This joke holds a special place in my heart. My grandpa told me it and I never forgot it. About 2 years later when I brought it up to him, he didn't remember it. So I told him the joke and he peed himself laughing ... At his own joke.
"Why did the man ask for his eggs Benedict to be served on a hubcap?"
"Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise"
Headline: "Artie chokes three for a dollar at the A&P."
“My left knee, my right knee, and my wee-nie”
Was closing at the restaurant I worked at, when someone started breaking down the iced tea station. While checking if any tables were drinking it, she asked "Tim, do you need tea?"
Before he could respond, I said "of course he does. Without it, he'd be Im.
I studied the Gallup Polls
And my dad looks at it and goes, "It's a small bouquet in every sense of the word! Triple pun, hoo baby!"
It saw some boo-bees
It’s just another product of inflation
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
If you have a problem with your car and need road side assistance in the United States you can call triple A. If you need help in Canada you can also call triple eh.
She got so mad and said she's never playing Scrabble with me again...
Terrible joke, only 3 stars.
Edit: I've been told there is a triple star system and a binary pair so it may be 6 star joke
I rose to the occasion.
So I just had surgery and one of my restrictions is that I can't lift anything heavier than 20 lbs. Was at the Target today with the wife to return a lamp that she had purchased but then decided she didn't like. She parked the SUV and I opened the back to carry the lamp on the store. She said "What are you doing? You aren't supposed to lift anything!" I replied, "But it's light!"
Got the triple whammy. The groan, eye roll, and disgusted walk away from me and into the store. Had to carry the lamp, but it was worth it.
Why didn’t the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!
Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog’s finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Kevin Bacon
If you can’t get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? A1: Frankenswine A2: Hamlet Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon. What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History... keep reading on reddit ➡
His response was "I hope they don't break down, I don't think triple A covers space."
"Hi, I'm Stan, and this is Triple Stan."
My coworker's name is Tristan.
One day a farmer's mare birthed two foals. One was named Hobbin, and the other Noggin. The two horses grew up and loved to race each other. One day the farmer noticed the two racing each other around the pasture and thought to himself, "Wow! These horses are quick!" So the next day he entered them into a local derby. As the race was about to start, the horses were rearing and snorting to get let out of the gate. As soon as the gates swung open, both horses immediately bolted to the front of the race as the announcer was going wild, "It's Hobbin-Noggin, Noggin-Hobbin, Hobbin-Noggin, Noggin-Hobbin, Hobbin-Noggin, and Hobbin wins by a nose!" Excited by the win, the farmer then enters them into the Kentucky Derby. Once again, as soon as the gates open, both horses fly to the front of the race and it's Hobbin-Noggin, Noggin-Hobbin, Hobbin-Noggin, Noggin-Hobbin and again, Hobbin wins by a nose. This continues in every race until Hobbin has won the Triple Crown. By this point the farmer is be... keep reading on reddit ➡
Bursts into room
"QUICK GET UP YOU'RE LATE FOR SCHOOL!"
"Yeah yeah, April fools, you got me."
"Haha, damn, thought i'd be able to scare you"
I had forgotten to set my alarm last night, it was 9am and i was actually late for school. My respect for my dad at least tripled today.
Dad: Can you double major?
Me: I already am a double major
Dad: Can you triple major?
Me: No, that's not allowed.
Dad: Can you colonel?
He replied, because single bock wasn't enough and triple bock was too much.
Listening to Triple J (Australian music radio station) and witnessed this dad joke (probably not the exact words):
When you wear bacon thongs, you get rashers.