I think of this whenever I hear the term IV drip
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👤︎ u/MOO0505
📅︎ Apr 05
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Drip is eternal
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👤︎ u/moses10960
📅︎ Jan 13 2020
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Picture Perfect Puns

Ancient Scot Richard's Warriors: Dick's Picts

Loki - Trick pics (from my brother)

Pictures of an Adam Sandler movie: "Click" pics.

Pictures of a Kaitlin Olson character: The Mick's pics

Screenahots of these comments: Wit pics

Leaky faucet: drip pics

X1 Cumberbatch photos: Benedict pics

X2 Pope photos: Benedict pics (also works)

X3 Turncoat snaps: Benedict pics

X4 "Wong" image: Benedict pics

Legal command: Writ pics

Pictures of twigs: Stick pics

A Christmas Story scene: lick pics

Pictures of a Winter Saint: Nick pics

Syringe photos: prick pics (from a friend)

Sporting goods store images: Dick's pics.

Dan Harmon cartoon character: Rick's pics.

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👤︎ u/AndySkibba
📅︎ Feb 18
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What goes in dry and hard, but comes out soft and dripping wet?

Spaghetti, obviously!

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📅︎ Sep 10 2019
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As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush (good horror movie titles, btw)...

It's plumb crazy, but I have pipe dreams!

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📅︎ Jul 28 2019
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Doctor: Your brain seems to have deleted all information about 80s music!

Me: Yikes! What is The Cure?

Doctor: Oh my God. It is worse than I thought!

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📅︎ Jun 19 2018
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Are u isreali? Cuz u isreali hot
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📅︎ Feb 17 2020
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"Pick Me Up Im Dripping Wet"

"Ahhh... Was this meant for your boyfriend"-Dad

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📅︎ Sep 22 2015
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Why did the cholo only pass his English class?

Because he was all about his essays

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📅︎ Jun 03 2020
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I bought a selfie-stick

here's a photo of my daughter and me taken with it

http://i.imgur.com/In3hWXC.jpg

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📅︎ Jul 21 2015
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When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent

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👤︎ u/L3broncos
📅︎ Sep 10 2018
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My bank sells repo cars. The other day, they had a Lincoln sedan for sale...

I pulled beside the shiny car, beaming at the price and quality...except I noticed the back passenger door seemed have water dripping out the side panel. I giggled to myself:

Might as well call it a'Leakin, amirite?

😎😎😎😎😎

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📅︎ Sep 13 2019
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➡

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📅︎ Feb 22 2016
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My wife and I bought a fixer-upper

Our first day in it, I was unpacking boxes downstairs, when water started to drip from the ceiling. I went upstairs and found that my wife had showered, only to realize afterward that the shower lacked any kind of sealant between the tiles. Sensing my frustration with the shoddy workmanship, my wife replied, "You're just going to have to give it the benefit of the grout."

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📅︎ Jan 14 2017
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Cleaning up after thanksgiving dinner

Mom: Hey I am putting the gravy back in the jar if anyone is looking for it.

Me: Did you seal it tightly so it doesn't drip?

Mom: Yeah it should be good.

Me: Good I wouldn't want it to be ajar.

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📅︎ Nov 26 2015
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Carafe

Coffee used to be made in a coffee pot. Now, everyone uses a drip coffee maker, but they still call the container a pot. It doesn't get put on a fire to make the coffee perk, so it isn't a coffee pot. It is a carafe.

You have a carafe of coffee. You pour the coffee out of the carafe into a cup. It is now decarafinated coffee.

I am a dad, and I approve this message!

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👤︎ u/MikeLinPA
📅︎ Oct 20 2013
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