"Egg-plant" shirt by me. Never got why the vegetable was called that until I found out that they used to be white and look like goose eggs back in the day
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stephaniehuang66
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
My wife has been online this week, buying lots of black and white fabric.

I do hope she doesn’t make a habit of it

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08
🚨︎ report
Why do white girls always travel in odd numbers?

Because they can't even.

πŸ‘︎ 114
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SlytherRedd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
🚨︎ report
What's black, white, and Asian at the same time?

A panda!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kalajasavakuy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22
🚨︎ report
You spin me white round, baby, white round
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThackerOpinions
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
What do you call a white horse?

Mayo-Neighs

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
Egg: If you take me seriously, you'll leave my shell intact and not remove my whites. Me: *Breaks Egg and removes whites*

Egg: Am I a yolk to you?

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/goddred
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
I hear that white collar prison isn't bad...

It has its pros and its cons.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09
🚨︎ report
Why are there fewer brown sugar sachets than white sugar sachets? Demerera twitter.com/chrispaget1/s…
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarkie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01
🚨︎ report
My son refuses to eat rice if it in not white.

I said β€œSon, that’s ricest!”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MaryLightly33
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
🚨︎ report
Son:What happens when white blood cells fail to protect us from an infection?

Dad:Their effort goes in vein.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yaboi_akshat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
(White)Bored at work
πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/olive-bernie
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
What’s cold, white, falls from the sky and kills you?

A fridge!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Giant-Genitals
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
🚨︎ report
Why did the white supremacist not mind going blind?

Because he was used to nazi-ing.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AntsyPants20
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
Contrary to common belief, racism is not a black and white issue
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/97AByss
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
What do you call a white crow?

A caw-casian.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ArcadeKingpin
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
How does Vanna White take her constipation medicine?

Via bowel.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MBTHVSK
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
What’s angry, calm and white?

My bi-polar bear.

πŸ‘︎ 104
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
What is black and white, black and white. Black and white?

A nun rolling down a hill.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/leveonthis
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
If you dunk a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PeskiePete
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
I'm on a plane and the lunch choices are: white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I'm seated in the last row.

I'm hoping for the breast, but preparing for the wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
As an amateur stargazer, my favourite type has to be the white dwarf.

Peter Dinklage is my all time number 1.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about egg whites?

Never mind, you wouldn't get the yolk.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kgold0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
Me and my big hard white cock.
πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Withane82
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
It doesn't matter if you're black, white, old, young, tall, short or even if you're from another country. It's what's INSIDE that counts!

I love you refrigerator!

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
A white-tail keeps showing up at our house doing tricks, trying to impress us to get food...

It's endeering.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
The colours red, white and blue are the colours of freedom.

Until they are flashing behind you.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
The girl at chipotle asked if I like white or brown rice

I told her that she’s rice-ist

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PoeJascoe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
What happened when the Frenchman used a white pencil?

He drew a blanc

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
The first time Prince Charles went white water rafting, he threw up on himself when the river grew turbulent...

It was a roil-mess.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
What do you call a white bear that has crippling depression, is sexually confused and can't pick a hemisphere?

A Bipolar Bi-Polar Bi Polar Bear

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ErinMcCloud
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
Totally white.
πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Account_Priv
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
I stopped by the deli to have my typical ham on white or wheat but they were out of both!

My plan for lunch went a-rye.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
Was Jack Black? Was Barry white? Was George Strait? Was Marvin Gay?

Sure makes Stevie Wonder.

πŸ‘︎ 882
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I wonder how much White-Out...

They use at the Department of Corrections?

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
What goes black white black white black white black white black white thump???

A nun falling down the stairs.

What's black and white and laughs???

The nun that pushed her.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
🚨︎ report
Put some white gold in my nose tonight

Two ply charmin for my nose bleed. Never felt richer.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BobboLJ386
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
If Walter White were a good person...

the TV series would be called Baking Bread.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/celsotavora
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
🚨︎ report
What do you call a girl having one black and one white boob?

Divertity

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ProjectOlio
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend hates brown rice and only eats white rice.

