The result of an art competition...

Is a draw.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/matthewrmshin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about all the competition in the outdoor pickled cabbage contest?

It was a krauted field.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/citrusguy9
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
🚨︎ report
I refuse to vote for anyone in the dried fruit competition.

There aren't any good candied-dates.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ApologeticKid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
In a village, far far away, two farmers often had a competition within themselves to see who harvests the most every 6 months.

After failing to win for about 9 times in a row, Jaime, hired a spy who will go and check Jack's harvest the night before the contest so he can harvest more. As the spy came back the night before, he informed the farmer Jaime about the amount that he saw inside Jack's yard but he was not able to tell the amount in exact. Jaime took the spy to his paddy field, gave him some extra money than what they initially agreed upon and said...

"You reap what you saw".

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MShafiSatthar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19
🚨︎ report
I just came second in my city's big bubble blowing competition

I came so close to winning but I blew it

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NateTheSimpleOne
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
A farmer won a competition. When he was told he won, he was so surprised.

They say he was outstanding in his own field.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChungaChunga06
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
What’s the Highest Level of Competition That a Semi Professional Sauerkraut Pickler Aspires To?

The Briner Leagues.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/du_bekar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11
🚨︎ report
I've got a pedigree toothless Norwegian Blue Parrot I want to enter in competitions

I hope it sucks seeds

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hamsternoir
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04
🚨︎ report
Who would win a racing competition among all the computer devices?

USB Flash Drive

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/archit14
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
I reattached a cup holder to my son's car seat the other day. My daughter (5yo) taunted him, saying, "I have TWO cup holders!" I told her, "It's not a competition," to which she replied...

"But it is a CUP-etition!"

... I've never been so proud of her.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshSamBob
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
What do you call a goodlooking winner of a large suntanning competition?

Tan out of tan

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
No one expected me to win the cereal eating competition

...but I've got some Trix up my sleeve

Inspired by a recent post here

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FabuPineapple
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
My son seemed really upset that he came in last at the Karate competition.

He was kicking himself.

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
What do you say in a sitting competition?

Last man standing wins.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stink-on-Reddit
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting the 2020 Origami competition?

I heard it's pay per view...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/k-810
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
How did the dolphin win the pinball competition?

He had good flipper action

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
🚨︎ report
Recently went to a steak eating competition.

There was a lot of beef between the competitors.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zkck0517
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
I lost the tug of war competition

All held broke loose

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
A man enters into a baking competition

And realizes that his cake batter was not turning out right. After a moment of panic, he had a sudden realization and placed the whole mixing bowl, whisk and all, into the oven. After 20 minutes he took the whole thing out and served it to the judges. Understandably, he got last place. When he met up with his family afterwards, his wife asked, β€œwhat were you thinking?” The man replied, β€œI don’t know, but it was a whisk I was willing to bake.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EdibleBatteries
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cow competition worth 1,000,000 dollars?

The higher up you can get your cow the higher the score you get.

The steaks are rising.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MightBeATaco
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
I won biggest shoe competition

It was a really big feat

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Red-Mario
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
Man, wait till you hear what my finishing move was at the Battleship competition!

I One

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xevetv
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
I won a thumb at a lisp competition, but lost it soon after.

You win thumb, you lose thumb.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ollieacappella
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Frankenstein enters a body building competition and finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leianarodriguez
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Superman and I had an arm wrestling competition

The loser had to wear their underwear over their pants.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tahmid5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
I entered a pun competition with 10 puns of mine:

I hoped at least one of them will win, but no pun in ten did.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danielsoft1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Who always wins fashion competitions?

People who tie for first place

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jojabean
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
A mobster held an internet naming competition for his newborn kid.

The winning submission was Baby McBabyFace.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/capt-nemo3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I just won a pickle growing competition!

It's a pretty big dill.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/37EastAsianSalads
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
If there were a competition for hiccups, it would probably be called The Hic-Cup.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ParadoxNinja
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the chef lose the cooking competition?

He ran out of thyme

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onsyde
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Dracula’s competition

Dracula wanted to know which of his bats was the best. So he organized a little competition. The bat which would drink more blood in less time than others would be the winner. The first bat went and came back after 10 minutes. Its mouth was full of blood. Dracula was impressed. He asked, "Nice, how did you do it?" The bat said, "Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a house. I went inside and drank the blood of all the family." Dracula said, "Very good". The second bat went and came back after 5 minutes. He too had blood on all his face. Dracula was shocked, "How did you do that?" The bat said, "Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a hotel. I went inside and drank the blood of all the guests." Dracula said, "Fantastic". Now the third bat went and came back just after 1 minute. There was blood on all his body. Dracula couldn’tbelieve his eyes, "How did you do that?" The bat said, "Do you see that tower?" Dracula said, "Yes". And the bat said, "I didn’t see it".

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cool-kid103
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I came second in a Winston Churchill lookalike competition

Close, but no cigar

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
[OC] The prehistoric shark in a limbo competition asked the presiding official, Don, to lower the bar. β€œLow enough?” Don asked.

β€œNo, I want it even lower. I want it mega-low, Don.”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/budcuddly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the best way to watch a fly fishing competition?

Live stream

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend Ty came first in a swimming competition in Beijing, but he wasn’t given a gold medal.

The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.

πŸ‘︎ 211
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Two truckers decided to have a competition to see who had the faster truck...

