Ace cosmic horror! v.redd.it/289ceuwzwfx51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NicoSaraintaris
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Guys, I have a question. Me and a friend are arguing about the setting of the Ace Attorney games.

He keeps telling me its LA, but its gotta be Phoenix, right?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SilverStoneX1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Did you know the Ace of Base lead singer was also a mathematician?

She saw the sine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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If A is for Ace and B is for Box then what is C for?

Plastic explosives

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PilotDave3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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Ace Tempura: Chef Perspective
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tygerohtyger
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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Competitor of Ace Institute of Management be like: Don't be an Acehole!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saujanyanepal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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My daughter asked me to bring her an ace bandage...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coreycarter4288
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
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I was about to play cards after a long day’s work, but I found the aces missing.

I just can’t deal with this any more.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
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Goose was never going to make it as an ace pilot anyway....

He hit a glass ceiling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreatCrambino
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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If Ace Ventura was a dad...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquireMav
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2013
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This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour

She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrcheckpointeh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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Did you hear that every member of Ace of Base died in a horrible car accident?

They didn’t see the sign.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buckpizza
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
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My boss told me to stop making Ace Ventura references.

I said alrighty then.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OxTailPheonix
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
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"I heard Ace Ventura was a white nationalist. Wait, he's not? Oh. Well...

alt righty then!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshuatx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2016
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PGA Tour: Baddeley's (almost) Ace on a par 4 imgur.com/RjGgEsT
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TylerFortierPhoto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2015
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I think I aced the drug test at work today.

Nobody got higher than me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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Which card in a deck can fix your dog?

The King of Spade.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Funny-Promise956
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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When the moon hits your eye, Like a big pizza pie, That's amore.

When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.

When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.

When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?

When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?

When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!

In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.

Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.

A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.

When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.

When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ComeAbout
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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What did Trump say when he got his Covid results back?

I aced it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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When asexual become lawyers they're

Ace attorney's

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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I aced my test on my knowledge of cheese

It was a brie-ze

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aparks1437
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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Did you hear about the pasta sauce that was really good at knocking down pins?

It was a bowlin’ ace.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CMoy1980
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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The bad news is I broke my leg

The good news is I aced my IHOP interview

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scooby_dyver
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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I can’t go to the hardware store,

My doctor has prescribed me an ace inhibitor for my blood pressure

This was from a conversation my wife and I had yesterday. She asked me why I always go to Lowe’s instead of the local hardware store seeing as I’m all about supporting local businesses. I told her it’s because I take lisinopril and it’s an ace inhibitor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tondropper186
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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It's quite hard to beat a toilet at poker...

It always has a flush.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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I was teaching my son to play the piano. He played the Am chord for me.

It was ACE!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nine-Nation-Navy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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Did you hear about the pilot who aced his final exams in college?

He winged it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zxcv437
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2016
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Interesting food names

Chris P. Cream

Chris P. Bacon

Pete Zah

Barbie Q.

Q. Cumber

Okra Winfrey

Tom A. Tow

Zach N. Cheese

Drew Brie's

May N. Ace

Tuna Turner

Drew Berry

Parma Shawn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Escalade1414
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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What do you call a pilot made of shovels?

An Ace of Spades.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chockaday12
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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My time in the mafia served me well

I got so good with scarves, they started calling me scarf ace.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uglyoldbob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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I've just started knitting for the Mafia

They call me Scarf Ace

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πŸ‘€︎ u/feathersoft
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
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Instead of cards, they made me pass out nickels when we played poker.

But I don't deal well with change.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zenpod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
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Just talking to me dad about the tennis

Me: β€œHe was really good, he had like 30 aces”

Dad: β€œwell he must of been cheating then... there’s not that many in a pack of cards”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/classicmattyt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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Did you know Al Pacino is awesome at crochet.....

.....he's a real scarf ace.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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Why was the tennis teacher mad at his student?

He caught him raising a racket.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StevenBosc
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
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I am become shovel, destroyer of public property
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πŸ‘€︎ u/conditackler
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2018
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I like to combine words like hay and maze to mayze

But when I swap for aces of spades, I'm trading Spaces

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maxxbreaker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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What do you call a bison with a great poker face?

A Bluffolo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dbcaliman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2017
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Why didn't the lumberjack come to work today?

Because he's s-pine was acing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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Which playing cards are the best dancers?

The King and Queen of clubs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oppy1984
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2017
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Dad joked my classmate in physics.

Her: Ugh, I feel like this quiz is going to cover a lot of material...

Me: Really? I thought the only material it would cover is whatever this desk is made of!

Her: ...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zomgz0mbie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2014
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I really hope Phoenix Wright is asexual.

Then he'll really be an ace attorney.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/micronerd01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2015
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My best friend just made a better dad joke than I could ever hope to...

Firstly, it should be noted that she's a total klutz. She's fallen off her longboard and sprained her ankle(s) multiple times in the past few months. So, I was talking to her earlier today as she was walking to Walgreens to pick up an Ace bandage. When I asked why, she said she twisted her ankle walking home from work. I then said "Damn, your ankles can't catch a break, can they?", to which she replied "Well, I think I'd be in more trouble if they did."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roguespectre67
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2016
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