Everyone at my therapist’s office hates it when I stand on one corner of the room and blow air at people.
Hope this one doesn’t blow up on me.
A geology/geography/aerodynamics study that a sandstorm in Africa can blow sand and dust as far as to even Florida
So anyways, I dust the grains down from africa
Why did the referee blow a whistle on a chicken?
No way to cushion the blow
What should you say if a tornado blows off 25% of your roof?
I post a pun everyday on this subreddit hoping it’ll blow but I’m disappointed.. every time!
Best mow and blow on the westside
My OCD stricken friend blows off stress by repeatedly hitting F5.
He says he finds it refreshing.
I told him he needs help, now he keeps hitting F1.
How did the Gardener blow a whistle
A power plant blows up near a aquarium...
and I had to be the one to tell my boss about the mutated eels. After I gathered all my courage, I said to him
“Sir, the eels have fur all over them and are humanoid too!”
My boss looked so surprised, and was silent for a minute or two. Finally, he asked me
People usually say, “let’s blow this popsicle stand,” when they are at a place where people are cold and have the proverbial, “stick up their ass.”
I blow into a dog whistle every time I see the sun setting
It's always nice to end the day on a high note
What do you call a dinosaur that blows up?
My wife likes it when I blow air on her when she's hot, but honestly I'm not a fan.
Wife said she gets turned on if I blow on her neck during sex.
I guess I just blow at whistling
My boss warned me that I shouldn’t blow the whistle in the office anymore. He gave me one last chance.
But unfortunately, I blew it
I like to stand in the corner at parties and blow on anyone who walks by.
People hate it, but I’m a fan.
Can you tell me what metal blows up when it reacts with water?
what is six inches long with a head on it ,that women like to blow?
Why did the vegetable hospital blow up?
Because someone dropped a sick beet
russian girls always blow me away
Looking for a good way to blow some money?
I blow kisses at my favorite artists when they're on stage.
Guess you can say that I'm a fan
Why did Marilyn Monroe'd skirt blow up when we met?
Why can cows blow up randomly?
Because they're usually in stables.
Why did the President of the U.S. blow hot air up his dog's bum?
Have you heard of the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.
If you don't get this post I might blow a fusilli.
"Did you blow bubbles as a kid?"
"Well, of course I did."
"Well, he's back in town and wants your number."
My dad told this joke to me for the first time when I was like 10.
If Yellowstone blows...
It'll be a big ash eruption.
What do you call a guy who blows all his money on jackets at the advice of a psychic?
My wife had a Tic Tac before she gave me a blow job.
It was quite a predicament...
When the leaves are falling, the setting sun casts shadows across the hills, and a warm breeze blows, ain't that just...
I had to blow up my the tyres on my car the other day...
I came home afterwards "Done it?" he said.
Me - "Yeah, bit of a piss take though, cost me 50p just for some air."
"Well, that's inflation for you."
Good one, Dad.
Did you hear that they’re making a vacuum cleaner that just blows air?
Surprisingly, it doesn’t suck
So it's my boys birthday and my wife reminds me to blow up some balloons ..
Minds gets to pondering next minute I say to her "the balloons seem to be wounded... should I helium?"
I'm certain the groan could be heard from blocks away!
For all those people who's tents blow away in a storm while they are asleep
Shouldn't you be a bit more a-tent-ive?
Those soldiers thought they could blow up that submarine with their bomb...
but they needed to sea mine
My wife: Your gift blows really hard.
She must love her new hair dryer.
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
This pun is like my vacuum cleaner. It blows a lot of hot air, but ends up sucking.
Remember when you were little and used to blow bubbles?
Me: "Yeah, why?"
Dad: "Well he's back in town and wants your number!"
My dad swooped in for the killing blow today
My mom said she was making Indian food tonight, including naan. I asked if she had all the "naan-essentials." She made an angry noise. "Sorry," I said, "was that a naan-sequitor?"
My dad happened to walk in just then. "Punish him!" my mom said to him.
"He keeps making puns!" My dad paused for a moment.
"Sounds like he's the one pun-ishing you."
What did the vacuum say when the blow dryer took him to see a cheesy movie?
What did the blow dryer say in retort?
I told my father in law that I had to go blow my nose.
"Alright, just don't let it blow away"
I always laugh when my toddler blows his nose on my wife's clothes.
Schnotenfreude is wrong but I just can't stop myself.
My uncle laid this one on his son's girlfriend while in a food coma, laying on a blow up mattress in the living room
Uncle: Hey K, did you know I once petitioned to change the name of Uranus?
K (the girlfriend): Oh really, what were you trying to change it to?
My wife likes it when I blow air on her when she's hot,
but honestly I'm not a fan.