Today marks the 77th anniversary that my grandfather was responsible for bringing down 4 German bombers in one day during the war

He was the worst mechanic the luftwaffe ever had

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2canVANdam
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
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Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies ?

Everywhere.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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If you want to know what it's like to be a suicide bomber?

You can C4 yourself.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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I recently did a joke about a suicide bomber not having a return ticket

and it bombed

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/listeningSaint
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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Man, suicide bombers must be dying to kill people
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/readyff
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
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What do you call an amazing suicide bomber?

Dead.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustSauce457
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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Have you heard the story about the suicide bomber?

It'll blow your mind.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Izen023
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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A mad bomber walks into a bar . . .

He lit the fuse on his bomb and the bartender sprayed him with water from the soda-gun, dousing the bomb and putting out the fuse. The bartender said, β€œI foiled your plan mad bomber now get out before I call the cops!!” The mad bomber re-fused.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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Where do suicide bombers go after they die?

Everywhere!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
When the suicide bomber discovered that he can detonate bombs with his phone, his mind was blown...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotatokingXII
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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What do you call an ejaculating suicide bomber?

A cumikaze

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrDolphinrider
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2016
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What did the Hawaiian suicide bomber yell before he blew himself up?

Aloha Snackbar!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_solidwarp_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2017
🚨︎ report
Stealth bomber flies over the Rose Bowl...

... huh. I didn't see that coming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NegativeCool1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2016
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I don't agree with suicide bombers.

They don't have a leg to stand on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greenmeat3
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2015
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If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", then shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced…

"BOOM?!"

πŸ‘︎ 555
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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β€œBack in my day, terrorists used to...”

β€œOkay, bomber.”

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattBatz1991
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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Saw a jacket I really liked at the store, but forgot my wallet at home.

Its a bomber.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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TSA made the woman in front of me throw out her sushi.

I commended them on their valiant efforts to stop a potential SUSHIcide bomber!

Turns out they don't like jokes about that. :(

πŸ‘︎ 136
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πŸ‘€︎ u/teedoubleyew
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2015
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Punrelenting word play at the Rose Parade

New Year's Day... The start of a fresh 365 sunrises that symbolize a turning point in lifestyle and spending the entire day recovering from a dreadful hangover. Like many other people in America, this relatively fake holiday is a time that I spend with my family. One of my family's many traditions (alongside annihilating plates of buffalo wings and watching college football until we pass out on the couch) is watching the Rose Parade. At the very beginning of the event, before all of the flower-covered floats and high school bands came marching down the street, there was an introductory ceremony complete with a B-2 stealth bomber flyover. As soon as they passed by, zooming out of the camera's frame, my dad leans in closer to me and says "Well I sure didn't see that coming!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MinisculePeen
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2015
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Got my (to-be) mother in law today

My nephew was playing with his Mr. Potatohead and he throws his body parts about the room (he's 2)

Her: Looks like Mr. Potatohead became a suicide bomber.

Me: I know his last words.

Her: What?

Me: Au gratin ackbar.

I'll be here all week

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ejgamer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2015
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked the receptionists at the medical lab today

It's cloudy with no rain today, and when I got to the lab in the basement, here's what happened.

Receptionist: Has the sun come out yet today?

Me: No, not yet. But I did see an old bomber and two fighters for the D-Day anniversary.

Nurse passing by: Where were they?

Me: In the sky, where else?

*cue laughter and one "he sure got you good" from the receptionists*

Mission accomplished.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2014
🚨︎ report
Got my friends watching the College football playoffs the other day

Friend: Oh that's so cool they have a stealth bomber flying in.

Me: Where I don't see it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tactical_Nick
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2015
🚨︎ report
Where does a suicide bomber go on his final mission?

Everywhere

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
🚨︎ report

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