I think it was stollen
I am Santa Claustrophobic
Because there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
Good Tie-dings to all men!
No-el no-L
She's really eiducated.
They’re for the festive period!
Dad: Yes, because of Covid.
Son: No fair!
Dad: That’s what I said.
And I must say, it made it rather in-tents.
He heard that the comics had the crowds cracking up
But it turns out to be quite light
It was the wurst.
They were outstanding in their field
"Dude, you want some of this Molly?"
"No thanks, I've got visitation rights for my kid this weekend."
"So?"
"So, I've already got my ex to see."
He didn’t care for it. Too much sax and violins.
Was at the Kanye (Yeezus) performance this weekend and he kept doing this thing where he would start playing a song then cut it off about five seconds in and rant about something. The third time this happened a guy behind me yelled "More like Teezus, am i right?"
I guess no one's above the ja ruul of law
He said, "Try not to catch Hogwarts".
Because the music was so lit
The King is in love with the Spanish Armada, in fact you could say he warships it.
I got into a fight with a group of jesters, I escaped by going for the juggler.
I recently read "Gulliver's Travels" it was a Swift read.
Have you read the book about traveling through hell? It's a Dante-ing read.
Q: How many animals can you fight into the Lord High Sheriff's tights? A: Ten piggies, two calves, a rooster and an ass.
Vikings raided the royal cheese supply, they left nothing behind but de Brie.
I met a wizard, I told him he looked like a mana action.
The unskilled mason forget to put a water supply in the new castle. He did not keep well.
The angry archer was so surly he had everyone convinced he was a cross bowman.
The failed stone cutter also lost his job as a bounty hunter. He could never find his quarry.
The nun kept spilling sacramental wine on herself. She made a bad habit of it.
The pope enjoys chocolate on his boat. He like sailing indulgences.
The pope loves summer, they say he is infallible.
Two fae fell in love. They keep fauning over each other.
The knight suffered from boils, he had to get them lanced.
Why did the wood nymph use some much lotion? Because she had dryad skin.
Obviously its going to have Fair prices.
To pee or not to pee: that was the question.
This is an eggs-hiding opportunity!
“Sorry, son. I’m baroque”
I think that's a fair assessment.
Pumpkin Pi
They eat Holi mole.
'Ricotta be kidding me!'
Dad: No. You’re grounded.
Son: No fair!
Dad: That’s exactly what I said.
Dad: No, it’s too dangerous.
Son: No fair!
Dad: Yes, that’s exactly what I said.
Son: No fair!!
Dad: Exactly what I said.
Dad: No, you are grounded.
Son: No fair!
Dad: That’s exactly what I said!
Him: No fair!
Me: That’s exactly what I said.
