I am absolutely blown away...
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flyer_of_Planes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
🚨︎ report
He has blown away his competitors.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2018
🚨︎ report
When the weatherman said there was a tornado in the area I was blown away.
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ailyara
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
The Lone Ranger woke to see that his tent had blown away by a tornado...

He decided,"Tonto,we're not in canvas anymore!"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the President say when his prepared remarks got blown away by the wind?

Nothing, he was speechless.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Liams_Nissan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
My new fan purchase has truly blown me away
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nonixious
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report
A terrorist walks into a bar and says I'm so excited to show everyone this cool bomb they're gonna be blown away!!
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife is totally blown away by all the cute cat pictures on Reddit.

She's in aww.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2015
🚨︎ report
I used to be a magician, but there was an explosion in my equipment

My audience was blown away

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/qarasaq
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Race horse Pat

There was a race horse named Pat, who was one of the greatest race horses to ever live. He set records that were near impossible to beat. After a long time of racing, he retired to an old stable with some old friends. They were very happy that he retired there to stay with him, and congratulated him on all of his records that he set.

Once Pat retired, he started keeping track of all the up and coming horses that were winning a lot. There was a race horse named Charlie that was doing really great and winning all his races. Pat saw this horse and watched him race. Charlie started to break all of Pat’s records and Pat was a little upset with this.

After a while, Charlie decided to retire after an extremely successful career in racing. By chance, Charlie decided to retire at the same stable that Pat retired in. When Charlie entered the stable, everyone went up to him to congratulate him on his records and wins. Pat went up to Charlie and said, β€œHey Charlie congratulations on all of your wins! You broke a lot of my records and I was very impressed.” Charlie responds, β€œgo away old man, I’m better than you ever were.” Pat was blown away by his response. He galloped away from Charlie with defeat.

After a while of thinking, Pat decides to challenge Charlie to a race. Charlie agreed to it and wanted to race right away. He said β€œWe will race to the tree over there and turn around and come back and whoever gets there first will be the winner.” Pat was still healthy but he needed a few weeks to get his legs back into shape for the race. Charlie gives Pat 2 weeks to get ready.

After 2 weeks pass, they are ready to race. β€œHey Pat, before we race I want to warn you that I win my races by passing them by the end. So don’t get all cocky and think you are going to win.” Charlie says. Pat thanks him for the warning and they start getting set to race.

The gun sounds and they are off to race. Pat starts out in front, and nears the finish. Out of know where, Charlie zooms ahead of Pat and wins the race.

Pat was very disappointed in his loss, but congratulated Charlie anyways. A dog comes up to them and says, β€œWow, that was a fantastic race! Neither of you should be upset with that. You both were so great!” Charlie looks to Pat and Pat looks to Charlie. They are astonished. Charlie says, β€œSay that again! Say it again!” The dog says a little confused, β€œWell I just said that you both were so great out there.” Pat says, β€œCharlie! It’s a talking dog!”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnappyOrange69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I am trying to get tornado insurance for my campsite, but the companies keep denying my application.

They told me, β€œIf your tent gets blown away, you won’t be covered.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a magician yesterday that turned audience members into wind turbines.

I immediately became a big fan.

πŸ‘︎ 218
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Flurr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2018
🚨︎ report
The shovel was a groundbreaking invention

But everyone was blown away by the leaf blower.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The first guy that figured out how to split an atom,

must’ve been blown away

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xJacon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad joked my girlfriend

My girlfriend and I were in the car today and were discussing peanut butter in shakes. I said that I didn't like the concept, and she replied that she's a big fan. So I grabbed her hand and began fanning myself with it. I was met with the classic sigh and eye roll combo.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buffalo_Gator
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2014
🚨︎ report
I went to a fireworks store yesterday looking for a deal

I was blown away

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SensationNation
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday

She wasn’t blown away

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/McAnixza
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
A man comes up with a great idea for a new shipping method

A young man comes up with a great idea for a new shipping method. He designs everything himself, hires people to create models, and deduces that he can use old fashioned boating technology to increase shipping speeds by up to 350%. This is obviously a great innovation, so he calls up a former Business professor from college and gets into contact with a manufacturer. The manufacturer makes the man come in and present his design to the board of directors, so they schedule a meeting in two weeks.

