What do you call the journey to find someone who can talk without moving their lips?

A ventriloquest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuriouslySentient
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2021
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Some fruit told me about the amazing journey they had

It was Pear-ilous!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AurumEatHam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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We get fed up of long car journeys...

...meanwhile, lorry drivers get fed ex.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbew_Mot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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A rock star's Journey

A number of years ago I was in a rock band. We were hugely successful, playing some of the biggest venues and entertaining swarms of fans.

The last shoes we ever played were on our world tour. We played the Americas and then flew over to Europe. We played our way through Russia and even a couple of gigs in China, before selling out our final show in Japan.

It was a hell of a Journey, but it was time for me to hang up my guitar. I retired from the rock star life and got an office job in Tokyo.

I made a few friends at work, and grew close with one in particular, Narada-san. One day Narada had the day off for a funeral, but that wasn't enough; he needed more time. He was torn between his obligation to return to work and his desire to have more time at home. He asked me what he should do.

The answer was simple. I picked up my guitar and played a Japanese version of our biggest hit from 1981:

Don't Stop Bereaving

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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My Journey

Iran all the way to Iraq just to Syria cook the Turkey

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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Did you hear about the doggo who went on a perilous journey?

He risked life and mlem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DesertWolf45
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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It was getting really hot in the journey, so I opened the window to let some air in.

I closed the window after a minute, and everyone disappeared from inside the space shuttle!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pakistani_pizza
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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Why did Jon Snow journey to the timepiece store?

For the watch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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Speaking to a friend: "My mother once told me, 'if you want to go further on your journey, you have to take that next step, no matter how daunting'." My friend piped up, "Don't you mean farther?" To which I replied:

"No, I'm fairly certain it was my mother."

Credit to B.C. (comic strip), most likely paraphrased since I read it many a moon ago, though I'm fairly certain the punchline is very close to the original.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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Did you know in which language was the movie "Journey to the center of the Earth" released first??

Core-on

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phs_uw
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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My mom was telling a sweet story about how a herd of elephants we're keeping a deceased calf with them on their Journey

Without missing a beat my dad goes "Why didn't they just keep him in the trunk.

I'm still laughing like a drunken seal.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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β€œYou don’t choose your journey; the journey chooses you” - Uber driver
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
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I was driving my German girlfriend around in my older banger, the heavy rain clattering against my windshield. As the journey went on, I realised that she has this really weird obsession with snakes.

She kept telling me that I need vipers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
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I Introduced A Friend to the band "Journey"

I told her that this band would take her on a trip.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nihiley_face
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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Merry and Pippin's journey wasn't all that easy...

...I heard they had a hard time making ents meet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spoon_of_doom
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2018
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A restaurant opened in my town called Journey...

They make your meal any way you want it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheG-What
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2015
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A quick journey into the merchandising genius of Hillary's campaign gift shop. [x-post from /u/JaroLink in /r/The_Donald] sli.mg/a/2aSZUr
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tellman1257
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2016
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Vasco de Balboa told the Queen of Spain, β€œI discovered a large body of water on my journey.”

She said, β€œCould you be a little more pacific?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2018
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I recently began my journey to becoming a vegetarian..

I quit cold turkey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slippinsideways
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2016
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