Her response was "guess he had a shitty day". Dad joked by my own wife couldn't believe it.
Dad: Why would I want two empty glasses?
I told him It was a no-brainer.
You canβt find a single person in it.
But now heβs glue tin free.
Theyβre so remarkable!
A hand sani-teaser....
....
....
Because you think you're going to get your hand sanitized, but you don't, cause it's empty, so it's teasing you...
Yeah?
Yeah?
aww....
I thought it was a safe bet.
He doesn't see the bartender behind the bar so figures he must be back in the stockroom. As the man walks across the floor he hears a quiet voice say....."nice pants!"
He looks around but sees no one, there are no other people in the bar. He shrugs it off and keeps moving towards the bar.
Then he hears....."your hair looks great!"
Again, he looks around but doesn't see anyone. A little freaked out, he takes a seat at the bar and hears....."I like your tie!"
At that moment, the bartender emerges from the back room and asks "howdy sir, what can I get you?"
The man replies "well, I'll have a whiskey, but I have to tell you the strangest thing has happened to me since I walked in. I keep hearing some voice that keeps saying nice things about me. I must really need that drink I guess."
The bartender smiles and says "ahh, don't worry about it, that happens sometimes, it's probably just the peanuts".
"The peanuts?" asked the man, even more confused.
"Yes, the peanuts" explains the bartender.....
"they're complimentary"
:)
Why would I want two empty glasses?" I asked
"You need to buy a different size bra!"
When he was finished, he looked at the other dog and said, βClean up that mess.β
The other dog sniffed the pile and said, βNope. Thatβs your asphalt!β
Cents
It's called godzillow
Eye Fillet.
but they're the ones that keep requesting contactless delivery!
They don't make sense
He sits down and orders a beer
Then hears a soft voice say "That's a really good color on you"
The man looks around and doesn't see anyone, shrugs, and sips his beer.
Shortly there after he hears another study voice whisper "That's a really nice tie"
Looking at the bartender the man says "Do you hear those voices? Because no one else is here except you and me!"
The bartender says "Oh yeah.. Sorry about that.. Its the peanuts, they are complimentary"
That spoke volumes.
Anticipating nasty tweets.
It's Erie
Because theyβre wa-fulls not waff-empties.
Now I want my Nickelback.
"It was a Shih Tzu"
Their wifi password is " our40yrsoldbaby", i mean come on I'm 45.
Phillip the 3rd
Happy Thanksgiving, Canada!
It can also write other words too.
I just like to drink it
...βMOM! DAD CALLED ME A LITTLE MORON!!β
I said I don't have too many loose screws.
She smiled.
I was stranded in a deserted aisle...
Now it's just a waist of space.
I told her βthatβs unfortunateβ.
Nothing scares me
Because there wasnβt a single person there
Because thereβs not a single person there
Because there isn't a single person in the room
There's not a single person there
Because there isn't a single person there.
I said, βWhy would I want two empty glasses?β
Why would I want two empty wine glasses.
"Why on Earth would I want two empty glasses?" I asked.
Dad: What would I do with two empty glasses?
