Plane Puns
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheSteaksAreHigher
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2017
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Some terrorists wanted to film a documentary about plane hijackings

They are currently shooting the pilot

πŸ‘οΈŽ 83
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/heartbreaker963
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 05 2021
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They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....

But you have to prove your jokes can land.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dogmatic_Catalyst
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 03 2021
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I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.

It was an....unmanned aircraft.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 62
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 23 2021
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'My wife is on a plane to Illinois.'

'Chicago?'

'Nah, she passenger.'

πŸ‘οΈŽ 65
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NotTheMessiah83
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07 2021
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If your pet dies while you are transporting them on a plane, do they become Carrion Carry-on?
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MostExpensiveThing
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 05 2021
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Guy tries to board a plane with a dead racoon. The flight attendant says, "sir, you're going to have to check that"

"Don't worry," he replies, "It's carrion."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 698
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jsradford
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2021
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I wasn’t allowed to take my oversized board game on the plane as a carryon.

They said, β€˜The Risk is too large”.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 02 2021
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What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?

Stationary.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 07 2021
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After Orville and Wilbur’s first horrific and fatal plane-accident leaving their remains scattered on the tarmac, the chief medical examiner approaching what was left of them simply asked:

β€œAre you all Wright?!”

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fadedmemento
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2021
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Never ever get on a plane if the pilot is Dutch...

He'll take off and Netherland.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MediocreGinga
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 27 2021
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Who flies a fast plane and robs ships?

A fighter pirate

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/peterburk
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 17 2021
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What happened to the plane run by a computer?

It crashed.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Samwyzh
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11 2021
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The FAA has issued new guidelines on speed for airplanes to dock and passengers to board the plane.

The speeds for both are now known as "terminal velocity".

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cinnamonprogrammer
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11 2021
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A 2-seater plane crashed into a graveyard in Ireland...

So far they've recovered 46 bodies

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 23 2021
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So this plane takes off, am I right??

...I guess not every joke lands

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mau5ofcards
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 27 2021
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I'm not sure when my plane will get here

It's pretty up in the air right now

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TurtleofAwesomeness
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 04 2021
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I once took a trip to Seattle on a plane in which the stewards only served candy made when peanut butter meets milk chocolate...

I don't know how far this Reese eating airline goes...

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18 2021
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Plane
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DONTRUNIAMFAT177328
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2020
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Shakes On a Plane.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 21 2021
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Its lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India

Turnsout, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shiva8512
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2021
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To avoid Covid on my flight, they converted the whole plane to Catholicism and started praying.

Unfortunately now we’ve got a load of confirmed cases...

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Skyfox2k
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2021
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I'm flying to Florida today. Best part about the plane is

it can take off Or lando

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RedLuminous
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2021
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My son asked me how often planes crash

Usually just once

πŸ‘οΈŽ 128
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Valdagast
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2021
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Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?

To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Natural_Link_2841
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 12 2021
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What do you call a plane full of tired pilots?

Jet lag.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FriedBaozi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 09 2021
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Last time I flew my plane a Navy pilot checked his speed right after me. Ground said he was doing 761 mph.

Knot gonna lie I think he was mach-ing me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MahlonMurder
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 02 2021
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How do you fix BeyoncΓ©'s private plane

Put a wing on it

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FranticFridge
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 15 2021
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Who invented the first plane

That's Wright

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 20 2021
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If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn
πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/not_snk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2020
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art teacher: is that a bird or a plane

young clark kent: crumples self portrait

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/suktupbutterkup
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 24 2021
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What sound does a bouncy plane make?

Boeing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 397
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 07 2020
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Me and my plane had a fight

We now have thrust issues

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OshriM
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2020
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My dad confiscated my weed so I stole his plane ticket.

I guess neither of us will be getting high.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 16 2020
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quit loafing around, i have a plane to get to
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mexpotato
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 30 2020
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Have you seen the movie about production methods of boats, planes, and bridges in the 20th century?

I can't remember the name but it's riveting.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Joey_the_Duck
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2021
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Two elephants and a snake fall out of a plane...

Bu-DUM hisssss

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/awesomecorearts
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2020
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A vulture was boarding a plane and he brought with him a dead racoon. The flight attendant, mortified by the sight and stench, pointed at the carcass and asked "Sir why did you bring a dead racoon with you."

The vulture said. "Oh this? This is my carrion luggage."

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Fearless-Gas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 18 2020
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What do you call a plane that always lands rough?

Boing

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/furry_anus_destroyer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2020
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I want to learn more facts about planes

But they keep going over my head.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Finger-Printer-Jam
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25 2020
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My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.

Still to this day holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mylifeisboringtbhwow
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 06 2019
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Elon Musk should sell planes

That could really take off

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ASHER999999
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26 2020
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Why was Gimli so interested in plotting equations on an x-y coordinate plane?

He heard it involved axes.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Calm_Fan_381
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2020
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A Vulture is about to get on a plane.

Do you have any baggage to declare?

No thanks, just carrion.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Apollonius_Cone
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 08 2020
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Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.

Push him out of the plane at 30,000 feet and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 19 2020
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Why didn’t the passengers receive flowers when their plane landed in Hawaii?

Their flight was deleied.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02 2020
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