With so many sporting events canceled, they’re going to televise the World Origami Championship.

It’s on Paperview

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rockboxatx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21
🚨︎ report
A lot of people are shocked by the recent events in NASCAR

What is often characterized as a very conservative organization has taken a stance against racism. I'm not surprised at all though. To anyone who's been paying attention, from its very beginnings, NASCAR has always been veering to the left.

πŸ‘︎ 100
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
🚨︎ report
I use Ironman sounds in my phones event calander for important stuff.

It's a Stark reminder.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zerogummi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26
🚨︎ report
The re-opening of LEGO stores was a big event in 2020...

People were lined up for blocks.

https://i.imgur.com/Ph9QdvL.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bill_Baldwin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03
🚨︎ report
I’m gutted I couldn’t go to the cheese tasting event this week

I heard it was a really fondue

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nymphomanius
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05
🚨︎ report
Arguing over current events is perfectly natural, but there’s a time and a place.

It makes people uncomfortable when they see you mask debating in public.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jimgolgari
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07
🚨︎ report
What do you call a potato who goes to a sporting event?

A spec-tater!

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
Certain Olympic events should be thrown out

Discuss

πŸ‘︎ 90
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/h0ll0wface
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
It's amazing how many large events have been cancelled recently.

It has been an unconventional year.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MmmVomit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17
🚨︎ report
With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the 'World Origami Championships'

It's on paperview

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08
🚨︎ report
I needed hot air balloon pilots for an event. I could either hire or use prison labor.

Dad told me I should weigh the pros and cons first.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/exaball
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
With so many supporting events being canceled, they're going to televise the World Origami Championships.

It will be on Paperview.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06
🚨︎ report
After the events of Avengers: Endgame, Professor Hulk opened a custom woodworking business

It was called Bruce Banisters

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AllanCD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
🚨︎ report
I'm planning a charity event for people who can't ejaculate.

Just let me know if you can't come.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HyperGameGuy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
The re-opening of Lego stores was a big event

Really

Oh yeah, people were lined up for blocks

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/toolaroola12
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
Based on real life events
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeMize_15
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
🚨︎ report
With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the World Origami Championship.

It’s on Paperview!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dennyitlo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23
🚨︎ report
LEGO stores reopening will be one of the biggest events of 2020

People will be lined up for blocks

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nebulas-Entity
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
Electric current events. /r/Jokes/comments/gttx2j/…
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/holymolybreath
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
Anyone remember the first Lennox Lewis - Evander Holyfield fight? I heard it was a black tie event.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/puppylove1000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
With so many sporting events being cancelled they’re having to televise the World Origami Championship...

It’s on paperview.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/niloc12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
The crossover event we’ve all been waiting for.
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jokebadly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
🚨︎ report
With so many sporting events being cancelled, they're having to televise the world origami championships.

They're on paperview.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ben_Zedd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
A couple expecting a baby girl made a long list of possible names for a girl child, but only one name in the event that they have a boy. They ended up having a boy.

He was named Justin Case.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
In light of current events, I've been doing some self reflection and I came to the conclusion that I need to be more like a German child.

I need to be kinder.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/strmgdndl
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
Would a Speed Dating event at Hobby Lobby be called...

Craft Singles?

My daughter said the joke was cheesy and not very Gouda. :(

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Guycelium
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
🚨︎ report
A conversation from today while attending a free santa picture event at my wife's workplace.

Lady- how old is your daughter?

Me - 5

Lady - when does she turn six?

Me - on her birthday

Lady (mad that she got dadded) when is her birthday?

Me - every year.

Wife and Lady both just sigh and walk away.

Sorry for format, I'm on mobile.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/enis_with_a_p
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I failed a health and safety course yesterday. One of the questions was β€˜in the event of a fire, what steps would you take?’

β€˜Large ones’ was apparently the wrong answer.

πŸ‘︎ 85
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pheebsbrown
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
If reports on new events are called news

why isnt history called olds

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/posebean
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
As a chef, I often get asked questions. My friend asked me what my favourite sporting event was.

