My friend has a lot of knowledge about Islamic festivals.

She's really eiducated.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sunflower_44
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My town throws a festival for the salmon spawn each year. This is what they call companies that contribute a significant amount of money.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBrontosaurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œDad, is the Renaissance festival canceled this year?”

Dad: Yes, because of Covid.

Son: No fair!

Dad: That’s what I said.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I once slept with a girl I met during a festival, but we didn’t utter a word to each other before, during or after.

And I must say, it made it rather in-tents.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/archiewalton09
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the Egg go to the Comedy festival?

He heard that the comics had the crowds cracking up

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snuffy_tentpeg
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The festival of lights
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ginganinja709
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I got food poisoning at a German festival

It was the wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 140
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tinytiz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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I always thought that organizing the Amsterdam Light Festival would be a heavy task

But it turns out to be quite light

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GijsHuisman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
There should be a music festival in the Middle East called Lollafallujah
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ipariah
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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Who is this band, "Many More"? I always hear them advertised at festivals but I don't think I've ever heard one of their songs
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D3ltaforc3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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I went to a scarecrow festival this weekend

They were outstanding in their field

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/endangeredpenguin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Heard a dad joke at Bonnaroo Music Festival

Was at the Kanye (Yeezus) performance this weekend and he kept doing this thing where he would start playing a song then cut it off about five seconds in and rant about something. The third time this happened a guy behind me yelled "More like Teezus, am i right?"

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Throat_Bruiser
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2014
🚨︎ report
Overheard at a music festival:

"Dude, you want some of this Molly?"

"No thanks, I've got visitation rights for my kid this weekend."

"So?"

"So, I've already got my ex to see."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I took my dad to a blues-classical music festival last weekend.

He didn’t care for it. Too much sax and violins.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/razortongue71
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
This town has a festival every year for the spawning salmon. They are rife with fish puns. It’s my favorite time of year.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBrontosaurus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
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Fyre festival is being investigated

I guess no one's above the ja ruul of law

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
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I told my Dad that my wife and I were going to a Harry Potter themed beer festival.

He said, "Try not to catch Hogwarts".

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T1GKnudsvigr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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Hotdog Stand at a Festival
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/minerva_sways
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2017
🚨︎ report
I'm a street performer at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival. I tell punny jokes there, thought you'd enjoy them.

The King is in love with the Spanish Armada, in fact you could say he warships it.

I got into a fight with a group of jesters, I escaped by going for the juggler.

I recently read "Gulliver's Travels" it was a Swift read.

Have you read the book about traveling through hell? It's a Dante-ing read.

Q: How many animals can you fight into the Lord High Sheriff's tights? A: Ten piggies, two calves, a rooster and an ass.

Vikings raided the royal cheese supply, they left nothing behind but de Brie.

I met a wizard, I told him he looked like a mana action.

The unskilled mason forget to put a water supply in the new castle. He did not keep well.

The angry archer was so surly he had everyone convinced he was a cross bowman.

The failed stone cutter also lost his job as a bounty hunter. He could never find his quarry.

The nun kept spilling sacramental wine on herself. She made a bad habit of it.

The pope enjoys chocolate on his boat. He like sailing indulgences.

The pope loves summer, they say he is infallible.

Two fae fell in love. They keep fauning over each other.

The knight suffered from boils, he had to get them lanced.

Why did the wood nymph use some much lotion? Because she had dryad skin.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kbdekker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
🚨︎ report
This festival food truck
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/family_reunion182
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Someone asked me how expensive the festival was.

Obviously its going to have Fair prices.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/n3rv0u5
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
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I got philosophical in the lavatory line at the Shakespeare festival.

To pee or not to pee: that was the question.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mephron
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
🚨︎ report
β€œDad, will you pay for my ticket to the renaissance festival?”

β€œSorry, son. I’m baroque”

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nonficshawn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I’ve been selected to hide eggs in my town’s big Easter festival next year!

