Every year on Ash Wednesday, my friend stops using isopropyl in lieu of dryer fluff...

He gives up alcohol for lint.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Not a joke: does anyone have any Dad jokes that I can use on my 5-year-old? I see maybe one joke per week on here that she would understand. Do we need a r/youngerdadjokes?

Punchline

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tippopotamus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I wrote an article on pillows

It was really just a fluff piece

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife bought 9 pillows for our bed claiming it's a necessary aesthetic

But I think it's unnecessary fluff.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AureliusCM
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an acid with an attitude?

a-mean-o-acid

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/13Ergophobia
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
When regularly checking in on my bedridden girlfriend

I did my best owl impression, complete with hooting noises and flappy wings, whilst offering tea, backrubs and pillow fluffs. When she finally asked what I was doing I replied "my owly check".

I'd like to say the groan was due to ailment, but it was all me.

πŸ‘︎ 410
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Beardy_Will
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2016
🚨︎ report
What's blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint

πŸ‘︎ 121
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elucify
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2013
🚨︎ report
What’s pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff. What’s yellow and fluffy? Yellow fluff. What’s blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding it’s breath

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/karenbradshaw85
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Not a dad yet, but I can feel the terrible puns trying to break free.

Tried a new pillow last night and when I woke up today my wife asked me if I thought it was comfortable enough. "It has it's fluffs and downs" I said. Much eye rolling was had.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GazelleThree
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2014
🚨︎ report
I couldn't be prouder of my wife.

Watching the local news and they come to their end of the broadcast fluff piece. Tonight it was about a farmer growing a 2000lb pumpkin.

Me: "Wow"

Her: "Oh my gourd!"

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DV8_2XL
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2014
🚨︎ report
What’s pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2018
🚨︎ report
What's pink and fluffy ?

Pink fluff

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EdGacey
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.