My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
Why shouldn’t you shave a puppy?
Because then it would be a little bare.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
I couldn't shave this morning because someone stole my mirror.
The police are looking into it.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
How does Occam shave everyday?
With his razor of course...
I vowed not to shave during the COVID-19 quarantine. My wife doesn't like my beard.
But it's really growing on me.
What happens when a cow doesn't shave?
They grow a moostache
(thank you milk carton at an elementary school)
I grew a beard in isolation and I asked my daughter "Should I shave my beard?“ she said "No Dad, it's grown on me"
I said "Funnily enough it's grown on me too!"
Why doesn't the moon shave?
My wife wants me to shave this mustache I have had since quarantine...
But it's been growing on me.
Me: I'm going to grow out the hair on my upper lip, then shave it, put it in a box, and hide that box.
Me: It's going to be my secret stash
Darlings you got to let me know. Should I shave or should I grow? If I shave there could be stubble, and if I grow it could be double. So c’mon and let me know ohhhh..
Dad walks in tell me (who just started dreading having to shave) and says: I too didn't like my beard at first.
Then it grew on me. finger guns
I had to shave with my razor today
Apparently I can't pull off facial hair
I asked my barber if it was difficult to shave the line thingy on my head
He said "that's the hard part"
When I told my friend I had decided to shave all my hair, he looked me in tge eyes and said:
Who can shave 20 times a day and still grow a beard?
The other week I went to get a hair cut and a shave
The line was really long and as I waited two guys in front of me went fisticuffs and the police were called.
I went home hungry, thirsty and disappointed.
Worst Barber Queue ever.
I always wanted my dad to grow a beard and would try to get him to not shave in the mornings. As he began shaving, he would always promise me that he’d start growing a beard ‘tomorrow’, but he never did.
He was a bald faced liar.
Which of the 45 American presidents did not shave?
What do you call a line of men outside a shop waiting to have a haircut and shave?
How does Sean Connery shave?
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs
I saw a man using peanut butter as shaving cream to shave his testicals
I said, “What are you doing man, that’s just nuts!”
Never shave in a helicopter...
Unless you want Apache beard.
I successfully completed the "No Shave November" challenge.
I also lost my job as a barber in the process.
My friend asked why I didn't shave after November ended
I replied, "It grew on me."
What does Satan shave with?
What can shave your face and travel at three times the speed of sound?
I wasn’t really sure about this beard when no shave November started
But it’s really starting to grow on me.
No! You can't force me to shave my forearms!
I have a right to bear arms!
How does a sassy lady tell someone they should shave?
I'm happy I'm getting a promotion at work, but sad I'm going to have to shave my beard.
Half-way through No Shave November, my wife told me she actually likes the way I look with a beard.
I told her, "Yeah, it's been growing on me."
Lesbian couples don't wax or shave for their wedding...
I doubt I'll shave at the end of November
My beard is really growing on me.
I grew out my beard in November. Here I am about to shave it off but...