I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.
I think it may be terminal
I caught the flu at an airport once.
It was a terminal illness.
(Special thanks to my dog's friend's dad for this one)
Why are airport farts the best farts?
The best place to hide something is at an airport
You'd be hiding something in plane site.
Seeing Airport Security confiscate all of my smuggled sausages out of my luggage...
...Really was the Wurst Case Scenario
I'm starting a business in airports selling bags with the faces of Sid James, Hattie Jacques, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey and Joan Sims on them.
It'll be called "Carry On Baggage".
My grandson’s dad joke ( very proud grandfather) What kind of chips do you get at the airport?
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
I saw Bill Gates at the airport today
I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage...
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport?
I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel, and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.
It was ....the worst case scenario.
I sued the airport authorities because they misplaced my belongings
I had a friend who kept telling airport jokes as he got sicker and sicker from Covid-19
He eventually died. I guess the condition was terminal.
They’ve locked down Liverpool John Lennon Airport and all the passengers are trapped inside
Imagine, all the people...
So my airports fell in the toilet
I was diagnosed with a condition where I can't stop making airport jokes.
The doctor said it was terminal
I’ve been diagnosed with a terrible disease that makes me tell an abundance of airport jokes...
The doctor says it’s terminal
I was waiting for my wife at the airport, when I saw that she was ringing me.
I picked it up and she said sorrowfully, "I didn't make the plane."
"That's fine, honey," I replied. "You know nothing about construction."
Did you hear that John Lennon airport went into quarantine earlier?
Y'all hear about the fat lady that got arrested at the airport?
They didn't find any dope on her, but they found 112 pounds of crack!
(Brought to you by my grandpa.)
Apparently, if the Coronavirus outbreak gets worse, they might have to cancel all the flights in and out of John Lennon airport.
There’s a guy in a European airport, and he sees a man carrying a ten foot metal pole. He asks the guy, “Are you a pole vaulter?”
The man says, “Actually, I’m German, but how did you know my name is Walter?”
A man caught a deadly virus while waiting for his flight at the airport
I walked into a airport
I thought of making up a joke on the fly but decided not to just incase it didn't land right
What do you get when you fall sick at an airport?
I drank alot of alcohol at the airport last night.
I now have a terminal hangover.
Saw the damnedest thing at the airport. A vulture was trying to board the plane with a dead, rotting animal hanging out of its mouth. Gate agent tried to stop him...
...and the vulture said, "I'm clearly permitted one piece of carrion luggage."
I saw a man walking through an airport holding a basketball...
Overheard heard from an honest to goodness dad in the airport: Oh no, I ripped my sock...
You should never say “hi” to your friend Jack at the airport.
At the Charlotte airport.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
I got stopped for routine check at the airport
turns out my daily routine is more productive than others
Edit: thanks cappuch for better punchline and constructive criticism
Under new TSA guidelines, airports in the US
Will only be allowed to sell plane chocolate.
I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes
My doctor says it’s terminal
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes
My doctor says it terminal
I have this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes.
My doctor says it’s terminal.
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.
My doctor says it's terminal.
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes
my doctor says it's terminal
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.
The doctor says it's terminal.
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes
The doctor says it's terminal
The John Lennon Airport has been quarantined
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