I have been diagnosed with a rare condition that makes me think I'm an airport building.

I hope it's not terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes

My doctor says it’s terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 268
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/christiescrubbs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
I would tell you guys a joke about weather at an airport

But it wouldn’t takeoff

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AWMINPUBG
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Amusing hangar outside HOU airport
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jade-blade
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What type of flour is sold at airports?

Plain

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tome869
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Someone has collapsed on the luggage carousel at Heathrow Airport today

Medics at the scene have said " they are coming round slowly "

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/2canVANdam
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I suddenly realized I was going through the airport turnstile sideways, but it was too late...

I was going to Bangkok.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FelizMendelssohn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the Jewish pilot refuse to land at the airport?

Because it was Passover

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thelummx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I caught the flu at an airport once.

It was a terminal illness.

(Special thanks to my dog's friend's dad for this one)

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PKE95
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
The best place to hide something is at an airport

You'd be hiding something in plane site.

πŸ‘︎ 100
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/redneckvet
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandson’s dad joke ( very proud grandfather) What kind of chips do you get at the airport?

Plane chips!

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yanual3d
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw Bill Gates at the airport today
πŸ‘︎ 94
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/recursivelybetter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are airport farts the best farts?

They're duty free!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mootmutemoat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel, and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.

It was ....the worst case scenario.

πŸ‘︎ 935
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.

The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/karanrime
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Haha_Lostboys18
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Seeing Airport Security confiscate all of my smuggled sausages out of my luggage...

...Really was the Wurst Case Scenario

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm starting a business in airports selling bags with the faces of Sid James, Hattie Jacques, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey and Joan Sims on them.

It'll be called "Carry On Baggage".

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport?

Re:LAX

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Raptavis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
So my airports fell in the toilet

Now the audio is shit

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Junkr4t
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I sued the airport authorities because they misplaced my belongings

I lost the case

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/off-sp
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
They’ve locked down Liverpool John Lennon Airport and all the passengers are trapped inside

Imagine, all the people...

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I was diagnosed with a condition where I can't stop making airport jokes.

The doctor said it was terminal

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Popular333
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a friend who kept telling airport jokes as he got sicker and sicker from Covid-19

He eventually died. I guess the condition was terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I was waiting for my wife at the airport, when I saw that she was ringing me.

I picked it up and she said sorrowfully, "I didn't make the plane."

"That's fine, honey," I replied. "You know nothing about construction."

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve been diagnosed with a terrible disease that makes me tell an abundance of airport jokes...

The doctor says it’s terminal

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kippergills
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Heathrow airport
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jolly_Jr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that John Lennon airport went into quarantine earlier?

Imagine all the people.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jukajoj
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently, if the Coronavirus outbreak gets worse, they might have to cancel all the flights in and out of John Lennon airport.

Imagine all the people.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jr1477
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
There’s a guy in a European airport, and he sees a man carrying a ten foot metal pole. He asks the guy, β€œAre you a pole vaulter?”

The man says, β€œActually, I’m German, but how did you know my name is Walter?”

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/J3ST3RR
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you fall sick at an airport?

Terminal Illness

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Uzitha
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
A man caught a deadly virus while waiting for his flight at the airport

He's terminal ill

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Feddny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I walked into a airport

I thought of making up a joke on the fly but decided not to just incase it didn't land right

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/declandrury
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Saw the damnedest thing at the airport. A vulture was trying to board the plane with a dead, rotting animal hanging out of its mouth. Gate agent tried to stop him...

...and the vulture said, "I'm clearly permitted one piece of carrion luggage."

πŸ‘︎ 86
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theposshow
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a man walking through an airport holding a basketball...

Must’ve been traveling.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moosesurgeon12
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes

My doctor says it’s terminal

πŸ‘︎ 18k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/schiggy182
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.

I think it may be terminal

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes

My doctor says it terminal

πŸ‘︎ 363
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/torrenter_11
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I have this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes.

My doctor says it’s terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/s_tormbringr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.

My doctor says it's terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.

The doctor says it's terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes

my doctor says it's terminal

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/growupyall
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes

The doctor says it's terminal

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bgreenwood95
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
The John Lennon Airport has been quarantined

Imagine all the people

πŸ‘︎ 105
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.