Plane Puns
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2017
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Some terrorists wanted to film a documentary about plane hijackings

They are currently shooting the pilot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heartbreaker963
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2021
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They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....

But you have to prove your jokes can land.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dogmatic_Catalyst
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2021
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I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.

It was an....unmanned aircraft.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2021
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'My wife is on a plane to Illinois.'

'Chicago?'

'Nah, she passenger.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotTheMessiah83
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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If your pet dies while you are transporting them on a plane, do they become Carrion Carry-on?
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2021
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Guy tries to board a plane with a dead racoon. The flight attendant says, "sir, you're going to have to check that"

"Don't worry," he replies, "It's carrion."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jsradford
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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I wasn’t allowed to take my oversized board game on the plane as a carryon.

They said, β€˜The Risk is too large”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
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What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?

Stationary.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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After Orville and Wilbur’s first horrific and fatal plane-accident leaving their remains scattered on the tarmac, the chief medical examiner approaching what was left of them simply asked:

β€œAre you all Wright?!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fadedmemento
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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Never ever get on a plane if the pilot is Dutch...

He'll take off and Netherland.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MediocreGinga
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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Who flies a fast plane and robs ships?

A fighter pirate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peterburk
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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What happened to the plane run by a computer?

It crashed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Samwyzh
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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The FAA has issued new guidelines on speed for airplanes to dock and passengers to board the plane.

The speeds for both are now known as "terminal velocity".

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πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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A 2-seater plane crashed into a graveyard in Ireland...

So far they've recovered 46 bodies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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So this plane takes off, am I right??

...I guess not every joke lands

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mau5ofcards
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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I'm not sure when my plane will get here

It's pretty up in the air right now

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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I once took a trip to Seattle on a plane in which the stewards only served candy made when peanut butter meets milk chocolate...

I don't know how far this Reese eating airline goes...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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Plane
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Shakes On a Plane.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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Its lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India

Turnsout, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shiva8512
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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To avoid Covid on my flight, they converted the whole plane to Catholicism and started praying.

Unfortunately now we’ve got a load of confirmed cases...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skyfox2k
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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I'm flying to Florida today. Best part about the plane is

it can take off Or lando

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedLuminous
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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My son asked me how often planes crash

Usually just once

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Valdagast
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?

To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Natural_Link_2841
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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What do you call a plane full of tired pilots?

Jet lag.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FriedBaozi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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Last time I flew my plane a Navy pilot checked his speed right after me. Ground said he was doing 761 mph.

Knot gonna lie I think he was mach-ing me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MahlonMurder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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How do you fix BeyoncΓ©'s private plane

Put a wing on it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FranticFridge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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Who invented the first plane

That's Wright

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn
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πŸ‘€︎ u/not_snk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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art teacher: is that a bird or a plane

young clark kent: crumples self portrait

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πŸ‘€︎ u/suktupbutterkup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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What sound does a bouncy plane make?

Boeing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Me and my plane had a fight

We now have thrust issues

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OshriM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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My dad confiscated my weed so I stole his plane ticket.

I guess neither of us will be getting high.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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quit loafing around, i have a plane to get to
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mexpotato
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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Have you seen the movie about production methods of boats, planes, and bridges in the 20th century?

I can't remember the name but it's riveting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joey_the_Duck
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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Two elephants and a snake fall out of a plane...

Bu-DUM hisssss

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesomecorearts
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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A vulture was boarding a plane and he brought with him a dead racoon. The flight attendant, mortified by the sight and stench, pointed at the carcass and asked "Sir why did you bring a dead racoon with you."

The vulture said. "Oh this? This is my carrion luggage."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fearless-Gas
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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What do you call a plane that always lands rough?

Boing

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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I want to learn more facts about planes

But they keep going over my head.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.

Still to this day holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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Elon Musk should sell planes

That could really take off

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ASHER999999
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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Why was Gimli so interested in plotting equations on an x-y coordinate plane?

He heard it involved axes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calm_Fan_381
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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A Vulture is about to get on a plane.

Do you have any baggage to declare?

No thanks, just carrion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apollonius_Cone
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.

Push him out of the plane at 30,000 feet and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Why didn’t the passengers receive flowers when their plane landed in Hawaii?

Their flight was deleied.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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