I helped my wife drain the pasta last night...

Sieve-alry is not dead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sjmaeff
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2021
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So Covid and homeschool overwhelmed, I need to schedule a reminder to drain their Mac & Cheese.

I had to create a Google Colander entry to remind me...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thermbug
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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There’s some money down the drain
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charltskisaurus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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When a clogged drain killed his family, a clog far past the u-bend & far beyond justice, he knew had to take matters into his own filthy hands. He had to become...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zagmut
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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What did the pasta say after the chef didn't drain all the water?

"I'm getting a re-straining order!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChildishhReddit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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I would like a set of containers for my kitchen. I would like to store my baking soda, borax, milk of magnesia, drain cleaner, and ammonia. Most importantly, they need to have very secure lids.

I like to keep all my bases covered.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Legitimate-Hair
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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And then go down the drain.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yugvijay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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My wife and kids laughed when they saw me chase a penny which rolled down the drain.

They were having fun at my ex pence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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What do you call glasses that drain your energy?

Pair o' sights!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MobileSunflower
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
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My neighbour came over to ask if I'd help him drain pasta at the weekend.

I told him I'd have to check my colander.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LikeThosePenguins
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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I have a cyst on my back and my wife helped me drain it. She won the pun war that night.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yme159753
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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what did the storm drain say when it learnt it'd be getting a new cover?

That's just grate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyrannosaur85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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I blessed the drains down in Africa
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iandouglas
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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As I stared at the hot water flowing towards my shower drain I realized something.

It's all downhill from here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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Sink was clogged so I bought off-brand Liquid Plumber. Boy was that money down the drain.
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.

I said I'd check my colander.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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Money down the drain
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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My mom had plumbers stop at the house to fix the drain. They made so much noise!

She told em to pipe down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
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The quality of puns in this sub have really gone down the drain... just let that sink in.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cesoir
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2014
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What should you do before buying a new drain stopper for your sink?

First you should take it out for a spin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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I bless the drains down in Africa imgur.com/gallery/u6TIQHQ
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iandouglas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
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I had the world’s best showerthought but it got washed down the drain. Now it’s just a pipe dream.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SettingsData
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2017
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Amazing fact: right now, there's a basin with a drain pipe and faucet waiting outside your front door.

Let that sink in

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
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What do you call a knight doctor that drains many abscesses?

Sir Lancelot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dyspaereunia
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
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Had to repair the drain today imgur.com/TUDBTLI
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nelson_Pancakes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2016
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My dad dumps expired peas down the drain. Then he looks at me and says:

β€œHey, I peed in the sink”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iswaterreallywet
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
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The neighborhood had some new drains for rain water put in...

It was a grate idea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1Man1Mission
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2017
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Bought drain plugs

They were to small, so i respond with well there goes $0.99 down the drain

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tank_yhou
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2017
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Donald Trump sure did drain the swamp all right ...

right into HIS CABINET!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phish_tacos
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2017
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"I unclogged the drain with a vacuum cleaner,"

John said succinctly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/loki143
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2016
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Friend told me their Beta Fish jumped down the drain):

I said "Maybe it's Beta off now. In a Beta place."

He said I was a terrible person. So then I said "I wouldn't Beta-n these jokes getting and happier"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timebomb_baby
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2015
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This one when down the drain

I was getting my five year old son out of the bathtub tonight, and we started the water draining while he dried off. The army of bath toys slowly made their way to the drain end of the tub, when I noticed things had slowed down a little bit. I fished around and found a plastic toy seal had blocked the drain. Picking it up, I said "looks like the drain has been sealed".

My son looks at me for a moment, and as soon as the penny drops and he gets it he starts cracking up. Several attempts were made to re-seal the drain after that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zeronine
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2014
🚨︎ report

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