I was going to share a joke about planes.

But I do not think it will take off.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SteadyingRuck
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A pilot told a joke and he and his plane disappeared.

It didn't land.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brannigans_Law__
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Wanna hear a joke about planes?

Never mind, It will just fly over your head

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrikeyKillz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
i’ve got a good joke about planes

but i think it would just go over your head

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iisowo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I always try to make good plane jokes.

But they never take off

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoossyyBodger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I told my friend a joke about a malfunctioning plane once...

...it never took off.

πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RottinSkullZz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Him: Have you ever heard the joke about the plane?

Her: No, what is it?

Him: Nevermind, it will probably go over your head

Her: I’m pretty smart

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I got told a offensive joke about planes

I wasnt happy but i let it fly.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2suomalaista
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I tried a bunch of jokes about plane crashes on someone

Sadly, none of them landed well

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/225Redditstar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
🚨︎ report
So many plane jokes going over her head...
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayDosson
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad dropped this bird plane joke on me.

Two birds were flying together peacefully in the air. All of a sudden, a 747 blew past them at high speed. The birds were tumbling, tumbling, tumbling and tumbling, until they finally stabilized.

BIRD 1 exclaimed: "Woah! Did you see how fast that bird flew past us!"

BIRD 2 still dizzy from tumbling replied: "If you had 4 assholes on fireπŸ”₯ you would be going that fast too!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chefboyclakie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
🚨︎ report
My mate's dad joke before he got on the plane to Mongolia

'A plateau is the highest form of flattery'

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maxissama
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2014
🚨︎ report
A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly ...

... and as you can see, they were Wright

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a paper airplane that can't fly?

Stationary.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Seven_Arcadian
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.

She looked me dead in the eye and said, β€œWindow or aisle?” I laughed in her face and replied, β€œWindow or you’ll what?”

πŸ‘︎ 20k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nandos677
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes

My doctor says it’s terminal

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schiggy182
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Help!! Creative Minds Needed!!

My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.

Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says β€œcoolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.

Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??

  • I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!

Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that β€œcreative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm on a plane and the lunch choices are: white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I'm seated in the last row.

I'm hoping for the breast, but preparing for the wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?

He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do blind people hate skydiving?

It scares the hell out of their dogs.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/singh-avi
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
my first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?

copilot: they keep your shirt closed

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigbrady99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
There are 503 bricks....

There are 503 bricks on a plane, and one falls off, how many bricks remain?

502

This is a change joke and I made an animation about it. https://youtu.be/9Eaj94Z1rNc

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/markom3d
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What noise does a 747 make when it bounces?

Boeing, Boeing, Boeing

πŸ‘︎ 131
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TJVpower
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do we want? Low flying airplane noises

When do we want it

Neeeooooooow

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hamburgler007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Is it just me or is 21 pilots 19 more than they need?
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IvanDimitriov
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Nothing tops a plain pizza.
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
🚨︎ report
I hired lawyers to sue the airline company for mishandling my luggage.

They lost my case.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2018
🚨︎ report
My Dad's worst (and coincidentally most-often-told) joke. I miss him.

When I was in the Navy, I was on the deck of a destroyer one day, and I saw a the periscope of an enemy submarine surface nearby. So, quick as a flash, I whipped off my hat and dropped it over the periscope. As the periscope was covered, the submarine didn't realise it had reached the surface, so it kept rising... and when it got to 10,000 feet, we shot it down with the anti-aircraft guns.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmilytheDodo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2015
🚨︎ report
Stranger at the airport dadjoked my dadjoke.

i was getting off an airplane, and i passed a little boy who was saying "bye, plane!". i, remembering a dadjoke i saw here, said "no, this isn't a biplane" The kid's dad immediately gave me a condescending look and said "you can't tell it's sexual preference based just on how it looks."

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jpresken2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2014
🚨︎ report
I never know what to do during long flights...

... they're just so Boeing

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xMZA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
🚨︎ report
If Ace Ventura was a dad...
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquireMav
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2013
🚨︎ report
Dad joked by control systems prof

When asked why he always wears a checkered shirt he replied "I like to wear grid patterns so I always look like I'm plotting something"

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ComicSansofTime
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2014
🚨︎ report
My wife plays violin. I used to play trumpet. Last night we talked aviation.

My wife plays violin and her first rehearsal with a new orchestra is near. She had access to an electronic copy of the music, but wondered whether the orchestra would distribute paper copies at the rehearsal. For orchestras, the section leaders decide when everyone's bows will be moving up vs. down and annotate the music accordingly. Copies of the annotated music are distributed to the players. As a trumpet player who's never needed that kind of annotation, I've always been able to use the originals.

Wife: "String players never play from the originals because we have bowings."

Me: "And wind players have Airbuses!"

Wife: "That joke was just plane awful."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfofurn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2016
🚨︎ report
Pilot got me with this one

So I'm getting off of a plane after a long tiring day of travel to Newark and the pilot pulled this one on me as i walked by: Me: "Thank you" Pilot: "No problem. Welcome to Boston!" He laughed when i was utterly confused for a second.

πŸ‘︎ 117
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pandaleep
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2014
🚨︎ report
Want to hear a joke about planes?

Never mind it will go over your head

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_Saying
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Want to hear a joke about planes?

Never mind it will go over your head

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_Saying
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Want to hear a joke about a plane?

It'll probably go over your head.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_drumstic_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2017
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.

The doctor says it's terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
airplane pun

I was going to make a joke on a broken plane

but it never took off

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ocrebb776
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes

The doctor says it's terminal

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bgreenwood95
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
why did the airline company mandate that vanilla ice cream be served on all aircraft

so that they could make plain plane jokes

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crypt-lord
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What noise does a 747 make when it bounces?

Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wehavechocolate
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do we want?

Low Flying airplane noises!

When do we want them?

Neeeeeeeooooooowww!!

πŸ‘︎ 461
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Murphy223
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
🚨︎ report
So a photon gets on a plane and the stewardess asks him if he has any luggage

And he says no, I'm traveling light.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xtrememudder89
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2017
🚨︎ report

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