Plane Puns
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︎ Nov 22 2017
Some terrorists wanted to film a documentary about plane hijackings
They are currently shooting the pilot
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︎ Jun 05 2021
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
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︎ Jun 03 2021
I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.
It was an....unmanned aircraft.
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︎ May 23 2021
'My wife is on a plane to Illinois.'
'Chicago?'
'Nah, she passenger.'
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︎ May 07 2021
If your pet dies while you are transporting them on a plane, do they become Carrion Carry-on?
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︎ Jun 05 2021
Guy tries to board a plane with a dead racoon. The flight attendant says, "sir, you're going to have to check that"
"Don't worry," he replies, "It's carrion."
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︎ Mar 30 2021
I wasnβt allowed to take my oversized board game on the plane as a carryon.
They said, βThe Risk is too largeβ.
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︎ Jun 02 2021
What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?
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︎ Apr 07 2021
After Orville and Wilburβs first horrific and fatal plane-accident leaving their remains scattered on the tarmac, the chief medical examiner approaching what was left of them simply asked:
βAre you all Wright?!β
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︎ Apr 15 2021
Never ever get on a plane if the pilot is Dutch...
He'll take off and Netherland.
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︎ Apr 27 2021
Who flies a fast plane and robs ships?
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︎ May 17 2021
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
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︎ May 11 2021
The FAA has issued new guidelines on speed for airplanes to dock and passengers to board the plane.
The speeds for both are now known as "terminal velocity".
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︎ May 11 2021
A 2-seater plane crashed into a graveyard in Ireland...
So far they've recovered 46 bodies
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︎ Apr 23 2021
So this plane takes off, am I right??
...I guess not every joke lands
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︎ Mar 27 2021
I'm not sure when my plane will get here
It's pretty up in the air right now
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︎ Apr 04 2021
I once took a trip to Seattle on a plane in which the stewards only served candy made when peanut butter meets milk chocolate...
I don't know how far this Reese eating airline goes...
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︎ Mar 18 2021
Plane
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︎ Dec 30 2020
Shakes On a Plane.
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︎ Feb 21 2021
Its lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India
Turnsout, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches
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︎ Mar 14 2021
To avoid Covid on my flight, they converted the whole plane to Catholicism and started praying.
Unfortunately now weβve got a load of confirmed cases...
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︎ Jan 30 2021
I'm flying to Florida today. Best part about the plane is
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︎ Feb 23 2021
My son asked me how often planes crash
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︎ Jan 14 2021
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
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︎ Feb 12 2021
What do you call a plane full of tired pilots?
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︎ Feb 09 2021
Last time I flew my plane a Navy pilot checked his speed right after me. Ground said he was doing 761 mph.
Knot gonna lie I think he was mach-ing me.
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︎ Mar 02 2021
How do you fix BeyoncΓ©'s private plane
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︎ Feb 15 2021
Who invented the first plane
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︎ Jan 20 2021
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn
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︎ Nov 26 2020
art teacher: is that a bird or a plane
young clark kent: crumples self portrait
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︎ Jan 24 2021
What sound does a bouncy plane make?
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︎ Aug 07 2020
Me and my plane had a fight
We now have thrust issues
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︎ Dec 26 2020
My dad confiscated my weed so I stole his plane ticket.
I guess neither of us will be getting high.
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︎ Dec 16 2020
quit loafing around, i have a plane to get to
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︎ Sep 30 2020
Have you seen the movie about production methods of boats, planes, and bridges in the 20th century?
I can't remember the name but it's riveting.
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︎ Jan 02 2021
Two elephants and a snake fall out of a plane...
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︎ Dec 20 2020
A vulture was boarding a plane and he brought with him a dead racoon. The flight attendant, mortified by the sight and stench, pointed at the carcass and asked "Sir why did you bring a dead racoon with you."
The vulture said. "Oh this? This is my carrion luggage."
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︎ Oct 18 2020
What do you call a plane that always lands rough?
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︎ Dec 24 2020
I want to learn more facts about planes
But they keep going over my head.
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︎ Aug 25 2020
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.
Still to this day holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
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︎ Sep 06 2019
Elon Musk should sell planes
That could really take off
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︎ Sep 26 2020
Why was Gimli so interested in plotting equations on an x-y coordinate plane?
He heard it involved axes.
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︎ Dec 11 2020
A Vulture is about to get on a plane.
Do you have any baggage to declare?
No thanks, just carrion.
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︎ Dec 08 2020
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.
Push him out of the plane at 30,000 feet and heβll fly for the rest of his life.
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Why didnβt the passengers receive flowers when their plane landed in Hawaii?
Their flight was deleied.
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︎ Dec 02 2020
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