He calls it "Asif Eye Care".
Cantelope
The invention of the wheel.
Nothing, it's acci-dental
They said, “Oh, a mass shooting.”
Auntie climb attic.
But then, hindsight is always 2020.
It was the Final Frontier
A disasteroid
A coping saw!
What is often characterized as a very conservative organization has taken a stance against racism. I'm not surprised at all though. To anyone who's been paying attention, from its very beginnings, NASCAR has always been veering to the left.
Open Mike night.
It can get re-heated the next day as well
We're called Linkedin Park
He liked to keep up with current events
It’s on Paperview
People were lined up for blocks!
We just have to accept that he's a Late Boomer.
It was pretty em-bare-ass-ing.
Edit: May or may not be based on real events.
Marsh Madness
It's a Stark reminder.
Discuss
A spec-tater!
So nobody notices his forepaws.
So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
People were lined up for blocks.
I heard it was a really fondue
Just let me know if you can't come.
Talking amongst the office about current events and the Matt Gaetz scandal came up.
Coworker "An older guy in power taking advantage of young women? That's a tale as old as time..."
Me "From what I've seen the tail wasn't even 18..."
It was called Bruce Banisters
It's on paperview
It has been an unconventional year.
It makes people uncomfortable when they see you mask debating in public.
Dad told me I should weigh the pros and cons first.
Really
Oh yeah, people were lined up for blocks
It will be on Paperview.
People will be lined up for blocks
