I have been diagnosed with a rare condition that makes me think I'm an airport building.
I hope it's not terminal.
π︎ 40
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︎ May 01 2021
Iβve got this awful disease where I canβt stop telling airport jokes
My doctor says itβs terminal.
π︎ 268
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︎ Feb 27 2021
I would tell you guys a joke about weather at an airport
But it wouldnβt takeoff
π︎ 3
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︎ Apr 30 2021
Amusing hangar outside HOU airport
π︎ 8
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︎ Mar 07 2021
What type of flour is sold at airports?
π︎ 64
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︎ Feb 13 2021
Someone has collapsed on the luggage carousel at Heathrow Airport today
Medics at the scene have said " they are coming round slowly "
π︎ 8
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︎ Mar 02 2021
I suddenly realized I was going through the airport turnstile sideways, but it was too late...
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 02 2021
Why did the Jewish pilot refuse to land at the airport?
π︎ 19
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︎ Feb 05 2021
I caught the flu at an airport once.
It was a terminal illness.
(Special thanks to my dog's friend's dad for this one)
π︎ 17
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︎ Dec 14 2020
The best place to hide something is at an airport
You'd be hiding something in plane site.
π︎ 100
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︎ Sep 12 2020
My grandsonβs dad joke ( very proud grandfather) What kind of chips do you get at the airport?
π︎ 40
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︎ Sep 05 2020
I saw Bill Gates at the airport today
π︎ 94
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︎ Jul 05 2020
Why are airport farts the best farts?
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 01 2020
I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel, and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.
It was ....the worst case scenario.
π︎ 935
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︎ Mar 28 2020
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 29 2020
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
π︎ 15
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︎ Aug 06 2020
Seeing Airport Security confiscate all of my smuggled sausages out of my luggage...
...Really was the Wurst Case Scenario
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 09 2020
I'm starting a business in airports selling bags with the faces of Sid James, Hattie Jacques, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey and Joan Sims on them.
It'll be called "Carry On Baggage".
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 11 2020
How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport?
π︎ 10
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︎ Jul 27 2020
So my airports fell in the toilet
π︎ 5
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︎ May 21 2020
I sued the airport authorities because they misplaced my belongings
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 04 2020
Theyβve locked down Liverpool John Lennon Airport and all the passengers are trapped inside
Imagine, all the people...
π︎ 25
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︎ Jul 13 2020
I was diagnosed with a condition where I can't stop making airport jokes.
The doctor said it was terminal
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jun 22 2020
I had a friend who kept telling airport jokes as he got sicker and sicker from Covid-19
He eventually died. I guess the condition was terminal.
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 08 2020
I was waiting for my wife at the airport, when I saw that she was ringing me.
I picked it up and she said sorrowfully, "I didn't make the plane."
"That's fine, honey," I replied. "You know nothing about construction."
π︎ 44
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︎ Apr 25 2020
Iβve been diagnosed with a terrible disease that makes me tell an abundance of airport jokes...
The doctor says itβs terminal
π︎ 43
π
︎ May 08 2020
Heathrow airport
π︎ 17
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︎ Apr 14 2020
Did you hear that John Lennon airport went into quarantine earlier?
π︎ 18
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︎ Mar 18 2020
Apparently, if the Coronavirus outbreak gets worse, they might have to cancel all the flights in and out of John Lennon airport.
π︎ 12
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︎ Mar 05 2020
Thereβs a guy in a European airport, and he sees a man carrying a ten foot metal pole. He asks the guy, βAre you a pole vaulter?β
The man says, βActually, Iβm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?β
π︎ 13
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︎ Apr 03 2020
What do you get when you fall sick at an airport?
π︎ 52
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︎ Dec 08 2019
A man caught a deadly virus while waiting for his flight at the airport
π︎ 4
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︎ Apr 21 2020
I walked into a airport
I thought of making up a joke on the fly but decided not to just incase it didn't land right
π︎ 4
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︎ Apr 06 2020
Saw the damnedest thing at the airport. A vulture was trying to board the plane with a dead, rotting animal hanging out of its mouth. Gate agent tried to stop him...
...and the vulture said, "I'm clearly permitted one piece of carrion luggage."
π︎ 86
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︎ Oct 10 2019
I saw a man walking through an airport holding a basketball...
Mustβve been traveling.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Oct 04 2019
Iβve got this awful disease where I canβt stop telling airport jokes
My doctor says itβs terminal
π︎ 18k
π
︎ Sep 04 2020
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.
I think it may be terminal
π︎ 33
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes
My doctor says it terminal
π︎ 363
π
︎ Aug 23 2020
I have this awful disease where I canβt stop telling airport jokes.
My doctor says itβs terminal.
π︎ 46
π
︎ Aug 23 2020
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.
My doctor says it's terminal.
π︎ 92
π
︎ Aug 22 2020
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.
The doctor says it's terminal.
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Aug 21 2019
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes
my doctor says it's terminal
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 28 2020
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes
The doctor says it's terminal
π︎ 9k
π
︎ May 13 2019
The John Lennon Airport has been quarantined
π︎ 105
π
︎ Feb 29 2020
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