What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
I went to a dance club with the Flu....
Pamdemic, she's much worse than the flu!
Have you heard about Ozzy Osbourne’s new concept album about Donald Trump’s attack of gastric flu?
It’s called Diarrhoea of a Madman
I dun made dat un up mah-self
I caught the flu at an airport once.
It was a terminal illness.
(Special thanks to my dog's friend's dad for this one)
Had a dream yesterday. It was year 2021, There was a new pandemic of stomach flu...
We all had to wear diapers and we quickly recognised that masks in 2020 were not that bad.
What do you call the joker if he got a flu?
I think the flu is tired of humans
He said "I'm sick of you all"
I have a joke about the flu....
But I hope you dont get it.
One Flu Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Everybody was Kung Flu Fighting
I took my 1 year old to the ER with the flu. As the nurse was taking her temperature rectally with the thermometer in the butt, he sympathized with her misery by saying “I know, it stinks.”
To which I responded “It certainly will when you take it out.” I accepted the long awkward silence that followed as thunderous applause.
My wife started coming down with the flu, and I asked if she'd had some citrus. "Oh, I forgot," she said. To which I replied:
"Orange you glad I reminded you?"
Flu Shot
I got the flu vaccination, but I got sick anyway, so I guess it was all in vein
What do you call doctors who make vaccines for the flu?
One of my favourite dad jokes from the early 00’s: In an attempt to stop the spread of bird flu
President Bush has bombed the Canary Islands. Turkey is next!
What do you call someone who copies and pastes a flu epidemic?
What do you get when you cross the flu with footwear?
What strain of flu is most Canadian?
I hear the United States is well stocked for a bird-of-prey flu epidemic...
There are plenty of ill eagle drugs for just such emergency.
Just found out I have a cold and the stomach flu.
I’ve got the Friday Night Blights
What do you call an influencer who has the flu?
What do you call a person who spreads flu?
My American friend had her flu shot
I just use antibiotics, in Europe we don't need guns for everything
This vaccination VW Beetle: "The Flu Bug"
Did you hear that the Pope has the avian bird flu?
He got it from one of the cardinals
How did the pope get the bird flu?
What do you give a porcupine when he has the flu?
Did you hear about the gingerbreadman flu strain
Don't worry, you won't catch it.
Why does flu go viral
Because it comes from influenzas
2018 was not a good year for me. I spent half of the year on the couch with the flu.
You could say I was ill for a full sicks months.
This time of year, everyone should know the symptoms of the Amish flu.
First you get a little horse, then a little buggy.
I went to a party with the Flu....
What's the difference between swine flu and avian influenza?
One requires oinkment, the other requires tweetment.
Bird flu
Bird ded.
Bird fly no more.
What's the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?
The bird flu requires tweetment but the swine flu just requires a little oinkment.
What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?
One requires tweetment, the other requires oinkment.
What's the difference between the bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One's cured with tweetment, the other, oinkment.
What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?
One gets prescribed oinkment, and the other requires some sort of other tweetment.
How did the pope get the bird flu?
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