Double Puns

To me this was the moment I knew my girlfriend was a pun master.

Going to the kitchen to grab some more food, my girlfriend happened to be standing there. As a was scooping seconds of dinner she said something and I said one second.. She said "no seconds" as the scoop hit the plate and the words left my mouth.. Two puns at once! I was impressed and amazed needed to post it.

Playing soccer with my 8 year old brother (I'm sortve like an uncle to him) when he then says his eye is hurting.

Me: Really are you okay?

Him: Yeah it's alright. It happens sometimes when I'm reading and i can't make out the words.

Me: (thinking he may have dyslexia) Oh really, what happens to the words when you try to read them?

Him: I can't read them. Sometimes words just moosh together, like "they" and "are" become one word, it's weird.

Me: Maybe you just have conjunctivitis!

XD

(Then had to explain what "conjunctivitis" and a "conjunction" is - still a win in my books)

So he gives it to her.

They’re great at range

He was as famous for his barrage of punches as he was for his rhyming taunts before a big match.

The called him the Jabberwookie.

So he gave her one

It’s considered a Vin nyet.

It’s literally the blind leading the blind.

...but I couldn't pass cowculus.

I said, "You did not." She glares at me, "Yes I did." Me, "You did knot." She grudgingly accepts reality and stomps away, head shaking.

I guess you can call them Japa-knees

Because the chicken was on its wrong side.

As a sole provider they'll likely get you something that's laced.

From the back of the room a Physics professor said, "Yeah, yeah."

But my god, it’s so hard!

The fairy of relativity.

I can just never think of anything else to finish them off with

It was two triggered.

they cost an arm and a leg

Now I can crunch numbers AND numb crunchers.

Hold it in front of a mirror

First she hit the roof, then the light, then the roof again.

Skipper of course.

Dad: W

a BOING 747

A book mark.