I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
I call him Dr. Awkward.
Most don't even make the cut.
He was an investi-gator.
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
His repair-toire
I try not to cake it personally.
Can you LEGO an egg Gogh?
When my wife came home yesterday afternoon to find the kitchen and living room a mess, the laundry still in a pile by the washer and me on the couch having done nothing but eat chips and watch TV all afternoon.
She shook her finger at me, "You better watch this lazy attitude you've had lately, mister, or you're gonna to make me do something I'll regret!"
"Wow," I thought, "I can't believe I'm going to get a bj out of this."
Talon shows
He really keeps me on my toes.
She said our relationship wasn't going anywhere
Edit : She just packed her bag and right
Tenfold
Do you think Sir Lancelot was good at jousting? Or just really liked it.
I planted myself on the sofa at the beginning of April and I've grown bigger ever since
The grape. He was the only one who went raisin.
It's called - Hairy Potter.
That's just mean.
A share riff.
Me grammar sucks and i is imaginary.
http://imgur.com/p8zGyin
It's catching.
I was driving people bananas.
Thyme management
They knead it
Horning
I mean, screw that noise.
"Let me show you how to make an egg roll, son."
Picks an egg
"Take an egg, put it on the table, and just push it!"
I'm a military vet!
I really need to hone them.
It was A Major task but I can only C Minor improvement.
"Thanks" I said "I kneaded that"
She wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.
I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
It's called "Hairy Potter".
She said “urinate”
Really don't understand why he told me to urinate on a skeleton.