I’m dating a ricist.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/in2diep
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
My son only ate the white rice and ignored the meatball and yellow lentils

I think he's ricist

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/falgony
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
🚨︎ report
What does a white man say when he gets more land?

Ah, the plot thickens

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Germanboi99
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
The only two white actors in the Black Panther movie...

...are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.

They’re the Tolkien white guys.

*Sent to my by a co-worker

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hensfan85
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
The only reason I am voting for Elizabeth Warren is that she will bring stability to the White House. She will never be impeached.

She comes with a warranty.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29
🚨︎ report
Did you know you can erase things on a white board? Its pretty remarkable
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mi_sh_aaaa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a big white furry monster with a six-pack?

The abdominal snowman.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cman_yall
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the team of white guys that tried to compete in an all vietnamese soccer league?

They didnt Nguyen a single game

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
Italian white bread is Santa's favorite because

As the song goes, "Ciabatta watch out, Ciabatta not cry, Ciabatta not pout......"

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DadJoker1988
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of confused black and white bears?

Pandamonium

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FeedbackUSA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
If crows make black babies & doves make white babies, what makes no babies?

...Swallows

πŸ‘︎ 91
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/youngtrafford87
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What do call a white millennial

Milli Vanilli

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/veknilero
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know a white-tail deer can jump higher than the average house?

This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact the average house can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my mom what she would think if a white dude was rockin dreads and she went β€œthat’s dreadful.” we laughed for a good minute.
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eleanorw123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a vegan White Russian?

A Soyviet!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/krogala415
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What goes black white, black white, back white? A penguin rolling down a hill. What goes black white, haha, black white, haha?

The penguin that pushed him.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeseDonkey0
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s white, light and sugary and swings through trees? ...

...a meringue-utan

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
White men cant jump but they can....
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Supermr2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a red, white, and blue billboard that has stars, stripes and a swear word on it?

American Sign Language.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mkaic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
What do you call a white bear that's shaped like a tooth?

A Molar Bear

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...

Well, not neciCelery.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What's black and white and eats like a horse?

A zebra.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StokyoDrift
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
If Game of Thrones was written by M. Night Shyamalan, what would he have called the White Walkers?

Icy Dead People

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fluxitup
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Who else eats bread with the white and green spots?

Edit: Thanks for the mold kind stranger

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Crixzly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What's black and white and read all over?

The newspaper.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the doctor, and he said I was overweight. I'm not allowed to wear white T-shirts any more.

He told me I have to dye it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/creative_im_not
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the fireman wear red, white, and blue suspenders?

To hold his pants up.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What's red, white and black?

A dead zebra

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a black and white striped brassiere?

A zebra

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
this dude at my school had two separate hit lists. we all knew who was on the white one, but the blacklist? no clue.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/erdankely
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Who would win between a totally white Dalmatian and a Tiger?

Well, certainly not the Tiger, because the Dalmatian wouldn't be spotted.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gradymegalania
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What goes black white black white black white black white?

A zebra crossing a zebra crossing.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/louisdq17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking

You just go with the flow.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TurboAxolotl
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I find white boards interesting

They're quite remarkable.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Av8r96
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2018
🚨︎ report
No yolk, I can make the best egg white omelette.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sheineken
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
The Tolkien white guys...
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phenry08
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Jokes about white sugar are rare, but jokes about brown sugar.

Demarara

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fishyladd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I was in a KFC in Prague, standing in line waiting to order my lunch when I noticed the beautiful girl wearing a black and white tiled apron who was giving the man in front of me a bucket of Buffalo wings..and then it dawned on me.

I was checking out a chequered Czech check-out chick who was checking out some chicken at the checkout.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buggaboobooy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
It is white and on the fence

Paint

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Drgonnofski
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Nobody wants to listen to White Snake with me.

So here I go again on my own.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crispy_critter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
If we discovered life on Mars and their skin would happen to be white with black spots we should call them Dalmartians
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GismoWasTaken
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What is black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white?

A penguin, rolling down a hill

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/expressionless420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the fireman wear red, white, and blue suspenders?

To hold his pants up.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the fireman wear red, white, and blue suspenders?

To hold his pants up.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report

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