Current Events
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︎ Jan 04 2021
My buddy got to the Nissan dealership just in time to buy his truck during a sales event.
It was the Final Frontier
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︎ Jan 28 2021
What tool would deal best with a traumatic event?
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Keep in mind that given all of this year's events, Thanksgiving dinner can get heated
It can get re-heated the next day as well
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︎ Nov 19 2020
What's the most popular event at autopsy club?
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︎ Oct 28 2020
You can book my band for corporate events
We're called Linkedin Park
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︎ Nov 15 2020
My Dad(64) always shows up to every event 10 minutes after it's started. We bought him a watch, told him the start time was earlier than it was, we've tried everything, but nothing works...
We just have to accept that he's a Late Boomer.
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︎ Nov 01 2020
What is the frog community's favorite sporting event?
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︎ Oct 31 2020
A lot of people are shocked by the recent events in NASCAR
What is often characterized as a very conservative organization has taken a stance against racism. I'm not surprised at all though. To anyone who's been paying attention, from its very beginnings, NASCAR has always been veering to the left.
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︎ Jun 22 2020
With so many sporting events canceled, theyβre going to televise the World Origami Championship.
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︎ Aug 21 2020
A bar near me has an event once a week where a guy called Michael freely allows the customers to perform surgery on him...
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︎ Sep 22 2020
The re-opening of LEGO stores was the biggest event of 2020.
People were lined up for blocks!
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︎ Sep 02 2020
I make my dog wear shoes at social events
So nobody notices his forepaws.
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︎ Sep 24 2020
I use Ironman sounds in my phones event calander for important stuff.
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︎ Jul 26 2020
Certain Olympic events should be thrown out
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︎ May 29 2020
What do you call a potato who goes to a sporting event?
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︎ Jun 09 2020
Iβm gutted I couldnβt go to the cheese tasting event this week
I heard it was a really fondue
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︎ Aug 05 2020
Based on real life events
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︎ Apr 13 2020
Arguing over current events is perfectly natural, but thereβs a time and a place.
It makes people uncomfortable when they see you mask debating in public.
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︎ Aug 07 2020
I'm planning a charity event for people who can't ejaculate.
Just let me know if you can't come.
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︎ Jun 05 2020
It's amazing how many large events have been cancelled recently.
It has been an unconventional year.
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︎ Jul 17 2020
With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the 'World Origami Championships'
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︎ Jul 08 2020
After the events of Avengers: Endgame, Professor Hulk opened a custom woodworking business
It was called Bruce Banisters
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︎ Jun 18 2020
I needed hot air balloon pilots for an event. I could either hire or use prison labor.
Dad told me I should weigh the pros and cons first.
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︎ Jul 16 2020
The crossover event weβve all been waiting for.
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︎ Mar 02 2020
Anyone remember the first Lennox Lewis - Evander Holyfield fight? I heard it was a black tie event.
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︎ Apr 21 2020
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︎ Jun 07 2020
I failed a health and safety course yesterday. One of the questions was βin the event of a fire, what steps would you take?β
βLarge onesβ was apparently the wrong answer.
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︎ Oct 19 2019
A conversation from today while attending a free santa picture event at my wife's workplace.
Lady- how old is your daughter?
Me - 5
Lady - when does she turn six?
Me - on her birthday
Lady (mad that she got dadded) when is her birthday?
Me - every year.
Wife and Lady both just sigh and walk away.
Sorry for format, I'm on mobile.
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︎ Dec 15 2019
Would a Speed Dating event at Hobby Lobby be called...
Craft Singles?
My daughter said the joke was cheesy and not very Gouda. :(
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︎ Jan 18 2020
A couple expecting a baby girl made a long list of possible names for a girl child, but only one name in the event that they have a boy. They ended up having a boy.
He was named Justin Case.
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︎ Mar 18 2020
In light of current events, I've been doing some self reflection and I came to the conclusion that I need to be more like a German child.
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︎ Mar 25 2020
What do you call Chef Boyardee products that you stockpile in the event of a quarantine?
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︎ Mar 20 2020
As a chef, I often get asked questions. My friend asked me what my favourite sporting event was.
I said the Soup Herb Bowl.
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︎ Sep 28 2019
If reports on new events are called news
why isnt history called olds
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︎ Nov 10 2019
The re-opening of Lego stores was a big event
Really
Oh yeah, people were lined up for blocks
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︎ Jun 07 2020
With so many supporting events being canceled, they're going to televise the World Origami Championships.
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︎ Jul 06 2020
With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the World Origami Championship.
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︎ Jun 23 2020
LEGO stores reopening will be one of the biggest events of 2020
People will be lined up for blocks
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︎ Jun 15 2020
With so many sporting events being cancelled theyβre having to televise the World Origami Championship...
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︎ Apr 07 2020
With so many sporting events being cancelled, they're having to televise the world origami championships.
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︎ Apr 26 2020
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