Plane Puns
ποΈ 36
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οΈ Nov 22 2017
Some terrorists wanted to film a documentary about plane hijackings
They are currently shooting the pilot
ποΈ 83
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οΈ Jun 05 2021
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
ποΈ 23
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οΈ Jun 03 2021
I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.
It was an....unmanned aircraft.
ποΈ 62
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οΈ May 23 2021
'My wife is on a plane to Illinois.'
'Chicago?'
'Nah, she passenger.'
ποΈ 65
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οΈ May 07 2021
If your pet dies while you are transporting them on a plane, do they become Carrion Carry-on?
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Jun 05 2021
Guy tries to board a plane with a dead racoon. The flight attendant says, "sir, you're going to have to check that"
"Don't worry," he replies, "It's carrion."
ποΈ 698
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οΈ Mar 30 2021
I wasnβt allowed to take my oversized board game on the plane as a carryon.
They said, βThe Risk is too largeβ.
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Jun 02 2021
What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?
ποΈ 299
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οΈ Apr 07 2021
After Orville and Wilburβs first horrific and fatal plane-accident leaving their remains scattered on the tarmac, the chief medical examiner approaching what was left of them simply asked:
βAre you all Wright?!β
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Apr 15 2021
Never ever get on a plane if the pilot is Dutch...
He'll take off and Netherland.
ποΈ 12
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οΈ Apr 27 2021
Who flies a fast plane and robs ships?
ποΈ 5
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οΈ May 17 2021
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
ποΈ 7
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οΈ May 11 2021
The FAA has issued new guidelines on speed for airplanes to dock and passengers to board the plane.
The speeds for both are now known as "terminal velocity".
ποΈ 3
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οΈ May 11 2021
A 2-seater plane crashed into a graveyard in Ireland...
So far they've recovered 46 bodies
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Apr 23 2021
So this plane takes off, am I right??
...I guess not every joke lands
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Mar 27 2021
I'm not sure when my plane will get here
It's pretty up in the air right now
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Apr 04 2021
I once took a trip to Seattle on a plane in which the stewards only served candy made when peanut butter meets milk chocolate...
I don't know how far this Reese eating airline goes...
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Mar 18 2021
Plane
ποΈ 69
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οΈ Dec 30 2020
Shakes On a Plane.
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Feb 21 2021
Its lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India
Turnsout, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches
ποΈ 17
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οΈ Mar 14 2021
To avoid Covid on my flight, they converted the whole plane to Catholicism and started praying.
Unfortunately now weβve got a load of confirmed cases...
ποΈ 13
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οΈ Jan 30 2021
I'm flying to Florida today. Best part about the plane is
ποΈ 11
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οΈ Feb 23 2021
My son asked me how often planes crash
ποΈ 128
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οΈ Jan 14 2021
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Feb 12 2021
What do you call a plane full of tired pilots?
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Feb 09 2021
Last time I flew my plane a Navy pilot checked his speed right after me. Ground said he was doing 761 mph.
Knot gonna lie I think he was mach-ing me.
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Mar 02 2021
How do you fix BeyoncΓ©'s private plane
ποΈ 11
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οΈ Feb 15 2021
Who invented the first plane
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Jan 20 2021
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn
ποΈ 21
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οΈ Nov 26 2020
art teacher: is that a bird or a plane
young clark kent: crumples self portrait
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Jan 24 2021
What sound does a bouncy plane make?
ποΈ 397
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οΈ Aug 07 2020
Me and my plane had a fight
We now have thrust issues
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Dec 26 2020
My dad confiscated my weed so I stole his plane ticket.
I guess neither of us will be getting high.
ποΈ 24
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οΈ Dec 16 2020
quit loafing around, i have a plane to get to
ποΈ 54
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οΈ Sep 30 2020
Have you seen the movie about production methods of boats, planes, and bridges in the 20th century?
I can't remember the name but it's riveting.
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Jan 02 2021
Two elephants and a snake fall out of a plane...
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Dec 20 2020
A vulture was boarding a plane and he brought with him a dead racoon. The flight attendant, mortified by the sight and stench, pointed at the carcass and asked "Sir why did you bring a dead racoon with you."
The vulture said. "Oh this? This is my carrion luggage."
ποΈ 50
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οΈ Oct 18 2020
What do you call a plane that always lands rough?
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Dec 24 2020
I want to learn more facts about planes
But they keep going over my head.
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Aug 25 2020
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.
Still to this day holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
ποΈ 10k
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οΈ Sep 06 2019
Elon Musk should sell planes
That could really take off
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Sep 26 2020
Why was Gimli so interested in plotting equations on an x-y coordinate plane?
He heard it involved axes.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Dec 11 2020
A Vulture is about to get on a plane.
Do you have any baggage to declare?
No thanks, just carrion.
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Dec 08 2020
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.
Push him out of the plane at 30,000 feet and heβll fly for the rest of his life.
ποΈ 11
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οΈ Nov 19 2020
Why didnβt the passengers receive flowers when their plane landed in Hawaii?
Their flight was deleied.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Dec 02 2020
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