She is going on holiday to the carribean
Jamaica?
No she went of her own accord.
Why isn't the 24th of July a holiday?
Are we really expected to work 24/7?
Took my wife to the West Indies on Holiday a few years back
Jamaica?
No - she wanted to go.
Where does a cardiologist go on holiday?
What is an anesthesiologist's favorite holiday animal?
I told my suit cases just how There will be no holiday this year
I'm now dealing with emotional baggage
My wife's coming back from holiday tomorrow....
Does anyone know how to delete the memory from my memory foam mattress?
On big holidays, some people will demand the world of you.
Like a good friend, I only need your presents.
What’s a pet fish’s favorite holiday?
Tanksgiving
Credit: my 8 year old. I love her terrible jokes so much
Apparently, schools will now run from September right through till July with no holidays....
It's a long term solution.
My son kept chewing on all the electrical chords we had set up for the holidays, so I grounded him...
He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly...
What's Snoop Dogg's favorite holiday?
Christmas, of course. He loves a good wrap.
My holiday home neighbour planted a tall row of trees blocking my view.
Halloween is probably one of my more favorite holidays.
Easter and Valentine's Day are a couple other good cand-y-dates.
I was diagnosed with Dunlaps Disease shortly after feasting my way through the holiday season...
Yep, my belly dunlaps over my belt.
Holiday to-do list: 1) shoot the family 2) hang the kids 3) frame the wife
$129.95 at JC Penny Portrait and Framing Studio
With the holidays near, to set a festive atmosphere at your table, be sure you have a shiny chrome plate to hold your condiment sauce. Why?
Because there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
“Christopher Wreath” is back on my door and now the holidays can begin!
What's a cows favourite destination for a holiday ?
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
Have you heard Mariah Kleenex's big holiday single?
It's called "I Don't Want a Snot for Christmas"
2020 Puns for this years Holiday cards
So I am trying to think of something to put on our family’s Christmas card. The only thing I can think of is “hindsight is 2020”.
I am however 100% sure you amazing people can come up with something much better for this dumpster fire of a year.
Why is tinnitus a good guest for your holiday party?
It specializes in ringing in the new ear!
Shoutout to my coworker for coming up with half of this amazing joke
My one friend told me that even though I decorate the church for the holidays...
I probably shouldn't go around calling myself a proud cross dresser.
CDC just announced that due to COVID people over 5’5 shouldn’t be getting together for the holidays.
I guess only small gatherings are allowed.
My favorite holiday drink is the Little Drummer Boy...
It's one part rum, three parts pum.
(A favorite of mine from Tim Seidell)
Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?
Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?
There was noel
For some reason I always get sick during holidays.
I must have a weekend immune system...
What is a pirate’s favorite holiday decoration?
What’s a dog’s favorite holiday?
Halloween, because they’re always doing tricks for treats.
My wife said that our relationship is like a holiday.
No, wait, that’s not it. She said it was her last resort.
Where do Bees stay when they go on holiday? 🐝
Paddy and his wife are on holiday in England visiting Historical Sites.
"This is where the Magna Carta was signed," said the tour guide, "One the most important documents in English History."
"When was it signed?" asked Paddy.
"1215," said the tour guide.
"OH NO!" said Paddy, "We missed it by 10 minutes!"
What is Hercules' favorite holiday?
I told my suitcases just now there will be no holiday this year.
I'm now dealing with emotional baggage.
My wife's coming back from holiday tomorrow....
Does anyone know how to delete the memory from my memory foam mattress?
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