She's named Cardi O'Vascular.
I was like what are you some kinda meaty urologist?
He was hackin' in a coffin.
they both study Kidneys (kid knees)
I'm a medical transportation coordinator and have spent too much time listening to medical terminology. Help me.
She stood me up.
It was so cornea.
That's my Mployment record.
it gave me paws
I asked him how he got into it and he said by accident.
If so, i am definitely the pro-to-call
..."I could really go for an aural massage right now" I said.
I didn't realize I'd spoken aloud until I felt everyone silently staring at me.
Dad: "Better not forget about it then!" (laughs a bit too much)
They don't like a hierarchy handing down Civic duties.
His name is Howie snippem. Specialist in Circumcisions. He works for tips.
The plot revolves around an MD whose patients all have unusual symptoms and need to be seen by a specialist.
Working title: REFER MADNESS
I asked one of the workers what display was supposed to be at the empty table next to theirs; I knew the worker was a dad because he replied:
"It was supposed to be a BDSM Safety table, but none of them could make it...I guess they were all tied up."
They were specialists in ground control.
Accounts Payable Administrator_______________Imelda Czechs
Accounts Payable Clerk, Moscow Office__________Dasha Chekhov
Air-Quality Monitor _________________________Carmine Dioxide
Caffeine Addiction Counselor__________________Bruno Moore
Chief Legal Counsel_________________________ Hugh Louis Dewey of Dewey, Cheetham & Howe
Cliche Monitor_____________________________Saul Wellingood
Clothing Designer__________________________Hugh Jass
Credit Counselor___________________________Max Stout
Director of Purchasing_______________________Lois Bidder
Director of Pavlovian Research________________Isabelle Ringing
Divorce Attorney___________________________Carmine Nottyors
Dog Trainer_______________________________Don Chase Katz
Ebay Specialist____________________________Selma Junkoff
Head of Security___________________________Barb Dwyer
Global Economics Forecaster_________________Helena Handbasket
The supportive friend: "U-K?"
The advice friend: thinland
The personal trainer: Core-ia
And the health specialist: Germ-any.
Feel free to add more.
I've got work experience at an vet eye specialist clinic, and I want to be thoroughly stacked up on bad puns. Any ideas fellow dads?
My wife is 8 weeks pregnant with our first (twins, actually). Today we had an ultrasound to check on them before my wife is officially transferred from the fertility specialist to her OB/GYN.
Nurse: Both heartbeats are a healthy 144.
Nurse: What?.... Oh. (nervous laugh)
Me: (ear-to-ear grin)
Some of my family was watching the Bachelorette the other night and they were introducing some of the contestants and what their jobs are. One of the contestants was an erectile dysfunction specialist.
"Well that doesn't sound like a very hard job"
I cracked up at myself.
Call out specialist Avogadro at 602-1023
He went to his doctor, who referred him to an eye specialist. They performed every test possible, but found nothing wrong with his eye. Since the pain was still persistent, he showed a number of specialists, had every test done on him, consulted quacks, and all to no result. He still felt excruciating pain whenever he had tea. Finally, he decides to visit an old sage. The sage sits him down and pours him some tea. As soon as he takes a sip, he feels the pain again. The sage sets his own cup on the table, and quietly says "Next time you drink tea, remember to remove the spoon from the cup."
Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.
While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).
I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)
The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun... keep reading on reddit ➡
My family has hired an tree specialist to take care of and old and rotten tree in our yard.
Me: So the tree lady will be here at 11:00 tomorrow.
Sister: OK, but when will she leaf?