Just heard there is a geezer down the market selling Oxford vaccination for £2 each
This vaccination VW Beetle: "The Flu Bug"
How do you classify the anti-vaccination movement?
Vaccinations may not cause autism, but I am still strongly against them
When I first got vaccinated I couldn’t walk or even talk for a year and a half.
I’ve never made jokes about anti-vaccination people.
But I am thinking of giving them a shot.
My wife took my son to the doctor today to get his vaccinations.
She text me, “he got three shots”
So I text back, “isn’t he a little young to be drinking?”
I dont agree with giving my kids vaccinations.
Told my dad I was taking my 2 kittens in for their vaccinations today, he emailed me this in return
"I was thinking that when you take your cat to the vets in the car, does that make it a carpet?"
Thanks, dad.
My vaccine dad joke failed
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
I'll never vaccinate my kids, that's stupid, irresponsible, and dangerous.
I'd get the doctor to do it.
Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.
I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter
I guess if you get vaccinated you won’t be headed to the ICU.
If this new covid vaccine works...
...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.
With all the talk of the pandemic and vaccines recently, I decided to consult a micro-biologist.
I thought they'd be smaller.
I absolutely refuse to vaccinate my kids.
I'll have the doctor do it instead; he's trained for it.
Russia has started to vaccinate the inhabitants with their own vacation
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
Letting you all know that I've volunteered for the Russian vaccine trials held here in Melbourne. I received my first shot at 9.00 am this morning
It’s completely safe with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and im currently feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил ослиные уши.
You know what it's called when you hurry to develop a vaccine?
Why did the Russian vaccine cross the road?
To get to the other side effects.
~~ brazenly stolen from Alexa with my own twist.
When the first company develops the Coronavirus vaccine we should all proclaim: "Covidatulations"
Russian COVID-19 Vaccine
Quick PSA: I had the Russian Covid19 vaccination yesterday and can tell you there are absolutely no negative sideffski efectovski secundariosvki Кто может это прочитать, это уродливый парень. Обожаю Владимира Путина!
I created a vaccine for apathy,
unfortunately no one seems interested.
If Russia wants to be the first country to produce a vaccine ...
I have decided not to vaccinate my kids.
I believe it's best to let the doctor do it.
Edit: Thanks for the Silver :)
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
What type of person speeds up vaccine development?
I heard a country finally has a Corona vaccine...
I think they’re Russian it. The leader vaccinated his daughter, I guess he’s Putin her life at stake.
What did Russian do after they made the vaccine ?
Coronavirus vaccine
Heard Russia has the vaccine to Coronavirus. I'm probably not Putin that into my body.
My dad was telling me about his doctor’s appointment today. He needed to get some vaccines, but because of Covid he would have to go to the office and they would give them to him in his car.
He said he was going to be involved in a drive by shooting.
To get an anti-vaxxer's kid vaccinated...
...we could go up to their house, find an open window and vaccinate the kid using a 10 foot syringe.
I know it's a long shot.
How did they develop the covid vaccine so quickly?
I told my wife I'll never vaccinate our kids
She freaked out and shouted "What?!!! Why??!!!"
I told her:
"I would rather have a doctor do that"
My doctor asked if I wanted to test a coronavirus vaccine.
I figure it's worth a shot.
Santa will not have to quarantine when entering different countries
He has gotten the vaccine and now has santybodies
Hey kids! I went back in time and formed a British 80s pop group called The Vaccine!
And now The Cure is no longer necessary!
You know, I’m really getting into all this stuff going on about Moderna, Pfizer, BioNTech and AstraZeneca...
I find it absolutely vaccinating
What do you call doctors who make vaccines for the flu?
Why do anti vaxxers hate vaccine jokes?
Just heard there's a guy down Borough market selling Oxford vaccinations for £2 each...
The vaccine should be tested on politicians first
If they survive the vaccine is safe but if they don't the country is safe
A bit nervous, but yesterday I volunteered for the COVID-19 vaccine trials.
The vaccine is one that was created in Russia. I received my first shot this morning at 7:00 am, and I wanted to let you all know that it’s completely safe, with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил ослиные уши.
This week I volunteered for the Russian developed Covid-19 vaccine...
I received my first shot yesterday at 4:00 pm, and I wanted to let you all know that it’s completely safe, with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил ослиные уши.
I won't vaccinate my children
I will have the doctor do it.
I won't vaccinate my kids it's way to dangerous
I'd rather let the doctor do it
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