My grandpa's "triple pun"

This joke holds a special place in my heart. My grandpa told me it and I never forgot it. About 2 years later when I brought it up to him, he didn't remember it. So I told him the joke and he peed himself laughing ... At his own joke.

"Why did the man ask for his eggs Benedict to be served on a hubcap?"

"Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise"

πŸ‘︎ 166
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JAM3SBND
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My triple pun Halloween costume deserves the triple crown.
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DinosaurLegs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Triple Black Panther Pun
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Awesam114
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
Arthur the Assassin indicted for a cheap triple murder at local grocery store.

Headline: "Artie chokes three for a dollar at the A&P."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
That's a triple
πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stantse2
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Oh baby a triple
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tenth_Doctor_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
A Triple Crown Winner?

Affirmed!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
So today my dad says he needs a triple knee replacement...

β€œMy left knee, my right knee, and my wee-nie”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/carolina_fireball
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Got a triple facepalm with this one

Was closing at the restaurant I worked at, when someone started breaking down the iced tea station. While checking if any tables were drinking it, she asked "Tim, do you need tea?"

Before he could respond, I said "of course he does. Without it, he'd be Im.

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2015
🚨︎ report
Dad, how did you know American Pharoah was going to win the Triple Crown?

I studied the Gallup Polls

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whiplash1911
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2015
🚨︎ report
So I have a snifter glass of clipped basil leaves on my desk as a piece of decoration...

And my dad looks at it and goes, "It's a small bouquet in every sense of the word! Triple pun, hoo baby!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trepwn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2013
🚨︎ report
Why did the ghost blush when it looked inside the beehive?

It saw some boo-bees

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Swanbrother
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09
🚨︎ report
My bouncy castle has almost tripled in value since I bought it

It’s just another product of inflation

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MJspringer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you read the book batteries not included by:

Ray Ovac?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
🚨︎ report
I'll bee damned
πŸ‘︎ 584
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blazinfastjohny
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
It All
πŸ‘︎ 23k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I accidentally swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles.

My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WaltsTwoCents
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Road side Assistance

If you have a problem with your car and need road side assistance in the United States you can call triple A. If you need help in Canada you can also call triple eh.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/diapered247at24
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife found out I was cheating on her, after she found all the letters I was hiding...

She got so mad and said she's never playing Scrabble with me again...

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2017
🚨︎ report
Eye roll
πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Manny-Hatz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Orion's Belt is a huge waist of space.

Terrible joke, only 3 stars.

Edit: I've been told there is a triple star system and a binary pair so it may be 6 star joke

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Memelord2131
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2017
🚨︎ report
Double pun
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/powellwi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend wanted to go to a botanical garden in the mountains

I rose to the occasion.

πŸ‘︎ 660
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2017
🚨︎ report
If hippos went to brain surgery school. Would they be on a hippocampus?
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lucidus_somniorum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Can't wait for the other ninjas to see my new nunchuks vignette1.wikia.nocookie.…
πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/survivingLettuce
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2016
🚨︎ report
Just got my wife at the Target

So I just had surgery and one of my restrictions is that I can't lift anything heavier than 20 lbs. Was at the Target today with the wife to return a lamp that she had purchased but then decided she didn't like. She parked the SUV and I opened the back to carry the lamp on the store. She said "What are you doing? You aren't supposed to lift anything!" I replied, "But it's light!"

Got the triple whammy. The groan, eye roll, and disgusted walk away from me and into the store. Had to carry the lamp, but it was worth it.

πŸ‘︎ 352
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Charles_Foxtrot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2015
🚨︎ report
Which athletes keep the warmest in the winter?

The Triple-Jumpers

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RandyChristmas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2017
🚨︎ report
Bacon Puns

Why didn’t the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!


Whats green and smells like bacon? Β Kermit the Frog’s finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?


Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.


Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Β Kevin Bacon


If you can’t get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries


Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? A1: Frankenswine A2: Hamlet Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.


Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.


What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.


Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon. What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.


What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Showed my dad the Tesla car launch...

His response was "I hope they don't break down, I don't think triple A covers space."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BAM5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2018
🚨︎ report
My coworker brought in his dad in to tour the new office.

"Hi, I'm Stan, and this is Triple Stan."

My coworker's name is Tristan.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IcySlurpee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2016
🚨︎ report
Invest in yeast

It's rising.

  • my great grandfather
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/some_kid6
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2014
🚨︎ report
The Tale of Hobbin & Noggin

One day a farmer's mare birthed two foals. One was named Hobbin, and the other Noggin. The two horses grew up and loved to race each other. One day the farmer noticed the two racing each other around the pasture and thought to himself, "Wow! These horses are quick!" So the next day he entered them into a local derby. As the race was about to start, the horses were rearing and snorting to get let out of the gate. As soon as the gates swung open, both horses immediately bolted to the front of the race as the announcer was going wild, "It's Hobbin-Noggin, Noggin-Hobbin, Hobbin-Noggin, Noggin-Hobbin, Hobbin-Noggin, and Hobbin wins by a nose!" Excited by the win, the farmer then enters them into the Kentucky Derby. Once again, as soon as the gates open, both horses fly to the front of the race and it's Hobbin-Noggin, Noggin-Hobbin, Hobbin-Noggin, Noggin-Hobbin and again, Hobbin wins by a nose. This continues in every race until Hobbin has won the Triple Crown. By this point the farmer is be

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Umkazto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2013
🚨︎ report
Copped this classic April fools prank from dad this morning.

Bursts into room

"QUICK GET UP YOU'RE LATE FOR SCHOOL!"

"Yeah yeah, April fools, you got me."

"Haha, damn, thought i'd be able to scare you"

I had forgotten to set my alarm last night, it was 9am and i was actually late for school. My respect for my dad at least tripled today.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/owchies
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad asked me about my education

Dad: Can you double major?

Me: I already am a double major

Dad: Can you triple major?

Me: No, that's not allowed.

Dad: Can you colonel?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhySoCuriousSir
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2015
🚨︎ report
I asked my dad why the style of beer was called double bock.....

He replied, because single bock wasn't enough and triple bock was too much.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mygingersoul
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2015
🚨︎ report
Radio dad joke.

Listening to Triple J (Australian music radio station) and witnessed this dad joke (probably not the exact words):

When you wear bacon thongs, you get rashers.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Furah
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2015
🚨︎ report
Final Fantasy X

My friend was playing FFX last night and came upon the Triple Foul sphere for Wakka. Neither of us could remember, off the tops of our heads, what it did. That was when I said, 'Triple Foul? Pheasant, chicken, and duck?'

GROANS ALL AROUND

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rodeohno
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.