I guess nobody Reddit.
Which was really strange, since I'd thought that I had left her at home looking after the kids.
But I have no idea how to tell if a lemon is in a relationship or not
State-of-the-Ark technology
Now that I listen to full albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
A trophy!!!
He was sailing on the seven C’s
Age 6 they were separated in a successful 13hr surgery. Later in life they went to prison for armed robbery. They served 10yrs. Afterwards they wrote their book about being ex-con joined twins.
He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.
He earned the nickname “the machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.
And the day he retired a reporter asked him “How does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”
Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. “What do you mean?” He said.
The reporter clarified “literally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”
Hugh looked dejected and disappointed “yeah, my greatest failure...”
“What do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.
Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.
“I’ve been aiming left this whole time”
I guess I'm suffering from 'stalk home' syndrome.
Happiness comes from drugs, not relationships.
He painted loads of them
“...cereal killer.”
She responded, “ because you are ugly!”
...that only happens once in a blue moon.
But I don’t see what’s wrong with being a cereal monogamist.
Yes my horse is a Mustang and it mustang somewhere!
That's alot of information to swallow.
He was absolutely delighted.
Just not in the right order!
We are in a very serious relationship.
Because they were all married but you
Then I started listening to full albums, and hardly ever left my room.
They're all married with children.....
A chill pill.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 0.
She was giving my niece (3) and nephew (6) a bath. When they were done, the kids used their towels as capes and were running around naked yelling 'we are super heroes!!' My sister responded with, 'I don't think think there are any naked superheroes... Except maybe The Flash.'
I guess I'm just looking for love in all the wrong paces.
Apparently I’ve been looking for love in Alderaan places.
“Because you’re ugly.”
A receding hare line.
I think he wanted s'more.
He kept missing his punchlines.
"Slayer?"
"No, I just shook my head."
This phenomenon is known as many paws
It was a shit zoo.
Apparently I’ve been looking for love in Alderaan places.
Apparently he's been looking for love in Alderaan places.
