Flush Puns

A list of puns related to "Flush"

My kid keeps forgetting to flush the toilet after he takes a dump.

"That shit is getting old," I told him.

PS: Do I get any extra credit if this is a real story?

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👤︎ u/cja1968
📅︎ Dec 19 2020
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I love a royal flush!

It means a great deal to me.

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👤︎ u/Sir_Pluses
📅︎ Nov 25 2020
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My wife wanted to buy a ceiling light. She said, “this one comes with a hanging chain but I think we should just mount it flush with the ceiling.”

I said, “that would be off the chain.”

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👤︎ u/zedhead0628
📅︎ May 23 2020
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For those hoarding mouthwash: Remember that you should never flush Listerine® down the toilet.

It's an anti-septic.

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👤︎ u/PotBuzz
📅︎ Mar 19 2020
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Why did Captain Kirk flush the brand new toilet?

Because William Shatner

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👤︎ u/marycartlizer
📅︎ Dec 14 2019
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What did the pregnant mare say when she gave birth upon being dealt a royal flush?

"I foaled."

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Mar 22 2020
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Bob Dylan bought a watch made of a toilet flush and Bombay Sapphire.

The times they are a chain gin.

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Dec 30 2019
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Why did the soldier flush the toilet?

Because it was his duty.

👍︎ 1k
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👤︎ u/Liquid5n0w
📅︎ Sep 24 2016
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I should have known better than to flush my wooden shoes down the toilet.

Now it's clogged.

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👤︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
📅︎ May 28 2019
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I suppose a flush can beat a full house if...

...one is a plumber.

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👤︎ u/JadedByEntropy
📅︎ Sep 19 2019
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Never flush a snake down the toilet.

It’ll just come back to bite you.

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👤︎ u/ollydudman
📅︎ Aug 10 2019
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As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush (good horror movie titles, btw)...

It's plumb crazy, but I have pipe dreams!

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Jul 28 2019
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Why did the superhero flush the toilet

Because it was his doody!

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👤︎ u/harperph17
📅︎ Jun 28 2019
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How does Chuck Norris flush the toilet?

He doesn't, he scares the living shit out of it

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👤︎ u/Chezpoof
📅︎ Dec 24 2018
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Every time I flush the toilet...

Shit goes down

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👤︎ u/1insevenbillion
📅︎ May 19 2017
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Never flush a danish shoe

You'll clog the toilet

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👤︎ u/PaxPaw
📅︎ Apr 05 2018
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What do you get when bloods and crips don’t flush the toilet?

a whole lotta gang shit

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👤︎ u/jnnx3
📅︎ Dec 05 2017
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I got a pear stuck in my toilet. All I needed to do was flush and it was gone.

Because a flush always beats a pair.

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👤︎ u/NintendoNerd101
📅︎ Nov 11 2017
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Somewhere in my head I apologize to the people at the water treatment plant every time I flush...

I mean that's a... crappy job.

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👤︎ u/Gamerchris360
📅︎ Feb 02 2017
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I only buy the really good toilet paper when I'm feeling flush.
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👤︎ u/RUSTY_LEMONADE
📅︎ Oct 08 2015
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