Stan Lee says go forth and fill the void
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D4FF00
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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Avoiding people can be Avoided if they are in a void.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/P00Pisgood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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What did the Void Elf do about Holy magic?

She avoided it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/PresentPossible
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
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Having been raised without a dad, I never realized there was a void in my life until you all filled it. Thank you! In appreciation, I present the only dad joke I've experienced firsthand.

Friends and I are playing Mario Kart 64. Friends' dad comes in.
"Who wants icecream??"
All of us "Me me I do!"
"What flavors do you want?"
"Cookie dough!"
"Rock Road!"
"Ok, I was just wondering."

πŸ‘︎ 309
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2014
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[At the therapist] Me: Doc, I have a crippling fear of big, empty spaces.

Therapist: A void?

Me: That’s good advice. Thanks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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What would you call a sword made of ice?


πŸ‘︎ 241
πŸ‘€︎ u/onthedown_lough
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Computer Coffee..

I was telling my wife a story about a programmer that was able to run a computer script on a Coffee Machine.

It would brew the coffee for the person exactly as they reached the machine, my wife jokingly said, "he speaks computer coffee."

That is when Dad Joke came in and I said, you could say that he speaks Java.

She walked outside without saying anything and stared at the yard for a while.

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scopecontro1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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A Warframe related dad joke

I was playing Warframe with a few buddies on Teamspeak. One of them is annoyed with the roll he got from his void relic and that all he'd get was a Forma Blueprint.

To which I replied "Well, it spawned forma reason."

Cue groans from chat.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2017
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I love the word Earth

It means the world to me

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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Why don't black holes have friends?

Because they a void everyone

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hi_im_Nadeem
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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My son asked me about the different dimensions the other day.

I told him "I'd like to avoid the matter at this time."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHobbitPimp
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
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