Each has a cigarette, but nothing to light it with.
So one man throws his cigarette into the water, and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
So now the full Oasis songbook is covered he's moved on to a new one.
They all said NOPE!
The odds were against me!
I thought it was a little far fetched.
It's OK though as my injuries are only super fish oil.
- People who can count
- People who canβt
The empire hikes back.
I kept them in the unstable
..and the 4th one ducks.
A length of freeway walked into a bar, and yelled out "I'm the meanest bit of road west of the Pesos, nobody wanna mess with me!"
Then some duplicated overpass walked into the bar. "Anybody think they're tough enough to take on this piece of transit infrastructure? Well, are ya?"
Finally a stretch of dual carriageway walked into the bar. "This bad boy is badder than all you weaklings, whaddya gonna do about it!"
As they were all glaring at each other in a Mexican standoff, some bicycle laneway walked into the bar, threw a chair out of the way and kicked over a table. "I'm the roughest, toughest, meanest, baddest piece of asphalt there is! You're all soft snowflakes! Ain't anyone who has the guts to take me on!"
The first three roadways all immediately turned to the bar and started meekly sipping their drinks, trying to look inconspicuous. The bartender asked them "What's the matter, are you going to let him get away with that? Why don't you stand up to him?"
"We aren't going to mess with him", they replied, "He's a real cycle path".
This week is my turn to face the screen.
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
Walk him and pitch to the elephant.
My parents are both older.
A "Ο"thon
.. at that point I was beyond Karen.
I'm okay though.....it was just a super fish oil wound.
It may not sound like much, but thats a lot of colouring.
Turns out, he only does odd jobs.
Coldilocks
Having a small party for my guitar and music obsessed soon-to-be 3 year old. Wanted to put some signs next to the food to make it more on-theme. Weβll be serving:
Chicken nuggets PB&Js (in the shape of guitars) Veggie tray Fruit tray Water & juice
Iβm struggling to think of stuff. So far I only have Nirvana Nuggets (which I realize isnβt even a pun) and PB&J Richie Samboraches. Lame, I know π Help me out if you can think of any more!
Those are the pie rates of the caribbean.
Chicago.
Solid, liquid and gas
You can say she's a "Corned-Beef" now
Earth: Yes.
Mars: Thatβs pathetic.
Earth: At least I have more than you.
Mars: Stop being so salty.
Wonkey.
Lena could not leave them on the side of the road so they scooped the babies up and put them in the car. As they drove the baby skunks managed to make their way from the floor up Lena's dress and settled on her lap. Lena looked at Ole and said "the skunks are under my dress". Ole said "Zat's OK dear zey are settled down". Lena said "Vhat about the smell?". Ole said, "Oh, don't worry dear they will get used to it!"
Donβt mind him. Heβs just a product of their times.
Luckily the injuries are only super fish oil
Those who can count and those who cannot.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
The pie rates of the Caribbean.
These are the Pie rates of the Caribbean
Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
