I didn't exactly ace my "capture the wasp" exam.

I got a bee.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Ace cosmic horror! v.redd.it/289ceuwzwfx51
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NicoSaraintaris
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2020
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Guys, I have a question. Me and a friend are arguing about the setting of the Ace Attorney games.

He keeps telling me its LA, but its gotta be Phoenix, right?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SilverStoneX1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2020
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Did you know the Ace of Base lead singer was also a mathematician?

She saw the sine.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
If A is for Ace and B is for Box then what is C for?

Plastic explosives

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PilotDave3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 04 2020
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Ace Tempura: Chef Perspective
πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tygerohtyger
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2019
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Competitor of Ace Institute of Management be like: Don't be an Acehole!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/saujanyanepal
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2019
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My daughter asked me to bring her an ace bandage...
πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/coreycarter4288
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 22 2019
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I was about to play cards after a long day’s work, but I found the aces missing.

I just can’t deal with this any more.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2018
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If Ace Ventura was a dad...
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SquireMav
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2013
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Goose was never going to make it as an ace pilot anyway....

He hit a glass ceiling.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GreatCrambino
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that every member of Ace of Base died in a horrible car accident?

They didn’t see the sign.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Buckpizza
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2018
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This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour

She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mrcheckpointeh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 13 2019
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My boss told me to stop making Ace Ventura references.

I said alrighty then.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OxTailPheonix
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09 2018
🚨︎ report
PGA Tour: Baddeley's (almost) Ace on a par 4 imgur.com/RjGgEsT
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TylerFortierPhoto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 27 2015
🚨︎ report
"I heard Ace Ventura was a white nationalist. Wait, he's not? Oh. Well...

alt righty then!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/joshuatx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2016
🚨︎ report
Not to brag, bit I aced the recent drug test at work today

Nobody got higher than me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/humoursly_weird
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 07 2021
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Got an idea for a movie about an old lady who's into poker and knitting...

Gonna call it Scarf-Ace

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NunYaBizzNas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 05 2021
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I have evidence that Robin Hood is aromantic and asexual.

He's an arrow ace.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RoyalRaven14
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
When the moon hits your eye, Like a big pizza pie, That's amore.

When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.

When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.

When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?

When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?

When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!

In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.

Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.

A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.

When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.

When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 682
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ComeAbout
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Which card in a deck can fix your dog?

The King of Spade.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Funny-Promise956
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 08 2020
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I aced my test on my knowledge of cheese

It was a brie-ze

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aparks1437
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
When asexual become lawyers they're

Ace attorney's

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/igotloggedoutbyredit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 24 2020
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What did Trump say when he got his Covid results back?

I aced it!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the pasta sauce that was really good at knocking down pins?

It was a bowlin’ ace.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CMoy1980
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 07 2020
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Did you hear about the pilot who aced his final exams in college?

He winged it!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zxcv437
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2016
🚨︎ report
It's quite hard to beat a toilet at poker...

It always has a flush.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 54
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Upsidedownsquidhead
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
The bad news is I broke my leg

The good news is I aced my IHOP interview

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/scooby_dyver
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I can’t go to the hardware store,

My doctor has prescribed me an ace inhibitor for my blood pressure

This was from a conversation my wife and I had yesterday. She asked me why I always go to Lowe’s instead of the local hardware store seeing as I’m all about supporting local businesses. I told her it’s because I take lisinopril and it’s an ace inhibitor.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tondropper186
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I was teaching my son to play the piano. He played the Am chord for me.

It was ACE!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nine-Nation-Navy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Interesting food names

Chris P. Cream

Chris P. Bacon

Pete Zah

Barbie Q.

Q. Cumber

Okra Winfrey

Tom A. Tow

Zach N. Cheese

Drew Brie's

May N. Ace

Tuna Turner

Drew Berry

Parma Shawn

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Escalade1414
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I've just started knitting for the Mafia

They call me Scarf Ace

πŸ‘οΈŽ 51
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/feathersoft
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pilot made of shovels?

An Ace of Spades.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Chockaday12
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29 2019
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Instead of cards, they made me pass out nickels when we played poker.

But I don't deal well with change.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zenpod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26 2018
🚨︎ report
My time in the mafia served me well

I got so good with scarves, they started calling me scarf ace.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Uglyoldbob
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the tennis teacher mad at his student?

He caught him raising a racket.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/StevenBosc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 11 2018
🚨︎ report
I am become shovel, destroyer of public property
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/conditackler
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know Al Pacino is awesome at crochet.....

.....he's a real scarf ace.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Just talking to me dad about the tennis

Me: β€œHe was really good, he had like 30 aces”

Dad: β€œwell he must of been cheating then... there’s not that many in a pack of cards”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/classicmattyt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a magician's favorite song?

Ace of Spades by Motorhead

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jonnyboy1189
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I like to combine words like hay and maze to mayze

But when I swap for aces of spades, I'm trading Spaces

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/maxxbreaker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bison with a great poker face?

A Bluffolo

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dbcaliman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 17 2017
🚨︎ report
Which playing cards are the best dancers?

The King and Queen of clubs.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/oppy1984
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2017
🚨︎ report
I aced my drug test yesterday at work.

Nobody got higher than me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I think I aced the drug test at work today.

Nobody got higher than me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 64
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report

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