I have a friend with no social skills and a Ph.D in the history of palindromes.
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10." But what I still don’t get is why...
She wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.
I've been told my baking skills are horrible.
I try not to cake it personally.
How could you describe a group of chess grandmasters bragging about their skills in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
What do you call a handyman's skill set?
Vincent Van Gogh’s son was a LEGO master. As a test of his skill he was asked...
Can you LEGO an egg Gogh?
Where do birds go to show off their skills?
Domestic Skills
When my wife came home yesterday afternoon to find the kitchen and living room a mess, the laundry still in a pile by the washer and me on the couch having done nothing but eat chips and watch TV all afternoon.
She shook her finger at me, "You better watch this lazy attitude you've had lately, mister, or you're gonna to make me do something I'll regret!"
"Wow," I thought, "I can't believe I'm going to get a bj out of this."
My 7-year old son constantly insists that I use my ballet skills around the house...
He really keeps me on my toes.
I remarried, and my new wife is pissed because of my poor navigation skills
She said our relationship wasn't going anywhere
Edit : She just packed her bag and right
The knights of the round table all had a unique set of skills
Do you think Sir Lancelot was good at jousting? Or just really liked it.
During lockdown my origami skills have improved...
Those brother in law pun skills
Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have ?
I planted myself on the sofa at the beginning of April and I've grown bigger ever since
Three fruits decided to have a dragrace match. The Lemon prepared by practcing driving skills, the orange by studying the appropriate tecniques, the grape by relaxing in the sun. Who won?
The grape. He was the only one who went raisin.
Not my first pun but second pun here. Don't WINE about my Photoshop skills.
Just watched a great documentary on Netflix regarding Chewbacca's porcelain skills...
It's called - Hairy Potter.
My English skills and mental health need improvement, but my math skills are fine.
Me grammar sucks and i is imaginary.
What do you call a member of law enforcement who likes to show people his skills on the Guitar?
Those brother in law pun skills
Have you heard about the disease named after a baseball skill?
My boss said my math skills are average.
What do I call it when you're working on honing your sexual skills?
I told my mom to teach my kids her skills in making bread and pasta from scratch
My magnum opus. Even though the Photoshop skills are something quite atrocious. (Pic)
I used my carpentry skills to fix a creaky stair.
I mean, screw that noise.
My door to door fruit delivery business failed terribly because of my horrible interpersonal skills.
I was driving people bananas.
I brought my skills learned in the army to my new job, working to fix animals...
My skills at sharpening my knives are atrophying...
I really need to hone them.
You're no match for my smash skills
I wanted to impress my friends, so I learned how to improve my guitar skills.
It was A Major task but I can only C Minor improvement.
What skill does a herb farmer need to perfect?
Dad teaching me culinary skills.
"Let me show you how to make an egg roll, son."
Picks an egg
"Take an egg, put it on the table, and just push it!"
I'm quite insecure about my home baking skills, though people kept complimenting me on my home made bread.
"Thanks" I said "I kneaded that"
Making external auditory sensors for automobiles is an employable skill
You can make a car ear doing it
His pun skills are top notch
What do you call a green onion with mad rhyme skills?
Chalk it up to my artistic skill
My wife was filling out a skill testing question using my back as a table.
She was have trouble with the question so she just googled the answer and wrote it down.
I told her that I was leaving her.
Why she asked me.
I told you I would leave you if you ever cheated on me.
What's the difference between someone who bought a house and someone who practices their electrician skills?
One's a home owner and the other's an ohm honer.
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.”
I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
Just saw the new Netflix documentary about Chewbacca's porcelain skills...
It's called "Hairy Potter".
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.”
I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
I asked my wife what she thought of my peeing skills, on a scale of 1-10...
I asked my friend to rate my listening skills and he said, "You're an 8 on a scale of 10"
Really don't understand why he told me to urinate on a skeleton.
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