"You're a pizza sheet"
To me this was the moment I knew my girlfriend was a pun master.
Going to the kitchen to grab some more food, my girlfriend happened to be standing there. As a was scooping seconds of dinner she said something and I said one second.. She said "no seconds" as the scoop hit the plate and the words left my mouth.. Two puns at once! I was impressed and amazed needed to post it.
Playing soccer with my 8 year old brother (I'm sortve like an uncle to him) when he then says his eye is hurting.
Me: Really are you okay?
Him: Yeah it's alright. It happens sometimes when I'm reading and i can't make out the words.
Me: (thinking he may have dyslexia) Oh really, what happens to the words when you try to read them?
Him: I can't read them. Sometimes words just moosh together, like "they" and "are" become one word, it's weird.
Me: Maybe you just have conjunctivitis!
XD
(Then had to explain what "conjunctivitis" and a "conjunction" is - still a win in my books)
So he gave it to her.
It cost me an arm and a leg!
He got toad.
It was worth it though... That club was hopping.
I had one that cost me an arm and a leg
He called me eight eyes.
What’s Irish and stays out all night?
Paddy O’Furniture.
How do you know an Irishman is having fun?
He’s Dublin over with laughter!
😂😂😂🥁☘️🇮🇪🌈💰 #doubledose #irishcarbombs #dailydadjokes #luckycharms #rimshot #kneeslapper #stpattysday2021 #luckoftheirish #greenbeer #march17th
Happy St Paddy’s Day everyone!
Double negatives are a real no-no.
He said, “I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know...”
They’re great at range
He was as famous for his barrage of punches as he was for his rhyming taunts before a big match.
The called him the Jabberwookie.
So he gave her one
I said, "You did not." She glares at me, "Yes I did." Me, "You did knot." She grudgingly accepts reality and stomps away, head shaking.
It’s considered a Vin nyet.
It’s literally the blind leading the blind.
...but I couldn't pass cowculus.
As a sole provider they'll likely get you something that's laced.
I guess you can call them Japa-knees
Because the chicken was on its wrong side.
From the back of the room a Physics professor said, "Yeah, yeah."
But my god, it’s so hard!
The fairy of relativity.
I can just never think of anything else to finish them off with
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To see the idiot.
...
Knock Knock
Who's there?
The chicken.
It was two triggered.
Now I can crunch numbers AND numb crunchers.
So he gives it to her.
they cost an arm and a leg
