Guy tries to board a plane with a dead racoon. The flight attendant says, "sir, you're going to have to check that"
"Don't worry," he replies, "It's carrion."
What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?
After Orville and Wilbur’s first horrific and fatal plane-accident leaving their remains scattered on the tarmac, the chief medical examiner approaching what was left of them simply asked:
Never ever get on a plane if the pilot is Dutch...
He'll take off and Netherland.
A 2-seater plane crashed into a graveyard in Ireland...
So far they've recovered 46 bodies
So this plane takes off, am I right??
...I guess not every joke lands
I'm not sure when my plane will get here
It's pretty up in the air right now
I once took a trip to Seattle on a plane in which the stewards only served candy made when peanut butter meets milk chocolate...
I don't know how far this Reese eating airline goes...
Its lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India
Turnsout, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches
To avoid Covid on my flight, they converted the whole plane to Catholicism and started praying.
Unfortunately now we’ve got a load of confirmed cases...
I'm flying to Florida today. Best part about the plane is
My son asked me how often planes crash
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
What do you call a plane full of tired pilots?
Last time I flew my plane a Navy pilot checked his speed right after me. Ground said he was doing 761 mph.
Knot gonna lie I think he was mach-ing me.
How do you fix Beyoncé's private plane
Who invented the first plane
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn
art teacher: is that a bird or a plane
young clark kent: crumples self portrait
Me and my plane had a fight
We now have thrust issues
My dad confiscated my weed so I stole his plane ticket.
I guess neither of us will be getting high.
What sound does a bouncy plane make?
Have you seen the movie about production methods of boats, planes, and bridges in the 20th century?
I can't remember the name but it's riveting.
quit loafing around, i have a plane to get to
Two elephants and a snake fall out of a plane...
What do you call a plane that always lands rough?
A vulture was boarding a plane and he brought with him a dead racoon. The flight attendant, mortified by the sight and stench, pointed at the carcass and asked "Sir why did you bring a dead racoon with you."
The vulture said. "Oh this? This is my carrion luggage."
Why was Gimli so interested in plotting equations on an x-y coordinate plane?
He heard it involved axes.
A Vulture is about to get on a plane.
Do you have any baggage to declare?
No thanks, just carrion.
Elon Musk should sell planes
That could really take off
I want to learn more facts about planes
But they keep going over my head.
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.
Push him out of the plane at 30,000 feet and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
Why didn’t the passengers receive flowers when their plane landed in Hawaii?
Their flight was deleied.
Why did the momma plane say the son plane couldn't fly?
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.
Still to this day holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
What happened to a male plane when it saw a female plane?
I don’t know what it is about planes but
They seem to have really taken off recently.
I'm on a plane and the lunch choices are: white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I'm seated in the last row.
I'm hoping for the breast, but preparing
for the wurst.
I have this disease where I can’t stop signaling to planes for help.
The doctor told me my symptoms are flaring up.
Apparently there was a crime that happened on the airplane that led to the plane crashing into the ocean.
The police are trying to investigate to figure out how it all went down.
What do you call a black guy that flys a plane?
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