A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
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📅︎ Nov 09 2018
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My girlfriend complained to me that it's such a rare occurrence when we have steaks

I'll try to make it a medium rare occurrence next time.

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👤︎ u/athalean
📅︎ May 16 2017
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I was in a china shop the other day

Suddenly, the shop started shaking like we were in an earthquake.

I asked the salesperson if that was a normal occurrence, to which he replied

"Bull!"

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📅︎ Dec 07 2018
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my sister just said 'hey, these pants only have one back pocket."

I told her "right, butt... Do they have a left one?"

Actually occurrence, figured you would enjoy.

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📅︎ May 19 2018
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A costumer got me today

So I was working in the soup and sandwich area of the food chain I work for. A man comes up and asks what soups we have today, which is a common occurrence.

Me: We have chicken noodle, cream of broccoli and...that's it.

Him: oh, I'll have that's it.

It took a minute to realized I just got hit with a dad joke and cracked up. When I hand him his food I made sure to tell him "Here is your that's it" we were both grinning ear to ear from it.

He basically made my night do a 180° with that joke. Thanks random dad for making my night!

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📅︎ Dec 28 2015
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an actual joke my dad made at work today

My father and I work together laying floors. Today we had to work in a unit that a cat had badly soiled; a regular occurrence. In these situations we are payed to seal the floor with sealant.

My dad went to get sealant and walked in with CEILING PAINT.

"This will seal it right? It says ceiling."

If i didnt need his help today I would have told him to leave.

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👤︎ u/RickSlimes
📅︎ Oct 04 2016
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I actually made my wife laugh with this one

Wife: You were crying in your sleep last night.

Me: Really? That's crazy. (NOTE: It's actually crazy, this is not a common occurrence for me)

Wife: Yeah, like sobbing or crying or something.

Me: You might say I had a... nocturnal emotion.

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📅︎ Dec 07 2013
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Got my wife on the road last weekend

Taking a long road trip with our almost 2-year-old in the backseat. Shoe comes flying up into my wife's lap. This is a common occurrence.

Wife: "Why does he always take off his right shoe?"

Me: "Because he knows better than to take off the wrong one?"

She threw the shoe at my head. He laughed. It was worth it.

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📅︎ Sep 04 2014
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So son, what did you learn at school today?

Me: Errr....

Dad: Ah, err, wasn't until I was nearly finished with school till I learnt all there was to err.

This was a daily occurrence between my dad and me.

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👤︎ u/Mullza
📅︎ Mar 15 2014
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funniest joke in the world

Not only has my dad told ME this joke a million times, he tells it to every new person he meets. All of them. Best occurrence was the first time I'd brought a new girlfriend to dinner.

How do you get a one armed man out of a tree?

You wave.

Key him cracking up and my girlfriend going (in what I suppose is an ironically placed dad joke), how did your son end up not funny? Did someone wave at you when you were carrying him?

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👤︎ u/torerador
📅︎ Oct 01 2013
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