It was a krauted field.
There aren't any good candied-dates.
After failing to win for about 9 times in a row, Jaime, hired a spy who will go and check Jack's harvest the night before the contest so he can harvest more. As the spy came back the night before, he informed the farmer Jaime about the amount that he saw inside Jack's yard but he was not able to tell the amount in exact. Jaime took the spy to his paddy field, gave him some extra money than what they initially agreed upon and said...
"You reap what you saw".
I came so close to winning but I blew it
They say he was outstanding in his own field.
The Briner Leagues.
I hope it sucks seeds
USB Flash Drive
"But it is a CUP-etition!"
... I've never been so proud of her.
Tan out of tan
...but I've got some Trix up my sleeve
Inspired by a recent post here
He was kicking himself.
Last man standing wins.
I heard it's pay per view...
He had good flipper action
There was a lot of beef between the competitors.
And realizes that his cake batter was not turning out right. After a moment of panic, he had a sudden realization and placed the whole mixing bowl, whisk and all, into the oven. After 20 minutes he took the whole thing out and served it to the judges. Understandably, he got last place. When he met up with his family afterwards, his wife asked, “what were you thinking?” The man replied, “I don’t know, but it was a whisk I was willing to bake.”
The higher up you can get your cow the higher the score you get.
The steaks are rising.
You win thumb, you lose thumb.
The loser had to wear their underwear over their pants.
I hoped at least one of them will win, but no pun in ten did.
People who tie for first place
The winning submission was Baby McBabyFace.
It's a pretty big dill.
He ran out of thyme
Dracula wanted to know which of his bats was the best. So he organized a little competition. The bat which would drink more blood in less time than others would be the winner. The first bat went and came back after 10 minutes. Its mouth was full of blood. Dracula was impressed. He asked, "Nice, how did you do it?" The bat said, "Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a house. I went inside and drank the blood of all the family." Dracula said, "Very good". The second bat went and came back after 5 minutes. He too had blood on all his face. Dracula was shocked, "How did you do that?" The bat said, "Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a hotel. I went inside and drank the blood of all the guests." Dracula said, "Fantastic". Now the third bat went and came back just after 1 minute. There was blood on all his body. Dracula couldn’tbelieve his eyes, "How did you do that?" The bat said, "Do you see that tower?" Dracula said, "Yes". And the bat said, "I didn’t see it".
Close, but no cigar
“No, I want it even lower. I want it mega-low, Don.”
The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.
The race was rigged.
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?'
I'd heard it was a write-off.
I guess I better step up my game.
I got gold, silver and bronze.
It was a draw.
a posh trophy
No pun in-ten-did
It turned out to be a draw.
From the Wallstreet Journal newscast. No pun intended.
Turns out he Juan first place.
I hope I can pull it off.
No pun intended.
It’s kinda a big dill
It was a grand dad joke
It's the first annual Cowtography competition.
They called it the Game of Groans.
It ended in a draw.
I was disappointed, but it's better than getting the competition pregnant
I made a huge splash
I submitted 10 puns hoping one would win, but "no pun in ten did"
Got the constellation prize.
He would be the reigning Raining champ
Because all races are equal.
He rose above the rest.
Because they’re all out standing in their fields
It was hard for the girls to have fun since the steaks were so high.
But I did get the constellation prize.
“Sighs doesn’t matter, guys!”
The prize was a solid gold punctuation mark.
They gave me a posh trophy.
They suffered heavy casual tees.
I've just taken the lead.
I guess he was a sore loser.
There was no pie... only people reciting pi from memory. The pie was a lie
No one. It was a tie.
...he finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective.
Sadly, no pun in ten did.
A golden toe-ken.
A grower not a shower.
Son: “what kind of bear never gets hot?” ... Son: “-a kool..alla “
Daughter: “what do you call a witch you’ve never met?” ... Daughter: “hermione stranger”
Wife: “what do you call a squishy collection of domiciles?” ... Wife: “mush room”
Daughter: “what do you call a Canadian cow?” ... Daughter: “moooooose”
Me: “what beverage do you get when you remove a baby cow from its Mom?” ... Me: “decalf”
I also submitted my joke about the earthquake, like a letter gone international (it’s in another post) or a wayward string gone rogue (in another thread)
I have the best family.
but in the end it was a tie.
I didn't come first, but I did win the constellation prize.
I hope that the bee could spell 'worcestershire' correctly.
I got gold, silver and bronze.