I said the Soup Herb Bowl.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aveonick
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is a baby showing the top of its head during labor a significant event?

Because that’s the baby’s crowning achievement.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/surgicalfunnel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
They added a new rule to all sporting events

It’s a real game changer

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Peyton_Rials
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
So there was an event in my town, a big group of people stood in the queue, and at the opposite direction there was a second line, the first people from the each line would walk in the between of those and punch each other, and then the second people go and punch themselves ect. They called it a...

punchline

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tarka_d0_sera
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What event did James Chairles go to this year?

Couchella.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FrozenToaster17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Based on true events

Worked 13 hours. Tired as hell, work bestie and I are heading back to the shop to drop the trailers and head home. This douche canoe keeps trying to cut us off, and finally my friend loses his cool and throws a cookie he’d been saving at this guys car. It lands on the windshield. Cops get involved, work bestie gets detained, I call boss and tell him what happened: Boss: is he being charged with anything? Me: yeah he’s being charged for assault and bakery.
Boss laughs his ass off, guy has warrants, work bestie gets arrested but not charged. Happy ending.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
People love it when I come to sports events on a hot summer day. Know why?

Because I’m a big fan.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?

He was dissed by the prose at a rave.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yetanotherrob
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
🚨︎ report
In college, I took many classes on the study of past events surrounding scraps of food from a meal

I even changed my major to Ort History!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Apparently Sammy Hagar has an upcoming late night BBQ event.

It's your one way chicken to midnight.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealZy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
In Current Events...

We went rafting today!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/masterj2378
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
The World Health Organization is hosting a new event to show their thoughtfulness and concern for human health

The event will be affectionately named WHO Cares

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/197708156EQUJ5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What happened when the alligator passed the event horizon?

Spagatorfication.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Socratio
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My Canadian friend was reluctant to emcee the Young Men's Christian Association event.

His exact words were, "Why emcee, eh?"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s a skeletons favorite wrestling event?

A rib cage match

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Petey1210
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
At a formal event, roll your tie up into a little bundle just below the knot.

 

 

Then ask someone, "which of the 2 flaps do you think will unravel first?"

 

After they guess, let in unravel and go, "Its a tie!"

 

...continue doing this to every single person you can in the room wearing a shit eating grin the whole time, until your wife pulls you aside and tells you it's time to leave (out of embarrassment and frustration).

 

now you get to go back home and do Dad stuff as you please!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jakjaklivs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend is getting famous for his hyper realistic pictures of people enjoying different sporting events.

He really knows how to draw a crowd.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Getting fire training at work and was asked what steps to take in the event of a fire.

I said BIG ONES in the opposite direction of the fire....apparently the wrong answer.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/catonmyshoulder69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Has anyone seen Pornhub’s Bee saving event?

I know there will bee a lot of puns and will for sure create a lot of buzz

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jpbz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Me: You really need to watch β€œA series of unfortunate events.”

Her: Ok. Let me take out the wedding video.

πŸ‘︎ 105
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
🚨︎ report
The Queen knighted the first weather event today.

He is sirocco

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OneLessFool
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I got invited to an event with only apple apps...

There was no 3rd party...

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-FBI_CHAN-
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
A chiropractor’s sign at an event reads β€˜free chair massage’.

β€œChair massages? I would’ve brought mine in if I knew ahead of time.”

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/farewell_sushi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know the 1936 Berlin Olympics had the 100m sprint as the only running event?

Hitler only wanted one race in Berlin

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you miss the big black hole picture event yesterday?

Don't worry, there is another one on the horizon

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thenewyorkgod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you think geologists have an event around this time of the year called Arch Madness?
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YaBoiJFlo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Whenever I go to a social event, I always bring a pick

It helps break the ice

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the mushroom say to his friends when they were going to an event without him?

Have fungis

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FurriesRGay14
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm having a charity event for people who can't reach orgasm

If you can't come let me know

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/salomecrucis
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2017
🚨︎ report
I always think about getting a job estimating crowd sizes for different outdoor events.

