flying lessons. Also know how to read carefully.
Last time I was on a flight, the stewardess approached me and asked, “Sir, would you care for a drink?”
I asked her, “what are my options?”
She said, “yes or no.”
So I was on a flight the other day when they guy next to me asked me if I heard of “bird strikes.”
I honestly didn’t think they could hold signs.
Don’t be latte for your flight
Did you know that flight simulator game sales have increased since the outbreak?
A lot of pilots are working from home too!
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
Apparently, if the Coronavirus outbreak gets worse, they might have to cancel all the flights in and out of John Lennon airport.
My brother has a pilot's licence but only for private flights. So, he put ads all over his plane.
I pushed a chinese person down a flight of stairs
It was wong on so many levels
A man caught a deadly virus while waiting for his flight at the airport
I was helping my friend move when I accidentally dropped his box of vinyl down a long flight of stairs.
The distance it fell was record breaking.
Just got off a long flight home from Chernobyl
And boy are my arms legs.
Dad is taking a flight today so asked my mom if he got off without a hitch
“Yes. The hitch was too heavy to bring along.”
This butter came with my in-flight meal
I was on the phone to an airline rep booking a flight.
She asked, "Window or Aisle?"
After a moment, I replied, "or you'll what?"
Why were the rappers late for their flight?
Why did the rooster miss its flight?
Because it forgot to chick-en.
What do you call a Korean high school girl who flights crime in spare time?
Kimchi Possible, obviously
Did you hear about the doctor on the United flight?
What triggers a Spanish man's Fight or Flight response?
Did you hear about the Chinese quadrublet flight pioneers?
No you didn't. Two Wongs doesn't make one Wright.
Also, edit before anyone sees this: Yes, it's spelled quadruplet. I'm mildly drunk and I can't edit the title.
The first rule of flight club...
Is to take flying lessons. Also know how to read carefully.
I just sat next to a baby on a 12 hour flight. I had no idea that someone could cry for 12 hours straight.
Even the baby seemed impressed.
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