What do you call an old explosive expert?

A BOOMer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JayFlitz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04
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What do you call an expert at dad jokes?

A master of pun fu

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06
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People Who Are Expert Fishers Are Also Master Baiters
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xoyamec69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
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Experts have confirmed that bowling is officially the quietest sport.

You can hear a pin drop, after all.

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πŸ“…︎ May 05
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Experts warn that all this social distancing is causing a lot of stress, anxiety, and depression.

The Flat Earth Society is especially worried. They think their members might be driven over the edge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ May 12
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You'll definitely need an expert for that
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ELZEKO_gamer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
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Driving past a farm, I said to the kids, "Those are expert horses..."

"... They're out standing in their field."

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kuzinrob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
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What does a martial arts expert drink?

Kara-tea

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
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I met this rich, easy-going fingerprints expert.

"Wow," I thought to myself, "This is really a man of the whorl."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaderosegrey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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Y'all acting like overclocking is an expert thing
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sonujohny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
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Why are mobsters expert at chopping down trees?

Because they're goodfellers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
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What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?

Bruce Leaf.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tommyboy3111
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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Sorry if this breaks the rules but, please cheer up my dad! He's a punctuation expert who is recovering from surgery. He just had half of his lower digestive system removed. It would really cheer him up if you could comment with his favorite punctuation mark:

;

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/edhere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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Calamari fishing expert

My friend, Ming Kuo, is an expert at fishing for calamari. We call him "Squid Pro Kuo!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuanTu34
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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What do you call a denim expert?

A jeanius.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flyingfishtaco
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
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What do you call a cat litter expert?

A cat litterate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tightheadband
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
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Pun experts, I need your help

I want to change my IGN to something that includes puns. right now I came up with "PunKneeShare" which I think is not that original nor good. what are your suggestions?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Awesome_Arsam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
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Today on the bus I sat next to a man who was an expert on fungal organisms. The whole time he was talking to me all I could think was...

That is not a fungi.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/talesOfTheNow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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Did you know a lot of drug addicts are experts in geology?

They’re called stoners for a reason, you know.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mastercore8112
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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I watch the History Channel a lot. I’ve become an expert, actually. Ask me anything,

about American Pickers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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I used to be an expert in the Dunning-Kruger effect.

Then I started to learn more about it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
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What is a ballistics experts favorite snack?

Chips and glockamole

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πŸ‘€︎ u/caddycoup
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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Genghis Khan and his soldiers were experts in haircuts and shaving.

They were a barberic tribe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
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If one is an expert in tying knots,

One does knot simply.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
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What do you call a dinosaur with expert taste on a subject?

A connoi-saurus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/113CandleMagic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2018
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If you're looking for an expert on small, endangered Indonesian buffalo...

Anoa guy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gtbishop83
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
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After years of research, experts finally determined the leading cause of dry skin:

Towels.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackMcCracken
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2017
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Did you hear what the demolitions expert did to his competition at the poop-joke-making contest?

He wrecked 'em.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bathroom_Pninja
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2017
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If someone around you is an expert in deception,...

... I think that's a super duper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AfterShaadows
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2018
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I became a world renowned expert on cold weather.

And it only took 2 degrees to do it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Domthehuman1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2017
🚨︎ report
Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, is taking a stroll down his local high street. As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye. "Just Released - New LP - Wasps of the World & the sounds that they make - available now"

Unable to resist the temptation, Brian goes into the shop. "I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window."

"Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I'll put the LP on for you."

Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps, goes into the booth and puts on the earphones.

Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, "I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognized none of those."

"I'm sorry Sir," says the young assistant. "If you'd care to step into the booth, I can let you have another 10 minutes."

Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds they make, steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head. "I don't understand it," he

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
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The experts said my smoke alarms were too old...

..but they still work just fine. I think they are just being alarmists.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Kars
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2017
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What do they call dog experts?

Dogtors

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2017
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A sculpture of an expert art critic could be considered an artificial art official
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shoelessdrummer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2015
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[x-post /r/jokes] What do you call an expert at making ship parts?

A master master.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/piefacepro
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2015
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At The UPS Store we're called the pack and ship experts

But i prefer professional boxer

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skatrumpet07
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2015
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What's is an expert?

Somebody who used to be called Robert

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/grapp
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2016
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My dad, the weather expert

During a phone call with my dad today, we got to talking about a recent hailstorm.

"Did you know that before Europeans arrived, there was never any baseball-sized hail in America?" he asked me.

"Really? Why's that?" I answered, thinking that there was some interesting meteorological explanation forthcoming.

"Well, there were no baseballs around to compare hailstones to."

Damn it, Pop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mambeu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2014
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The blind demolitions expert.

He had a hard time committing suicide because he couldn't C4 himself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noncynsickle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2011
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Dad joke level: Expert

Dad to me: "Your mom just said normal twice in one sentence, does that make it a paranormal?"

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2015
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My girlfriend the social media expert.

Girlfriend: I really want to hit 200 followers!

Me: Well that's more than a little violent!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PicklePillz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2014
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I am taking notes from and expert.

A family comes into the store. The daughter walks up to the malts, which are called f'reals, and says "I'm going to have one of these."

The dad responds with, "F'real? That's what you are going to get?"

The mom looks at her daughter and says, "Ugh, don't listen to him."

EDIT- Shout out to the spelling in the title.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/121ashton
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2015
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My father is a nature expert.

Me: Why do crickets all chirp at the same tempo? Dad: It's a gang thing.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2014
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My dad is something of a medical expert in the family

"Looks like she has a canarial disease."

A what, Dad? Canarial disease?

"Yep. No tweetment."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeanOnFire
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2013
🚨︎ report

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