Craft Puns

A list of puns related to "Craft"

Dwayne Johnson paid me to clean up and organize his craft room, but sadly, I lost his scrapbook cutting tool.

I lost the Rock’s paper scissors.

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👤︎ u/dasbett311
📅︎ Jun 12 2020
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Hobby club couldn’t agree on this week’s craft.

Some selfishly thought minecraft was better than yarncraft.

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👤︎ u/VeryOriginalName98
📅︎ Sep 24 2020
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Police have reported a man going into a local craft store and dipping his testicles in glitter

It's pretty nuts if you ask me!

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👤︎ u/Demonazzzz
📅︎ Apr 06 2020
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I just had the most manly craft beer at my Israeli restaurant.

It was called He-Brew.

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👤︎ u/proborc
📅︎ Dec 02 2019
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How does a chiropractor improve their craft?

Chiropractice.

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👤︎ u/JohnDough39
📅︎ Dec 09 2019
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.

Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

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👤︎ u/tekprojekt
📅︎ Jul 09 2019
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The local cobbler realized that canvas was a better material to craft shoes out of

His opinion was suede

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👤︎ u/ACoolDude_
📅︎ Nov 13 2019
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Wanna know why I started trying out fabric arts and crafts?

I felt like it.

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👤︎ u/Wontonio_the_ninja
📅︎ Jul 29 2019
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My wife and were walking through an Arts and Crafts store and we saw a sign that says, “Glue Sticks.”

I said to her, “No shit.”

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Oct 13 2018
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Word on the street is that their is a man running around all the craft stores dipping his scrotum in the glitter

It's pretty nuts

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👤︎ u/DatWoodenSp00n
📅︎ Nov 28 2018
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What craft does a coal miner take?

Minecraft

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👤︎ u/Ash_Holes
📅︎ Apr 11 2019
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New York Post: "How Patriots owner Robert Craft could get off in prostitution case"

Didn't he already?

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👤︎ u/Rookie_Z
📅︎ Feb 28 2019
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Did you hear about the murder in the arts and crafts store?

it was gluesome.

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👤︎ u/pm_steam_keys_plz
📅︎ Jan 30 2019
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There is an ice sculptor showing off his craft with a group of people standing around watching. One man steps forward and says...

Nice

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👤︎ u/baldy74
📅︎ Nov 19 2018
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I went to the craft store, and got a new neon-colored marker.

It was the highlight of my whole day, actually.

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👤︎ u/breakone9r
📅︎ Apr 17 2018
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What did the arts and crafts store offer to people with celiac disease?

A glue 10 free coupon

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👤︎ u/i_iz_smrt
📅︎ Jul 04 2017
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Where do ultra conservative Muslims go to buy trinkets, crafts, and home goods?

Wahhabi Lobby

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👤︎ u/GeorgieWashington
📅︎ May 23 2017
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When I drink, I verbally craft Slovak folk heroes that I can't remember the next morning.

My mouth writes Czechs that my body can't cache.

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👤︎ u/TheBrontosaurus
📅︎ Jan 21 2017
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Today, the kids were making some Christmas crafts. My dad presses one of those plastic googly eyes into my palm, leans in close and says..

".. I'm keeping my eye on you."

I freaking love that guy.

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👤︎ u/wizard7926
📅︎ Dec 03 2017
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A fireworks display is nothing but an arson crafts show.
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👤︎ u/jefuchs
📅︎ Mar 05 2016
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Heard this gem today at a craft store with my fiancée

We were looking for twine or something in the yarn section and this dad walks by with his two daughters, gives a huge yawn, and says, "WOW! That was a huge yarn" and then began to start chuckling uncontrollably.

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👤︎ u/wsmith27
📅︎ Jan 12 2014
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Fiance got me good while doing arts & crafts. One day he'll make a great dad.

We're getting married in less than 2 weeks and I was cutting out paper hearts for our flower girl to throw. The hearts are made out of music paper and newspaper (representing the careers we're in).

Once we had finished cutting, the fiance picks up a newspaper we had cut some hearts out of and examines it closely.

He turns to me and very seriously says, "You know, this story has a lot of holes in it."

Cue groan and begrudging chuckle. I think I picked a keeper.

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👤︎ u/bachrock37
📅︎ Jul 24 2014
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Girlfriend got me at a craft show

We were looking at a pottery stand, there was a sign that sighs "Pick me up" in front of a dish.

She picks up the sign, looks at my guiltily and starts giggling.

Good god.

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👤︎ u/Aiomon
📅︎ Nov 20 2015
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New craft beer

Dad: Son, I have come up with a new craft beer recipe.

Son: Really, Dad? That's cool. What makes it different?

Dad: Oh, it requires rabbits.

Son: Rabbits???

Dad: Yes. I need them for the hops.

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👤︎ u/onecrazy88fan
📅︎ May 16 2015
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The craft store is selling tiny wood coffins for Hallowe'en decorations.

I took one to my girlfriend, went down to one knee, presented the little black casket. I said, "Jamie, would you bury me?"

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👤︎ u/NobodyWhatsoever
📅︎ Oct 02 2015
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Honing My Craft

After getting back from a long weekend getaway, my wife was trying to get some ice out of the freezer, but it was all stuck together.

Her: Babe? Can you break up the ice?

Me (leaning my head into the freezer): So... what do you do for a living?

Her: What? ... Ohhhhh...

I grinned and self-high-fived.

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👤︎ u/grousing_pheasant
📅︎ Apr 21 2014
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Dedication to the craft

Found this one on /r/comics

http://www.cheerupemokid.com/comic/closet

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👤︎ u/SirSoliloquy
📅︎ Dec 11 2013
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People have reported a man going into local craft stores and dipping his testicles into glitter,

It’s pretty nuts

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👤︎ u/Pale_Society
📅︎ Jul 19 2019
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft...

Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

👍︎ 1k
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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ Nov 30 2016
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Police Have arrested a man for going to craft stores and dipping his testicles in the glitter

It's pretty nuts.

👍︎ 18
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👤︎ u/DemonMango
📅︎ May 20 2019
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Police have reported a man going into local craft stores and dipping his testicles in glitter.

It's pretty nuts.

👍︎ 35
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👤︎ u/tekprojekt
📅︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Police have reported a man going into local craft stores and dipping his testicles in glitter

It's pretty nuts

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/mrcheckpointeh
📅︎ Jan 24 2019
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Police are on the lookout for a man who is dipping his testicles into glitter at a craft store

It's pretty nuts

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/RymNumeroUno
📅︎ Nov 28 2018
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank

Proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Nov 25 2018
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Police have reported a man going into local craft stores dipping his testicles in glitter. It's pretty nuts.

Police have reported a man going into local craft stores dipping his testicles in glitter. It's pretty nuts.

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👤︎ u/jeepmojo
📅︎ Nov 24 2018
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