A man who had just died was delivered to the mortuary wearing a beautiful black suit.

The mortician asked the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out the man looks good in the black suit he’s already wearing. The widow however said she thought her husband always looked his best in blue, and she would really like him in a blue suit. She then hands the mortician a blank cheque and says β€œI don’t care how much it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.” The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe. Remarkably, the suit fit him perfectly. She says to the mortician, β€œwhatever this costs I’m very satisfied, you did an excellent job and I’m incredibly grateful. How much did you spend?” To her astonishment the mortician presents her with her blank cheque, and he says β€œthere’s no charge.” Shocked she replies β€œno really, I feel like i must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit.” β€œHonestly ma’am”, the mortician says, β€œit costs nothing, you see a diseased gentleman about your husbands size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday. He was wearing an attractive blue suit. So I asked his wife if she minded if her husband went to the grave wearing black. She had said it made no difference so long as he looked nice. So from that point on it was really just a matter of switching the heads.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PaladinDanza
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 07 2021
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What’s the difference between the police response to Black Lives Matter protests and their response to the Capitol Hill riots?

Well, it’s black and white.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 84
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thisDiff
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 07 2021
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Black eyed P’s
πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Geekbabe2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2021
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Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?

Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2021
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Moscow is the capital of black holes...

...because everything is Rushin' to them.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2021
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My black belt friend had to put lifts in his shoes...

...adding insoles to ninjary.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/i4mb4tm4n
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2021
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Whats black and deadly and sits on rooftops

A crow with a machine gun

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AusSpyder
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2021
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What is the fruit that is green on the outside and red with black seeds on the inside, the name start with an H

Half a watermelon

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/stressedbybooks9999
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2021
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My friend Patrick is black,white,and Asian at the same time.

Patrick the Panda.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2021
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All the hair dressers all closed due to covid, so I start looking to the black market for a haircut

But I heard they were under cutting everyone

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/B0B0oo7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2021
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What's black and white and ruled in Rome?

Julius Zebra

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/maccer20
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 07 2021
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I've removed all the black keys from my piano

Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gell0us
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2020
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I think Black Holes are the most successful kleptomaniacs around...

Nothing they grab is ever returned.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/THOT_Patroller-13
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2020
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A rare black tiger is spotted in India

Everywhere else it has stripes.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NathanielleS
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2020
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Biracial people prove that not everything is black and white.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SonoHannabira
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2020
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What's the difference between a white penguin and a black penguin?

A white penguin is coming towards you, while a black penguin is walking away from you.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2020
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The black spiderman
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/anon_outlaw
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 14 2020
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It doesn't matter if you're black or white, or gay or straight

At the end of the day, it's night.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 43
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Speedypanda4
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2020
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What do you call finding cheap eyeballs on the black market

Ideal

πŸ‘οΈŽ 38
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dickfingersjr
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 19 2020
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Black Betty had a car accident

Bambulance

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2020
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People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....

Well I am.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02 2020
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β€œYou need a baby gate? Alright, I got one white one and two blacks, which do you want?”

β€œDad, you can’t say β€˜blacks’ someone might take offense!” β€œ...It’s not a fence, it’s a gate.” Not his best thanksgiving day dad joke, but definitely not expected in the moment πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dependent-Pattern-26
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2020
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What do you call a pig with a black belt?

Pork Chop

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rdubdanger
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03 2020
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What did the black bean say to the white bean?

"Hey dude, how've you bean?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/moralTortilla
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 08 2020
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What is black, white and red all over?

A penguin in a blender.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ur-main-man-gabe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2020
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Or is it a black bear-y tree?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Thunderfighter6
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2020
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EAZY E did a collab with Black eye peas.

It was called Easy Peasy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bms1840
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2020
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No matter what kind of pasta you throw in a black hole

It all gets spaghettified.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2020
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Why do nuns wear black?

It's a habit they get into.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ag25666
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 14 2020
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i once attended a black-tie affair in flip-flops

it was quite the sandal.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2020
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What do you get when a russian black-magician tries to cook canadian food?

You get a ras***poutine***

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/i_roh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28 2020
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Why did the naked guy go Black Friday shopping?

Because the underpants were a 100% off.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rubbletits
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 24 2020
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My hair used to be black, and now every day more white hairs keeps moving in. This makes me angry, and it makes me sad.

My hair is getting gentrified, and soon, I won't be able to afford it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PeeSeaBayBee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 30 2020
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*Black gets hit by the Killing Curse*

Black: Harry, I’m dead.

Harry: Are you serious?

Black: Yes, I’m dead Sirius.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 04 2020
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What do you call a black guy that flys a plane?

A pilot, you racist!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gullible-Effect
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2020
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I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards.

I'm sure that must have been a record.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 456
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 26 2020
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What’s black and white and red all over?

A bloody nun.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Theunkillable
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2020
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Black Beans Matter
πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/David_Jonathan0
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
/r/BlackFathers will now be a positive and supportive community for Black and POC fathers

https://i.imgur.com/GlXV2kE.gifv

Reddit admins have recently granted ownership of /r/BlackFathers to myself and a group of other Black/POC mods, and it is our intention to make this a positive and supportive community. This is a place where Black/POC fathers and their family, friends, and colleagues can find helpful resources, welcoming content, and a safe space to learn from each other and share our experience.

Content of all types are welcome so long as the subject/focus of the content is supportive of Black/POC fathers. We look forward to seeing you there.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BigJ76
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 18 2020
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What's black and white and goes round and round ?

A penguin in a revolving door

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 17 2020
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I saw a midget wearing a t-shirt with the slogan "I hate black people" on it...

I thought to myself... "that's a little racist"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Upsidedownsquidhead
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2019
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Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?

Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/oxfordthethird
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2020
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Some people are not a fan of the Black Eyed Peas

Will.i.am

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DinglebarryHandpump
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2020
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