My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.

She didn’t razor right.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Why shouldn’t you shave a puppy?

Because then it would be a little bare.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?

Shear size

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CascadePSA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I couldn't shave this morning because someone stole my mirror.

The police are looking into it.

πŸ‘︎ 427
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EasyOutside4
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.

It said, "You look ugly without a beard."

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
How does Occam shave everyday?

With his razor of course...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tabunD
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I vowed not to shave during the COVID-19 quarantine. My wife doesn't like my beard.

But it's really growing on me.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigpaulycolini
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens when a cow doesn't shave?

They grow a moostache

(thank you milk carton at an elementary school)

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tracyrose10
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I grew a beard in isolation and I asked my daughter "Should I shave my beard?β€œ she said "No Dad, it's grown on me"

I said "Funnily enough it's grown on me too!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NerdonSight
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why doesn't the moon shave?

Because it waxes

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Light_bulbnz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife wants me to shave this mustache I have had since quarantine...

But it's been growing on me.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Traveler_Barbed
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: I'm going to grow out the hair on my upper lip, then shave it, put it in a box, and hide that box.

Wife: Why...?

Me: It's going to be my secret stash

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Darlings you got to let me know. Should I shave or should I grow? If I shave there could be stubble, and if I grow it could be double. So c’mon and let me know ohhhh..
πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slomaroma
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad walks in tell me (who just started dreading having to shave) and says: I too didn't like my beard at first.

Then it grew on me. finger guns

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I had to shave with my razor today

Apparently I can't pull off facial hair

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mopcleex
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my barber if it was difficult to shave the line thingy on my head

He said "that's the hard part"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ps374
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
When I told my friend I had decided to shave all my hair, he looked me in tge eyes and said:

"That's a bald move"

πŸ‘︎ 448
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FrunkyFrosk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Who can shave 20 times a day and still grow a beard?

A barber

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/U4gotmycheese
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
The other week I went to get a hair cut and a shave

The line was really long and as I waited two guys in front of me went fisticuffs and the police were called.

I went home hungry, thirsty and disappointed.

Worst Barber Queue ever.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kactusotp
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I always wanted my dad to grow a beard and would try to get him to not shave in the mornings. As he began shaving, he would always promise me that he’d start growing a beard β€˜tomorrow’, but he never did.

He was a bald faced liar.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
How dose a printer shave

Fax on fax off

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ubeengnomed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Which of the 45 American presidents did not shave?

George Bush

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lucas1607
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do Pencils shave?

To look sharp

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bcubed1812
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
A close shave with death
πŸ‘︎ 240
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jnr_jinx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a line of men outside a shop waiting to have a haircut and shave?

A barber queue.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AllHailTheWinslow
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
How does Sean Connery shave?

Ctrl+s

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ManOfLaBook
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2015
🚨︎ report
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?

She wanted 100 doll hairs

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RCRadioCarbon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a man using peanut butter as shaving cream to shave his testicals

I said, β€œWhat are you doing man, that’s just nuts!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wyl-dog
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Never shave in a helicopter...

Unless you want Apache beard.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Maester_Magus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I successfully completed the "No Shave November" challenge.

I also lost my job as a barber in the process.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend asked why I didn't shave after November ended

I replied, "It grew on me."

πŸ‘︎ 124
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/startselect3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2017
🚨︎ report
What does Satan shave with?

A hell razor

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Al-aron_Bahdaz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What can shave your face and travel at three times the speed of sound?

Mach3.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/biryanisalan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I wasn’t really sure about this beard when no shave November started

But it’s really starting to grow on me.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/grnxnhm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
🚨︎ report
No! You can't force me to shave my forearms!

I have a right to bear arms!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordOfSun55
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2018
🚨︎ report
How does a sassy lady tell someone they should shave?

Obituary

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TacoChild159
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm happy I'm getting a promotion at work, but sad I'm going to have to shave my beard.

It really grew on me.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mad_Hatter_Bot
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2017
🚨︎ report
Half-way through No Shave November, my wife told me she actually likes the way I look with a beard.

I told her, "Yeah, it's been growing on me."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bluedit5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2017
🚨︎ report
Lesbian couples don't wax or shave for their wedding...

Because it's groomless!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lan_chop
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2017
🚨︎ report
I doubt I'll shave at the end of November

My beard is really growing on me.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Man_of_Aluminum
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2014
🚨︎ report
I grew out my beard in November. Here I am about to shave it off but...

...It grew on me.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xThroughTheGrayx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report

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