At the meeting, the board is blown away. The man’s charisma, design, and equations all point to a massive innovation in shipping. The company is poised to make a huge profit. Construction starts immediately.

On his flight back, the man happens to sits next to his old buddy from high school, Jimmy. Jimmy tells the man that he has just blown the farming world wide open. His new GMO potato produces five times as much energy and has been the talk of the world. Jimmy says that all the news outlets have been reporting potatoes to be the next big superfood, and his design is poised to make him millions, if not billions of dollars. Jimmy pitches the man for the entire plane ride, and convinced him. They hop on the next flight back to visit the board of directors once again. The board is shocked. Both ideas stand to make billions of dollars for the company, but there is one slight problem.

The CEO says to the man, β€œwe know you have these two ideas. However, we can only allocate enough resources to make one of them profitable. I recommend you take some time off and really decide which of these ideas you want our company to produce. We can schedule a meeting in a few weeks if that works for you.”

The man says right back to the CEO, β€œI’m going to take a walk and clear my head. This is a big decision” and walks right out of the room.

Not even five seconds later the man comes back into the room and says β€œI’ve made my decision. Let’s go with the shipping method.” This shocks the CEO, who says β€œare you sure?? This is a billion dollar decision and you only took five seconds to think about it.”

The man looks back at him and says β€œwell, in this business time is moneyβ€” so I decided to make my decision schooner rather than tater”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BearGuru
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
A date once told me she can talk to shoes

I was blown away when she showed me how to converse.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumbusername483
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I just started a successful aircon company

We have a lot of fans, and the critics were blown away!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sl4yer04
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Dorothy think about her experiences in the Land of Oz?

She was blown away.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RagingDraugr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad told me an old one he once said to a friend

The two were ice fishing, and the wind had blown away some patches that became really slippery, and the two of them weren't wearing any boot spikes. Dad slips and falls right on his chin, seeing stars and nearly passed out. tries to get up but can't, just lays face down on the ice for a bit to get his bearings.

Friend: Hey Bill you alright?

Dad: Yeah I'm fine, I got ice on it.

apparently the friend laughed so hard he slipped and fell on the ice as well

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iceman19-2000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2013
🚨︎ report
I've got one...

When I was younger my dad would always sing this jingle

"Shes got freckles on her but shes pretty." and I kind of always giggled.

fast forward like 3 more years and he sings it one day and I am blown away as I realize he was saying the entire time "Shes got freckles on her butt, shes pretty"

Also he used to close his right eye while driving and told me he closed both of them and to tell him which direction to steer. I was like 4-6 and barley knew left from right, especially under stress. I always freaked out. He had a great time with it. I can't wait to do these things to my kids.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mad_V
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2013
🚨︎ report
Just got my wife and son with this beauty "I watched gone with the wind for the first time the other day"

"I was blown away"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sticky_bud
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2015
🚨︎ report
Dad starting my vacation off right.

I've just landed in Keflavik to spend three weeks in Iceland. My folks wanted to be updated during the trip so I sent a text home: "Landed safely. Fuck me it's windy" Dad's immediate reply? "I see you're blown away by the country already. Have a great trip."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aunty_strophe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2013
🚨︎ report
I was trying to get tornado insurance for my campsite, but I was refused.

The company said, β€œIf your tent gets blown away, you won’t be covered.”

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to get tornado insurance for my camp site, but the bank refused.

They said, β€œIf your tent gets blown away, you won’t be covered.”

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
The shovel was a ground breaking invention

But everyone was blown away by the leaf blower.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Admblackhawk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I tried to buy some tornado insurance for my campsite, but the company refused.

They said, β€œIf your tents get blown away, you won’t be covered.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to get some storm insurance for my campsite, but I was denied.

They said that if my tents get blown away, I won’t be covered.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
🚨︎ report

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