Told my kid that I was taking my Mom to a Covid Vaccine event at the convention center.
They said, βOh, a mass shooting.β
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︎ Apr 14 2021
Javelin is the best throwing event.
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︎ Feb 15 2021
My buddy got to the Nissan dealership just in time to buy his truck during a sales event.
It was the Final Frontier
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︎ Jan 28 2021
What's the most popular event at autopsy club?
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︎ Oct 28 2020
A lot of people are shocked by the recent events in NASCAR
What is often characterized as a very conservative organization has taken a stance against racism. I'm not surprised at all though. To anyone who's been paying attention, from its very beginnings, NASCAR has always been veering to the left.
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︎ Jun 22 2020
With so many sporting events canceled, theyβre going to televise the World Origami Championship.
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︎ Aug 21 2020
My Dad(64) always shows up to every event 10 minutes after it's started. We bought him a watch, told him the start time was earlier than it was, we've tried everything, but nothing works...
We just have to accept that he's a Late Boomer.
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︎ Nov 01 2020
The re-opening of LEGO stores was the biggest event of 2020.
People were lined up for blocks!
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︎ Sep 02 2020
What is the frog community's favorite sporting event?
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︎ Oct 31 2020
Iβm gutted I couldnβt go to the cheese tasting event this week
I heard it was a really fondue
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︎ Aug 05 2020
After the events of Avengers: Endgame, Professor Hulk opened a custom woodworking business
It was called Bruce Banisters
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︎ Jun 18 2020
With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the 'World Origami Championships'
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︎ Jul 08 2020
The crossover event weβve all been waiting for.
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︎ Mar 02 2020
Anyone remember the first Lennox Lewis - Evander Holyfield fight? I heard it was a black tie event.
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︎ Apr 21 2020
I failed a health and safety course yesterday. One of the questions was βin the event of a fire, what steps would you take?β
βLarge onesβ was apparently the wrong answer.
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︎ Oct 19 2019
A couple expecting a baby girl made a long list of possible names for a girl child, but only one name in the event that they have a boy. They ended up having a boy.
He was named Justin Case.
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︎ Mar 18 2020
In light of current events, I've been doing some self reflection and I came to the conclusion that I need to be more like a German child.
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︎ Mar 25 2020
What do you call Chef Boyardee products that you stockpile in the event of a quarantine?
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︎ Mar 20 2020
Why is a baby showing the top of its head during labor a significant event?
Because thatβs the babyβs crowning achievement.
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︎ Nov 25 2019
Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?
He was dissed by the prose at a rave.
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︎ Apr 06 2019
What happened when the alligator passed the event horizon?
π︎ 5
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︎ May 20 2019
The World Health Organization is hosting a new event to show their thoughtfulness and concern for human health
The event will be affectionately named WHO Cares
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︎ Jul 06 2019
Getting fire training at work and was asked what steps to take in the event of a fire.
I said BIG ONES in the opposite direction of the fire....apparently the wrong answer.
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︎ Nov 27 2018
In college, I took many classes on the study of past events surrounding scraps of food from a meal
I even changed my major to Ort History!
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︎ Sep 07 2019
My Canadian friend was reluctant to emcee the Young Men's Christian Association event.
His exact words were, "Why emcee, eh?"
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︎ Jun 27 2019
At a formal event, roll your tie up into a little bundle just below the knot.
Then ask someone, "which of the 2 flaps do you think will unravel first?"
After they guess, let in unravel and go, "Its a tie!"
...continue doing this to every single person you can in the room wearing a shit eating grin the whole time, until your wife pulls you aside and tells you it's time to leave (out of embarrassment and frustration).
now you get to go back home and do Dad stuff as you please!
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︎ Jul 15 2019
My brother after watching the winner of a women's swimming event last night
Mom: is that swimmer Russian?
Bro: well.. Not anymore, she finished
Blank stares turned to realizations and then everyone threw stuff at him
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︎ Aug 08 2016
The Queen knighted the first weather event today.
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 18 2019
Did you know the 1936 Berlin Olympics had the 100m sprint as the only running event?
Hitler only wanted one race in Berlin
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︎ Dec 30 2018
Freestyle rap is being added as an event at the Special Olympics
It's a great way to showcase people with dis abilities.
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︎ Sep 02 2016
Do you think geologists have an event around this time of the year called Arch Madness?
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︎ Mar 08 2019
What did the mushroom say to his friends when they were going to an event without him?
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︎ Dec 30 2018
Did you miss the big black hole picture event yesterday?
Don't worry, there is another one on the horizon
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︎ Apr 11 2019
If a Russian athlete wins in a Pyeongchang event, does that mean they're Medaling with the Olympics?
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︎ Feb 10 2018
The baseball team were part of a charity event
but right off the bat, you could see that they weren't pitching in.
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︎ Jan 13 2019
Why don't you normally see birds near the field at sporting events
Because they prefer the cheep cheap seats
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︎ Sep 05 2018
The re-opening of Lego stores was a big event
Really
Oh yeah, people were lined up for blocks
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︎ Jun 07 2020
With so many supporting events being canceled, they're going to televise the World Origami Championships.
π︎ 9
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︎ Jul 06 2020
LEGO stores reopening will be one of the biggest events of 2020
People will be lined up for blocks
π︎ 12
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︎ Jun 15 2020
With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the World Origami Championship.
π︎ 8
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︎ Jun 23 2020
With so many sporting events being cancelled theyβre having to televise the World Origami Championship...
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︎ Apr 07 2020
With so many sporting events being cancelled, they're having to televise the world origami championships.
π︎ 7
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︎ Apr 26 2020
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