This is an eggs-hiding opportunity!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jhabibs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
🚨︎ report
My town's local art festival this weekend missed an opportunity to call itself Total Eclipse of the Art.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HyperFrosting
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2017
🚨︎ report
A futon's favorite musical festival
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderCunningham
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2016
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I went to a local festival and I thought it was just alright.

I think that's a fair assessment.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMagicalMark
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
🚨︎ report
The Islamic State is hosting a music festival in Iraq.

They're calling it Allahpalooza some of the headliners include, The Suicide Girls, Bombye West, and The Big Bang Theory.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theprofiteer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2016
🚨︎ report
What did the attendees of the 'Big Cheese Festival' say when they ran out of cheese?

'Ricotta be kidding me!'

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snoopal00p
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2018
🚨︎ report
How do Mexicans celebrate Indian religious festivals?

They eat Holi mole.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WermTerd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
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My nerdy attempt to fit in at festivals
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Assvertisements
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2012
🚨︎ report
What do you call food plus entry to a festival for $8?

Fair fair fare & fare.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hann1980
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Hit me with your puns for a folk festival shirt!

My friend is designing a t-shirt for Folk Fest and needs a witty, all-ages-appropriate pun to go on it, but neither her, nor I or my fiancee can come up with one. The image on the front is of a beardy man playing the tuba, with a bird (Cardinal, I think?) coming out of it that's playing the drums. Out of the bass drum is crawling a cracked-out-looking dude wearing flannel, who's playing the guitar-looking instrument, with arms coming out of that playing the triangle. A great pun for the shirt with the word "Folk" in it would be much appreciated, and I know you guys are good at making puns, so fire away! Reddit, lend me your puns!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2012
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Dadjoked girl at Music Festival.

Yesterday a random girl was on my shoulders at a music festival. When she finally got down, I remarked "Well that's a weight off my shoulders!"

Needless to say she walked away and i never saw her again.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeahbro86
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2014
🚨︎ report
Heard this while at a town festival this weekend

A guy was playing music while trying to sell his CDs. Between songs, he threw this out there: "Bought myself an AM radio the other day; I was really happy when I found out it still works in the evening!"

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xenokira
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2015
🚨︎ report
Renaissance Festival on a hot day.

So we were at the local Renaissance festival on labor day and temps were getting up to the 90s. I see a guy carrying ice to one of the shops. Slyly I lean over to the wife and say: " Look honey, that guy has the coolest job."

Consider this one of my finest dad moment.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Seifer_Extreme
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2016
🚨︎ report
got wife driving home with fam from a fall festival

Me: "That was fun. I used to be addicted to these things"

Wife: "Addicted?"

Me: "Until I tried the pumpkin patch"

Wife: *silent no-u-didnt stare

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xstreamly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2016
🚨︎ report
A Joke at a Festival

I was with a few people at a festival, and saw a little girl pulling a baby goat back to her (the goat's) stall. I could resist saying

"Look at those two little kids!"

Groans were my cheers and facepalms were my applause

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AQuickQuestionER
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2014
🚨︎ report
Coming in last place at The International Food Festival, German sausage

Judges declared it literally the wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/d3lerium
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2016
🚨︎ report
My wife, who loves canning, asked if she could go to the fermentation festival.

I said she could go as long as she doesn't get pickled.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/caffiend2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2015
🚨︎ report
β€œDad, can I go to the Renaissance festival?”

Dad: No. You’re grounded.

Son: No fair!

Dad: That’s exactly what I said.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œDad, can I go to the renaissance festival?” Dad: β€œNo, you’re grounded.”

Son: No fair!!

Dad: Exactly what I said.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
🚨︎ report
β€œDad, can I go the Renaissance festival?”

Dad: No, it’s too dangerous.

Son: No fair!

Dad: Yes, that’s exactly what I said.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œDad, can I go to the Renaissance festival?”

Dad: No, you are grounded.

Son: No fair!

Dad: That’s exactly what I said!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My son asked me, β€œDad, can I go to the Renaissance festival?” I said, β€œNo. You are grounded.”

Him: No fair!

Me: That’s exactly what I said.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report

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