I wonder how many people are in that field.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
🚨︎ report
The baseball team were part of a charity event

but right off the bat, you could see that they weren't pitching in.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My brother after watching the winner of a women's swimming event last night

Mom: is that swimmer Russian?

Bro: well.. Not anymore, she finished

Blank stares turned to realizations and then everyone threw stuff at him

πŸ‘︎ 475
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yeagerbomb16
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2016
🚨︎ report
Our friends Ian and Greg are not talking to each other, so we alternately invite them to our social events.

We are on a Greg or Ian calendar.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Freestyle rap is being added as an event at the Special Olympics

It's a great way to showcase people with dis abilities.

πŸ‘︎ 149
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cactuar32
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2016
🚨︎ report
If a Russian athlete wins in a Pyeongchang event, does that mean they're Medaling with the Olympics?
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/49RedBulls
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Why don't you normally see birds near the field at sporting events

Because they prefer the cheep cheap seats

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Which fruit is best at organising events?

An Orange, as it can orange things pretty well.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Why don't Swedish people need to worry about security in marine events?

Because they scan the navy in

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BeardedDeath
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2017
🚨︎ report
D: Son, wake up real early on your birthday. There's going to be a historic event. S. What kind of event?

D: The dawn of a new age.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2017
🚨︎ report
I work at a shoe store and we were setting up for an event...

My co-worker turned to a veteran employee and said, β€œya know, for as long as ugg has been around I’m surprised they haven’t made any uggs for dogs.”

I chuckle to myself for a few seconds and he asks, β€œWhat the hell is so funny?”

I respond in the voice of an over enthusiastic sales man, β€œHello there miss, I see you’ve brought your dog in today, what size is she....K-9?”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FadePatriot
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I wish characters from Disney animation would explain current events to me.

I'd love to see Brexit Ralph.

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Saith_Cassus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2016
🚨︎ report
What do drag queens wear to formal events?

Tuckceedos!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Germany has never won a gold medal at a track event

Which is funny because they’re known for trying to finish a race.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LelPopYT
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I experienced a truly ground breaking event yesterday.

It was an earthquake.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/justmikewilldo
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Even if you win a Luge event, you're still a Luger.
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drunk98
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do motorized vehicles always get over traumatic events faster than everything else?

They have shock absorbers.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Argon1124
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2017
🚨︎ report
If the Red Cross did an orchestral fundraising event...

They could call it The Big Band Aid.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChesterMonty
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2018
🚨︎ report
What is a melodramatic person's favorite sport event?

The Hyperbole

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/I_love_420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2017
🚨︎ report
As we were about to leave for an event...

My sister: "I need to hurry up and go change first."

Dad: "Don't change, we like you!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Edover51315
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2017
🚨︎ report
When gladiators fought lions, it was always the mane event
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/topderp1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2017
🚨︎ report
This incredible series of events happened yesterday...

We were in pre-service prayer time hanging out for everyone to come into the room when this conversation.

Pastor 1: "John and I were getting donuts and discussing theology..."

Pastor 2 (from another church): "glad you were having donuts, they're a holy food."

Pastor 1: "man, that joke is really sweet."

Pastor 3: "man, you guys are really on a roll."

I laughed, their were many moans and eye rolls.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2015
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear about the big birdwatching event tonight?

Supposedly there was a superb owl!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jmeast
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2016
🚨︎ report
My dad and mom had this exchange today while watching a NASCAR event. I might have two dads.

Dad: "The Cottonelle driver's career must be in the toilet."

Cottonelle driver gets in wreck several minutes later.

Mom almost instantly: "They had better wipe up that mess."

These two were clearly made for each other.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fagballs3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2017
🚨︎ report
The Times Square event organizers have a big night ahead of them...

Hope they don't drop the ball...

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prosciuttolover
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
🚨︎ report
In light of recent events... (Fixed) imgur.com/9OpNAxJ
πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LunarDrop
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2013
🚨︎ report
They wanted to discuss the CAT-astrophic events in Paris youtube.com/watch?v=afPsJ…
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GoogleCrap
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2015
🚨︎ report

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