A master of pun fu
You can hear a pin drop, after all.
The Flat Earth Society is especially worried. They think their members might be driven over the edge.
"... They're out standing in their field."
"Wow," I thought to myself, "This is really a man of the whorl."
Because they're goodfellers.
My friend, Ming Kuo, is an expert at fishing for calamari. We call him "Squid Pro Kuo!"
A cat litterate
I want to change my IGN to something that includes puns. right now I came up with "PunKneeShare" which I think is not that original nor good. what are your suggestions?
That is not a fungi.
They’re called stoners for a reason, you know.
about American Pickers.
Then I started to learn more about it.
Chips and glockamole
They were a barberic tribe.
One does knot simply.
He wrecked 'em.
... I think that's a super duper.
And it only took 2 degrees to do it.
Unable to resist the temptation, Brian goes into the shop. "I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window."
"Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I'll put the LP on for you."
Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps, goes into the booth and puts on the earphones.
Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, "I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognized none of those."
"I'm sorry Sir," says the young assistant. "If you'd care to step into the booth, I can let you have another 10 minutes."
Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds they make, steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head. "I don't understand it," he... keep reading on reddit ➡
..but they still work just fine. I think they are just being alarmists.
A master master.
But i prefer professional boxer
During a phone call with my dad today, we got to talking about a recent hailstorm.
"Did you know that before Europeans arrived, there was never any baseball-sized hail in America?" he asked me.
"Really? Why's that?" I answered, thinking that there was some interesting meteorological explanation forthcoming.
"Well, there were no baseballs around to compare hailstones to."
Damn it, Pop.
He had a hard time committing suicide because he couldn't C4 himself.
Dad to me: "Your mom just said normal twice in one sentence, does that make it a paranormal?"
Girlfriend: I really want to hit 200 followers!
Me: Well that's more than a little violent!
A family comes into the store. The daughter walks up to the malts, which are called f'reals, and says "I'm going to have one of these."
The dad responds with, "F'real? That's what you are going to get?"
The mom looks at her daughter and says, "Ugh, don't listen to him."
EDIT- Shout out to the spelling in the title.
Me: Why do crickets all chirp at the same tempo? Dad: It's a gang thing.