She is going on holiday to the carribean

Jamaica?

No she went of her own accord.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmethystMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Why isn't the 24th of July a holiday?

Are we really expected to work 24/7?

πŸ‘︎ 156
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notakat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Took my wife to the West Indies on Holiday a few years back

Jamaica?

No - she wanted to go.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adam_Gill_1965
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Where does a cardiologist go on holiday?

vagus

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lawsonator85
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What is an anesthesiologist's favorite holiday animal?

The ether bunny.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jj8o8
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I told my suit cases just how There will be no holiday this year

I'm now dealing with emotional baggage

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeytherealking
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife's coming back from holiday tomorrow....

Does anyone know how to delete the memory from my memory foam mattress?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
On big holidays, some people will demand the world of you.

Like a good friend, I only need your presents.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeyWhatsItToYa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s a pet fish’s favorite holiday?

Tanksgiving

Credit: my 8 year old. I love her terrible jokes so much

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beetlebath
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Apparently, schools will now run from September right through till July with no holidays....

It's a long term solution.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
🚨︎ report
My son kept chewing on all the electrical chords we had set up for the holidays, so I grounded him...

He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly...

πŸ‘︎ 114
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What's Snoop Dogg's favorite holiday?

Christmas, of course. He loves a good wrap.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
🚨︎ report
My holiday home neighbour planted a tall row of trees blocking my view.

Sun-off-a-bach!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOffbeatTurtle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Halloween is probably one of my more favorite holidays.

Easter and Valentine's Day are a couple other good cand-y-dates.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Venomenace
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I was diagnosed with Dunlaps Disease shortly after feasting my way through the holiday season...

Yep, my belly dunlaps over my belt.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Have a happy Holiday Season y’all reddit.com/gallery/k22bhw
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Jazzman_8
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Holiday to-do list: 1) shoot the family 2) hang the kids 3) frame the wife

$129.95 at JC Penny Portrait and Framing Studio

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sattoth
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
With the holidays near, to set a festive atmosphere at your table, be sure you have a shiny chrome plate to hold your condiment sauce. Why?

Because there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œChristopher Wreath” is back on my door and now the holidays can begin!
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thegeekofsteel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a cows favourite destination for a holiday ?

Moo Zealand.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?

"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coffa_cuppee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard Mariah Kleenex's big holiday single?

It's called "I Don't Want a Snot for Christmas"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bamugo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
2020 Puns for this years Holiday cards

So I am trying to think of something to put on our family’s Christmas card. The only thing I can think of is β€œhindsight is 2020”.

I am however 100% sure you amazing people can come up with something much better for this dumpster fire of a year.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shosh27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is tinnitus a good guest for your holiday party?

It specializes in ringing in the new ear!

Shoutout to my coworker for coming up with half of this amazing joke

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My one friend told me that even though I decorate the church for the holidays...

I probably shouldn't go around calling myself a proud cross dresser.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OranMilne
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Happy Holidays!
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mickeyslim
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
CDC just announced that due to COVID people over 5’5 shouldn’t be getting together for the holidays.

I guess only small gatherings are allowed.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BHarcade
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My favorite holiday drink is the Little Drummer Boy...

It's one part rum, three parts pum.

(A favorite of mine from Tim Seidell)

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/metermind
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?

Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?

There was noel

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
For some reason I always get sick during holidays.

I must have a weekend immune system...

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GAZUAG
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a pirate’s favorite holiday decoration?

GARR-land

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrPewpew
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s a dog’s favorite holiday?

Halloween, because they’re always doing tricks for treats.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MajicMan101
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife said that our relationship is like a holiday.

No, wait, that’s not it. She said it was her last resort.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rugsby84
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do Bees stay when they go on holiday? 🐝

Air Bee n Bee

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trendfoll
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Paddy and his wife are on holiday in England visiting Historical Sites.

"This is where the Magna Carta was signed," said the tour guide, "One the most important documents in English History."

"When was it signed?" asked Paddy.

"1215," said the tour guide.

"OH NO!" said Paddy, "We missed it by 10 minutes!"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What is Hercules' favorite holiday?

Labor Day

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ripster26
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my suitcases just now there will be no holiday this year.

I'm now dealing with emotional baggage.

πŸ‘︎ 506
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife's coming back from holiday tomorrow....

Does anyone know how to delete the memory from my memory foam mattress?

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report

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