What did the lab technician say to the inventory specialist who showed up for a drug test?

We need UP, C?

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📅︎ Aug 10
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Did anyone know that Cardi B had an Irish cousin who is a lung/heart specialist?

She's named Cardi O'Vascular.

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📅︎ Apr 28
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I had to go to a specialist to check out my bladder. The guy I saw was frickin jacked and kept warning me not to forget an umbrella.

I was like what are you some kinda meaty urologist?

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👤︎ u/WheelyMac
📅︎ Mar 14
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Did you hear about the Goth computer security specialist?

He was hackin' in a coffin.

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👤︎ u/superceder
📅︎ Dec 26 2019
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What do you call an eye specialist with a short shirt?

A crop-toptometrist

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📅︎ Oct 17 2019
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What kind of specialist does an egotistical person go to?

An I doctor

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📅︎ Oct 04 2019
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Where do communist IT specialists live?

Commrooms.

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👤︎ u/Dockie27
📅︎ Apr 08 2019
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Why is a Nephrologist like a Pediatric Orthopedic Specialist?

they both study Kidneys (kid knees)

I'm a medical transportation coordinator and have spent too much time listening to medical terminology. Help me.

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📅︎ Feb 13 2019
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Had a date with a posture specialist..

She stood me up.

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👤︎ u/bermobaron
📅︎ Mar 10 2019
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An eye specialist once told me a joke

It was so cornea.

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📅︎ Apr 21 2019
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In my life I've been a maintenance mechanic, a make-up artist, a media director, a mender, a metre inspector, a microcomputer support specialist, a mill helper, a mirror installer, a music librarian and a mortician investigator.

That's my Mployment record.

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Feb 17 2019
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I was so surprised to learn that there was a such thing as a pet amputation specialist....

it gave me paws

👍︎ 180
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📅︎ Jul 21 2017
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What would the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles call Master Splinter if they had become brake specialists instead of ninjas?

Master Cylinder

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👤︎ u/Fubarfrank
📅︎ Apr 15 2018
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A factory worker got his arm caught in some machinery, severing it just below the wrist. Unable to work, and with no income, he knew he had to see a prosthetic specialist as soon as possible.
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👤︎ u/janus10
📅︎ Jan 04 2018
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Took my car to a local dent repair specialist...

I asked him how he got into it and he said by accident.

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👤︎ u/jfzastrow
📅︎ Jan 06 2017
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Anybody need a Network TCP/IP Specialist?

If so, i am definitely the pro-to-call

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📅︎ May 17 2013
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Teacher mentioned specialist who would massage one's aura in a lecture on holistic medicine...

..."I could really go for an aural massage right now" I said.

I didn't realize I'd spoken aloud until I felt everyone silently staring at me.

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👤︎ u/djtossaway
📅︎ Jan 09 2017
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Granny: I've got an appointment with the memory specialist on Thursday

Dad: "Better not forget about it then!" (laughs a bit too much)

Granny: "Ha"

Me: facepalms

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👤︎ u/sweatyface
📅︎ Apr 03 2016
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Anarchists would find difficulty working at Honda specialists.

They don't like a hierarchy handing down Civic duties.

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👤︎ u/tuba_man
📅︎ Feb 23 2015
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