To those worried about eating salad after the recent e coli outbreaks, I have three words for you.

Lettuce romaine calm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
There’s another bacterial salad outbreak...

Yet lettuce romaine calm πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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Since the start of the Covid outbreak I own the quietest bar in the land....

Bar none.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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Did you hear about the diarrhoea outbreak at the journalist convention?

It’s all over the news!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.

It helps me namaste at home.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UndaVosari
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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During this outbreak, we must follow all directions from the Police

So don't stand so close to me

πŸ‘︎ 156
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mhummel
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak ?

They stay in Quran-tine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMatrix1101
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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I heard that during this virus outbreak, we shouldn't use the same faucets as other people.

It's something called social distance sink.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flamenico
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
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Sweden is having a bad outbreak of the Krona virus.

I have no IKEA when it will be Finnished.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IllegallySneezy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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There are reports that, because of the covid outbreak, Rick Astley is hoarding copies of a 2009 Pixar film, and all albums by a southern metal band from New Orleans. He is not allowing anyone to borrow them. It's also said that Mr. Astley is refusing to go out and purchase cake for others.

To summarize:

He's never gonna give you Up

Never gonna lend you Down

Never gonna run around, and dessert you.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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Did you know that flight simulator game sales have increased since the outbreak?

A lot of pilots are working from home too!

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πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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Apparently, if the Coronavirus outbreak gets worse, they might have to cancel all the flights in and out of John Lennon airport.

Imagine all the people.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jr1477
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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Q: what kind of humor is the CDC recommending during the Coronavirus outbreak?

A: inside jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aaron_in_sf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
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During this virus outbreak, I'll be isolated with my bottles of booze.

I call it my... liqourantine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSygil
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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There has been an outbreak of mad cow disease in Austria.

The hills are alive with the sound of moo sick

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Fresh Thyme blackberries linked to hepatitis A outbreak in three states.

This is berry bad news

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FaceInTheCloudz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
One time I caused a massive cold outbreak in school when I lived in MA

I made Massachusetts live up to its name.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coconutcrackin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a Pokemon call a herpes outbreak?

Bulbasores

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πŸ‘€︎ u/craigilla
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
How do data scientists quantify rabies outbreaks?

In megabytes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
With the new e.coli outbreak in romaine lettuce, it is really confusing me that the CDC is telling everyone to toss salad...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notwutiwantd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
The news just commented on the outbreak of measles and those who don't get vaccinated.

Those people make me sick...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/C_McD_is_me
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I really hope that there isn't a mad cow disease outbreak

It would leave udder destruction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoOneLikesJack
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a massive outbreak of women who enjoy their time?

A fungal infection

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rCak3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
These days, doctors are not too concerned about bird flu outbreaks.

Because it is Tweetable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2018
🚨︎ report
We were talking about norovirus outbreaks on Carnival cruises at dinner

My dad says, "That's why it's important to keep it in ship shape".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MCMXChris
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2014
🚨︎ report
I’m really worried about eating salads after this E. Coli outbreak.

But lettuce romaine calm !!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedMusical
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
There has been an outbreak of bovine viruses in Austria.

The hills are alive with the sound of moo sick

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πŸ‘€︎ u/creamspinachplz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2017
🚨︎ report
I'm really worried about this ecoli outbreak

But lettuce romaine calm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PuffaDay
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2018
🚨︎ report

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