Anna I. Anna II. Anna I, II, III.
MumFord and Sons , in theatres this December.
He was hoping to cut out the middle man.
Eventually, my plan went on in full swing.
A nurse comes up to the first man and says, “Congratulations! You are the proud father of a pair of twins!”
“That’s funny...” the man said, “I work for Twin Peaks!”
Another nurse comes into the room and goes to the second man and says, “Congratulations! Your wife has just given birth to triplets!”
“That’s funny...” the second man said, “ I work for the 3M company!”
Yet another nurse comes into the room and says to the third man, “Congratulations! Your wife has just given birth to quadruplets!”
“That’s so funny...” said the third man, “I work at the Four Seasons Hotel!”
The last man is groaning and whining in obvious agony, “What’s wrong?” the other men ask.
“I work at Seven Eleven.” He replied.
Happy Fathers Day!
There were three fathers to be in a hospital waiting room, waiting for their babies to be born.
The first nurse comes out and tells the first father, "Congratulations you're the father of twins!" He says, “Great! I am the manager for the Minnesota Twins.”
The second nurse comes out and tells the second father, "Congratulations you're the father of triplets”! He says, "That's cool! I work for 3M."
The third father opens the window and jumps out.
The third nurse comes out, and asks, “Where's the third father?"
One of the other fathers said, "Oh he jumped out the window.”
The nurse asks, "Why?"
He replied, "He works for Seven Up!"
and the other Dupli-kate
Anna one, Anna two...
Anna 1, Anna 2.
Why are windshield wipers so good at basketball? They always get swishes. Why are doctors good at basketball? They make shots. Why are mothers of triplets good at basketball? They can make 3s. Why are software engineers good at basketball ball? They can make screens. Why are pilots bad at basketball? They always travel. Why are roosters bad at basketball? They fowl.
"No, they're triplets. I just leave the ugly one at home."
One of the funniest school puns; science puns
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”
Did you just mutate for a stop codon? Because you’re talking nonsense!
How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.
What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics? Woopea!
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.
I wish I was adenine, then, I could get paired with U.
Anyone know any jokes about sodium? N... keep reading on reddit ➡
I'm a little embarassed about this. Here goes:
Playing with the triplets before bedtime, when two of them were asking Dad to be the horse.
Kids: Horse! Horse! Dad: Not tonight, guys. Me: Sorry kids, your dad said, "neigh."
I thought it was funny, which I believe is all that matters.