I have an addiction to unpowered flight puns, but I don't like to talk about it.
How to fall down a flight of stairs
Step 9 :
The Captain of our flight called the cops when he saw a film crew
He heard they were there to shoot a pilot
What did the baseball player say when the flight attendant asked what seat he was in?
A vulture was boarding a plane and he brought with him a dead racoon. The flight attendant, mortified by the sight and stench, pointed at the carcass and asked "Sir why did you bring a dead racoon with you."
The vulture said. "Oh this? This is my carrion luggage."
I once sat next to a baby on a 10 hour flight. I had no idea that it was possible for someone to cry for 10 hours straight.
Even the baby was impressed.
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, “If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?”
I said, “No, we will still be friends.”
My friend fell down a flight of steps then started looking at me without breaking eye contact...
I'm not sure why he was stairing.
Dad Flights Inc. is losing business
Some would say it’s a receding airline...
I have a joke about flight MH370
But I’m afraid it won’t land
It wasn't too long after the Wright brothers took flight..
There was a spider on my flight today
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.
If i’m scared to go on a flight, i always bring a bomb.
Because what’s the chance of being 2 bombs on 1 flight?
Last time I was on a flight, the stewardess approached me and asked, “Sir, would you care for a drink?”
I asked her, “what are my options?”
She said, “yes or no.”
Did you know that flight simulator game sales have increased since the outbreak?
A lot of pilots are working from home too!
So I was on a flight the other day when they guy next to me asked me if I heard of “bird strikes.”
I honestly didn’t think they could hold signs.
The first rule of flight club...
is to take flying lessons. Also know how to read carefully.
Apparently, if the Coronavirus outbreak gets worse, they might have to cancel all the flights in and out of John Lennon airport.
A man caught a deadly virus while waiting for his flight at the airport
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
My brother has a pilot's licence but only for private flights. So, he put ads all over his plane.
Don’t be latte for your flight
I was helping my friend move when I accidentally dropped his box of vinyl down a long flight of stairs.
The distance it fell was record breaking.
I pushed a chinese person down a flight of stairs
It was wong on so many levels
Dad is taking a flight today so asked my mom if he got off without a hitch
“Yes. The hitch was too heavy to bring along.”
I just sat next to a baby on a 12 hour flight. I had no idea that someone could cry for 12 hours straight.
Even the baby seemed impressed.
I was on the phone to an airline rep booking a flight.
She asked, "Window or Aisle?"
After a moment, I replied, "or you'll what?"
What do you call a Korean high school girl who flights crime in spare time?
Kimchi Possible, obviously
Why were the rappers late for their flight?
Did you hear about the Chinese quadrublet flight pioneers?
No you didn't. Two Wongs doesn't make one Wright.
Also, edit before anyone sees this: Yes, it's spelled quadruplet. I'm mildly drunk and I can't edit the title.
Why did the rooster miss its flight?
Because it forgot to chick-en.
Just got off a long flight home from Chernobyl
And boy are my arms legs.
Why to vultures never check any bags before a flight?
What triggers a Spanish man's Fight or Flight response?
This butter came with my in-flight meal
My flight was delayed an hour, but we got to our destination on time.
Our pilot must have been flying.
Did you hear about the doctor on the United flight?
What do you call a Thomas Cook flight going backwards?
The Flight Attendant kept making jokes...
But none of them seem to have landed.
[x-post from /r/puns] Why did the rooster miss its flight?
Because it forgot to chick-en
I never know what to do during long flights...
... they're just so Boeing
I was driving to the airport to catch my flight when I saw a sign that said “Airport Left” so I turned around and went home.
I got an early flight home so I decided to surprise my wife. Got home about 10 PM. Walked in my bedroom, and to my COMPLETE surprise, there is my wife in bed with my best friend. I couldn't believe it.
I then yelled for my dog to get off the bed.
The first rule of flight club...
Is to take flying lessons. Also know how to read carefully.