The race was rigged.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition

I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?'

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Where's the best place in Finland to hold a fart competition?

Hell-stinky

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaros262
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I was surprised the recent author competition actually went through.

I'd heard it was a write-off.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BreakBye
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to compete in a stair climbing competition, but I lost in the first round.

I guess I better step up my game.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doogasa34
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I entered a kleptomania competition.

I got gold, silver and bronze.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the final round of the Artist Competition?

It was a draw.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedeafbadger
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
what do people win at fancy grammar competitions

a posh trophy

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Greeendino
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I entered 10 of my best puns into a competition to see if any would win

No pun in-ten-did

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/patmcheese
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I made it to the final round of the Art Competition, but didn’t win.

It turned out to be a draw.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedeafbadger
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Behond Meat competition doesn't meet expectations

From the Wallstreet Journal newscast. No pun intended.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/P4WWWWW
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My cousin was at a Mexican apple eating competition.

Turns out he Juan first place.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radicall1128
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
From a post about a high jump competition in kenya
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ysd2484
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm entering into the world's tightest hat competition

I hope I can pull it off.

πŸ‘︎ 106
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tanglimara19
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A competition entry at Youth club
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ManILoveFarming
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I sent 10 puns off to a pun competition to see if they would win.

No pun intended.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I won the giant pickle competition at the state fair!

It’s kinda a big dill

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garboooge
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I entered a dad joke competition and won $1000

It was a grand dad joke

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/huwr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2017
🚨︎ report
For the first time ever, the Wisconsin State Fair has a competition where cattle draw maps.

It's the first annual Cowtography competition.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TBoneMKE
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..

They called it the Game of Groans.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrincessBblgum1
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the art competition?

It ended in a draw.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/electric_leper
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
my friend pulled out of a competition recently

I was disappointed, but it's better than getting the competition pregnant

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nimito_burrito
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I surprised the judges at my last diving competition by performing a cannonball.

I made a huge splash

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What would you call a make-up competition?

A Face-off.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pabesh17
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What competition are wizards great at?

Spelling bees

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ayyyyysdf165
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I once entered a pun competition...

I submitted 10 puns hoping one would win, but "no pun in ten did"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I came second in a space photography competition.

Got the constellation prize.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Randomd0g
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Every year, dads hold a competition to see who can make it rain. Their goal is to have someone win 2 years in a row

He would be the reigning Raining champ

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clay00000
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I don't believe in racing competitions

Because all races are equal.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amiradzim
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the florist win the competition for best occupation?

He rose above the rest.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dalek2653
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Farmers have a hard time getting ahead of their competition

Because they’re all out standing in their fields

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrDorkside
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Texas Roadhouse tightroping waitress competition?

It was hard for the girls to have fun since the steaks were so high.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukethelogician
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I entered an astronomy competition. I didn't win.

But I did get the constellation prize.

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lenzar86
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
🚨︎ report
People in a crowded hall were all exhaling in a competition to see who could exhale the longest. The most illiterate one butted in, saying;

β€œSighs doesn’t matter, guys!”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chedderchees
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I won the punctuation competition when I was at school.

The prize was a solid gold punctuation mark.

They gave me a posh trophy.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thewargingned
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
The Great British Baking Show is an in tents competition.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RSTLNE3MCAAV
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Riots broke out at the thickest shirt competition...

They suffered heavy casual tees.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HandCrimped
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife and I are having a competition to see who can steal the most dog related stuff from our local petshop.

I've just taken the lead.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDemeisen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2016
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the injured runner who got last place in the competition?

I guess he was a sore loser.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToonyCream
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I starved myself all day to get ready for the pi competition

There was no pie... only people reciting pi from memory. The pie was a lie

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Two coworkers were having a competition on who wore the better accessory on the neck. Who won?

No one. It was a tie.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fusrodah10
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Frankenstein enters a bodybuilding competition...

...he finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tapoutmb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I submitted 10 puns to a joke writing competition to see if any of them made to the finals.

Sadly, no pun in ten did.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the foot earn for coming first in the running competition?

A golden toe-ken.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a gardener who is reluctant to take part in competitions?

A grower not a shower.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamez24
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
We had a dad joke competition in the car...

Son: β€œwhat kind of bear never gets hot?” ... Son: β€œ-a kool..alla β€œ

Daughter: β€œwhat do you call a witch you’ve never met?” ... Daughter: β€œhermione stranger”

Wife: β€œwhat do you call a squishy collection of domiciles?” ... Wife: β€œmush room”

Daughter: β€œwhat do you call a Canadian cow?” ... Daughter: β€œmoooooose”

Me: β€œwhat beverage do you get when you remove a baby cow from its Mom?” ... Me: β€œdecalf”

I also submitted my joke about the earthquake, like a letter gone international (it’s in another post) or a wayward string gone rogue (in another thread)

I have the best family.

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onejdc
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
🚨︎ report
We had a neckwear competition and the contestants all brought their best

but in the end it was a tie.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/byukid_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I recently entered a competition sponsored by the Astrological society.

I didn't come first, but I did win the constellation prize.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stw303
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
🚨︎ report
So US has a Spelling Bee competition.

I hope that the bee could spell 'worcestershire' correctly.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I entered a kleptomania competition.

I got gold, silver and bronze.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the chef lose the cooking competition?

He ran out of thyme.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Onsyde
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report

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