The first asks for a pint of beer. The second asks for 1/2 of a pint of beer. The third asks for 1/4 of a pint of beer, etc.
The bartender fills 2 pints of beer, and walks away.
The first one ordered one beer, the second ordered 1/2 a beer, the third ordered 1/4 of a beer and so on.
The bartender poured two beers and said:
“I know my limits”
So my daughter was full last night, so I gave her the ol' "Hi Full, I'm Daddy!" for the very first time.
She paused, looked at me like I was dumb, and said "My NAME is not Full. I AM full."
"Hi Not Full, I'm Daddy!"
She paused again, and said "My NAME is not Not Full. I'm full!"
"Hi Not Not Full, I'm Daddy!"
She figures out that this could go on forever and cracks up laughing. When she finishes she looks at me with a glimmer in her eye and tells me "I feel full." She never says "I'm full" now, and always uses "I feel full."
I'm not really sure where to go from here, guys. Help?
Irrational
Steve: "I wish I was rich."
Genie: "What’s your second wish, Rich?"
You either get twice the amount of dad jokes or you get stuck in an infinite loop of "go ask your mom."
Edit: On another Sub someone called me a homophobe. I want to say I'm not a homophobe it was simply a light hearted joke. I'm gay myself and wouldn't want to create hate or controversy. So sorry if I offended anyone.
Edit 2: Thanks for giving me my first award.
Edit 3: if you have heard it else where then fine Like this one guy in the comments said "I’ve seen it a few times but no doubt many people haven’t. No reason a good joke can’t be posted bc someone’s posted it in the past."
Edit 4: making too many edits but thanks for the gold kind stranger (And all of them means alot)
I wonder what she is up to now.
Me: My love for you is 0/0 Her: Aww, infinite? Me: Nahh,Undefined. Her: Why are you like this, is there no limit to your stupidity? Me: Umm, now that you say it, I should've applied a limit to it. Her: I want to break your bones, ugh. Me: So are you saying that I'll have to re-visit the l'hospital?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
Me: what?
Dad: the air.
Me: ....
so i know it was finally time. i went to his house and gave him my most treasured gift: my book "1001 Dad Jokes" he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said " thank you so much, im honored" which made me start crying. i responded with the only thing i could say "hi honored im dad"
does he still have mass?
The higher they are, the more spaced out they become.
Genie: Fine. You can have 3.14 wishes.
There's absolutely no point to it.
Once it lies down, it becomes infinite.
You were four warned.
*Edit: I'm fourtunate for the upvotes.
Two! The inside and the outside
The bartender says, “That’s an order of magnitude!”
she would be fucking without any limits.
Me: What did I say when I walked in on an Italian in the bathroom?
Her (she knows a dad joke is imminent): what?
Me: "oh eurapeein!"
Her: infinite eye rolls
He's a touch infinitely irrational.
He was infinitely annoyed.
(From my son)
You think they’re infinite until they’re snot
"Hey girl, you sure are angled alright. Your tan is infinitly beautiful."
If it lays down, it becomes infinite
Either twice the Dad jokes or an infinite loop of “Go ask your mom”.
Like, you either get double the dad jokes or get stuck in a infinite loop of "Go ask your mom". I can't imagine the pain.
When they lie down, it becomes infinite.
