My clothes were having a competition to decide which one is the coolest
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︎ May 28 2021
What did the tailoring competition end in
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︎ Jun 03 2021
I entered the national rage competition after being told I was easily angered, but lost to a guy who was much angrier than me.
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︎ May 05 2021
Once again I've entered the annual tightest hat competition in our town, this year I'm just hoping..
..that I can pull it off.
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︎ Apr 01 2021
I've entered a competition to win the entire ABBA back catalogue.
There's no second prize....
The Winner Takes It All.
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︎ May 23 2021
I recently entered ten puns into a joke competition hoping I would win with at least one of them.
Unfortunately no pun in ten did.
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︎ Jun 02 2021
Did you hear about the new high school math competition they're calling "extreme "fractioning"?
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︎ May 21 2021
Santa's helpers are having a competition to see who can wrap the most amount of presents this year.
They are having a boxing match.
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︎ May 03 2021
Overheard at a chemistry competition...
British chemist: "I'll kick your arsenic!"
American chemist: "I'll kick your astatine!"
Organic chemist: "I'll kick your acetate!"
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︎ May 09 2021
My friend owns a winery and his wine was picked over others in a wine tasting competition by only one trait...
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︎ May 03 2021
Found out that my nanna used to compete in banana eating competitions until she was caught cheating...
... Then they had to ban nanna
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︎ Mar 23 2021
Dr. Frankenstein entered a bodybuilding competition...
and soon discovered he seriously misunderstood the objective.
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︎ Mar 08 2021
If the winner of a competition cries happy tears, what does the runner up cry?
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︎ Mar 31 2021
I'm currently having a competition with my son before his first birthday;
we're currently tied, but he's almost one.
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︎ Mar 11 2021
When it comes to decorating the Christmas tree, I've got a leg up on the competition. My cat says I passed out under the tree again, but I told her to stop pulling my leg.
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︎ Dec 28 2020
They rescheduled the quarterly pogo stick competition.
They had to wait for the he spring.
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︎ Jan 29 2021
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︎ Feb 21 2021
What happens if a cat wins a dog competition during a tornado?
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︎ Dec 27 2020
Why canβt Satanβs cheerleading squad win any competitions?
Because they have literally no chants in Hell.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
The guy who lost the fishing competition was really upset.
He was totally out of line.
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︎ Nov 09 2020
The toucan once faced fierce competition in it's ecological niche.
Eventually, though, it came to dominate the toucannot.
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︎ Nov 10 2020
I was in a cat competition that wasn't like your typical competition. They had a category for cat butts, which I ended up winning...
But it was just a cat-ass-trophy
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︎ Oct 16 2020
What do you a call a competition for computers?
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︎ Nov 07 2020
The result of an art competition...
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︎ Aug 07 2020
I just won a teddy bear making competition with my kids.
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︎ Sep 13 2020
Did you hear about the punctuation competition?
The winner got an apostrophe.
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︎ Sep 16 2020
How did the bagel shop owner get rid of the competition on his block?
He ran a pretty intense schmear campaign
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︎ Aug 29 2020
Did you hear about all the competition in the outdoor pickled cabbage contest?
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︎ Jul 10 2020
In a Student v.s. Teacher competition
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︎ Sep 24 2020
I just came second in my city's big bubble blowing competition
I came so close to winning but I blew it
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︎ Jun 13 2020
A farmer won a competition. When he was told he won, he was so surprised.
They say he was outstanding in his own field.
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︎ May 31 2020
In a village, far far away, two farmers often had a competition within themselves to see who harvests the most every 6 months.
After failing to win for about 9 times in a row, Jaime, hired a spy who will go and check Jack's harvest the night before the contest so he can harvest more. As the spy came back the night before, he informed the farmer Jaime about the amount that he saw inside Jack's yard but he was not able to tell the amount in exact. Jaime took the spy to his paddy field, gave him some extra money than what they initially agreed upon and said...
"You reap what you saw".
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︎ Jun 19 2020
I refuse to vote for anyone in the dried fruit competition.
There aren't any good candied-dates.
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︎ Jul 15 2020
Whatβs the Highest Level of Competition That a Semi Professional Sauerkraut Pickler Aspires To?
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︎ Jun 11 2020
My son seemed really upset that he came in last at the Karate competition.
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︎ Mar 20 2020
I reattached a cup holder to my son's car seat the other day. My daughter (5yo) taunted him, saying, "I have TWO cup holders!" I told her, "It's not a competition," to which she replied...
"But it is a CUP-etition!"
... I've never been so proud of her.
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︎ Apr 20 2020
I've got a pedigree toothless Norwegian Blue Parrot I want to enter in competitions
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︎ Jul 04 2020
Who would win a racing competition among all the computer devices?
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︎ May 22 2020
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting the 2020 Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
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︎ Mar 28 2020
Recently went to a steak eating competition.
There was a lot of beef between the competitors.
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︎ Feb 22 2020
I won biggest shoe competition
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︎ Jan 26 2020
What do you call a goodlooking winner of a large suntanning competition?
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︎ May 19 2020
What do you say in a sitting competition?
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︎ Apr 21 2020
No one expected me to win the cereal eating competition
...but I've got some Trix up my sleeve
Inspired by a recent post here
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︎ May 18 2020
I submitted nearly a dozen entries to a dad joke competition, hoping one would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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︎ Aug 19 2020
Overheard at an international chemistry competition
Said by a British chemist: "I'll kick your arsenic!"
Said by an American chemist: "I'll kick your astatine!"
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︎ Aug 29 2020
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