Single Day Puns

Diddly Squats

A night watchman

Every single day, someone, somewhere, takes the largest poop in the entire world for that day... and they will never ever know what they've achieved. 🥲

I've been looking for love in Alderaan places

Eye dew.

Would that be a Guinness Guinness record?

Me: "Cause now I can only think of you every couple days."

I guess nobody Reddit.

I wouldn't know. I only fall in love at night and wake up single.

Being single my whole life is exhausting

He forgot to curry the one.

I guess I'm suffering from 'stalk home' syndrome.

But I don’t see what’s wrong with being a cereal monogamist.

http://imgur.com/a/o07Da

EDIT: Yes, she texts him back don't worry. These texts are saved on her phone, replies are not.

And the married ones, too.

I think that will help me a lot in the long run.

(Usually either Nestle or Captain)

It must have been a lonely sole.

Sorry if this is a repost, I just made this joke when I found a single abandoned shoe on the road.

I remind everyone it's the dentist's favourite time.

It was a Shih Tzu.

Me: "Dad, I am going to take a shower."

Dad: "Why don't you ever leave one for everyone else?"

Me "What's up?" Dad "The ceiling!"

Dad explodes with laughter

Apparently I’ve been looking for love in Alderaan places.

Apparently I’ve been looking for love in Alderaan places.

This is your day too. Now brush up on some #dadjokes!