But I have no idea how to tell if a lemon is in a relationship or not
He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.
He earned the nickname “the machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.
And the day he retired a reporter asked him “How does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”
Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. “What do you mean?” He said.
The reporter clarified “literally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”
Hugh looked dejected and disappointed “yeah, my greatest failure...”
“What do you mean?” Said the reporter incre... keep reading on reddit ➡
He painted loads of them
...that only happens once in a blue moon.
She responded, “ because you are ugly!”
And it makes it easier to slam the door and run so I don’t have to pay for dinner.
But I don’t see what’s wrong with being a cereal monogamist.
Yes my horse is a Mustang and it mustang somewhere!
That's alot of information to swallow.
He was absolutely delighted.
Just not in the right order!
We are in a very serious relationship.
Because they were all married but you
Then I started listening to full albums, and hardly ever left my room.
They're all married with children.....
A chill pill.
She was giving my niece (3) and nephew (6) a bath. When they were done, the kids used their towels as capes and were running around naked yelling 'we are super heroes!!' My sister responded with, 'I don't think think there are any naked superheroes... Except maybe The Flash.'
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 0.
I guess I'm just looking for love in all the wrong paces.
“Because you’re ugly.”
Apparently I’ve been looking for love in Alderaan places.
I think he wanted s'more.
A receding hare line.
He kept missing his punchlines.
"No, I just shook my head."
This phenomenon is known as many paws
Either working together or working to get her
It was a shit zoo.
Apparently he's been looking for love in Alderaan places.
It's a good thing I'm married...
"Look at this faux-giraffe"
They're my 9 to 5.
In my opinion we should beat the shit out of constipated people because:
Laxatives are an unhealthy way of dealing with feces. On the other hand, beating the shit out of someone is a good way to practice sports activities like, running, grip strength, punching techniques etc.
Other methods of dealing with feces take alot of money. Laxatives aren't cheap in our flawed healthcare system! On the other hand, there are people that are willing to pay you to beat the shit out of you. By using this method you can become richer and deal with your shitty problems.
Constipation requires being in the bathroom for a long time. This can be very lonely for the people involved. However, beating the shit out of others can be done in any place. Your home, the local park, or even the shady street corner! Not only that it's a very social activity, requiring a minimum of at least 2 people, but usually done in groups of 2-5 people.
Although some people might say, that beating the shit o... keep reading on reddit ➡
They never ate an undercooked bat.
Looking for good clean fun!