A man who had just died was delivered to the mortuary wearing a beautiful black suit.

The mortician asked the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out the man looks good in the black suit he’s already wearing. The widow however said she thought her husband always looked his best in blue, and she would really like him in a blue suit. She then hands the mortician a blank cheque and says β€œI don’t care how much it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.” The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe. Remarkably, the suit fit him perfectly. She says to the mortician, β€œwhatever this costs I’m very satisfied, you did an excellent job and I’m incredibly grateful. How much did you spend?” To her astonishment the mortician presents her with her blank cheque, and he says β€œthere’s no charge.” Shocked she replies β€œno really, I feel like i must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit.” β€œHonestly ma’am”, the mortician says,

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PaladinDanza
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between the police response to Black Lives Matter protests and their response to the Capitol Hill riots?

Well, it’s black and white.

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisDiff
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
Black eyed P’s
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Geekbabe2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?

Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
🚨︎ report
Moscow is the capital of black holes...

...because everything is Rushin' to them.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
My black belt friend had to put lifts in his shoes...

...adding insoles to ninjary.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/i4mb4tm4n
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
Whats black and deadly and sits on rooftops

A crow with a machine gun

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AusSpyder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
What is the fruit that is green on the outside and red with black seeds on the inside, the name start with an H

Half a watermelon

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
My friend Patrick is black,white,and Asian at the same time.

Patrick the Panda.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
All the hair dressers all closed due to covid, so I start looking to the black market for a haircut

But I heard they were under cutting everyone

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/B0B0oo7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
What's black and white and ruled in Rome?

Julius Zebra

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
I've removed all the black keys from my piano

Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gell0us
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I think Black Holes are the most successful kleptomaniacs around...

Nothing they grab is ever returned.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/THOT_Patroller-13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A rare black tiger is spotted in India

Everywhere else it has stripes.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NathanielleS
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Biracial people prove that not everything is black and white.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SonoHannabira
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a white penguin and a black penguin?

A white penguin is coming towards you, while a black penguin is walking away from you.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The black spiderman
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anon_outlaw
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
It doesn't matter if you're black or white, or gay or straight

At the end of the day, it's night.

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Speedypanda4
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call finding cheap eyeballs on the black market

Ideal

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dickfingersjr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Black Betty had a car accident

Bambulance

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....

Well I am.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œYou need a baby gate? Alright, I got one white one and two blacks, which do you want?”

β€œDad, you can’t say β€˜blacks’ someone might take offense!” β€œ...It’s not a fence, it’s a gate.” Not his best thanksgiving day dad joke, but definitely not expected in the moment πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig with a black belt?

Pork Chop

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rdubdanger
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the black bean say to the white bean?

"Hey dude, how've you bean?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moralTortilla
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What is black, white and red all over?

A penguin in a blender.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ur-main-man-gabe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Or is it a black bear-y tree?
πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thunderfighter6
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
EAZY E did a collab with Black eye peas.

It was called Easy Peasy.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bms1840
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
No matter what kind of pasta you throw in a black hole

It all gets spaghettified.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do nuns wear black?

It's a habit they get into.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ag25666
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
i once attended a black-tie affair in flip-flops

it was quite the sandal.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when a russian black-magician tries to cook canadian food?

You get a ras***poutine***

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/i_roh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the naked guy go Black Friday shopping?

Because the underpants were a 100% off.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rubbletits
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My hair used to be black, and now every day more white hairs keeps moving in. This makes me angry, and it makes me sad.

My hair is getting gentrified, and soon, I won't be able to afford it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PeeSeaBayBee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
*Black gets hit by the Killing Curse*

Black: Harry, I’m dead.

Harry: Are you serious?

Black: Yes, I’m dead Sirius.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a black guy that flys a plane?

A pilot, you racist!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gullible-Effect
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards.

I'm sure that must have been a record.

πŸ‘︎ 456
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s black and white and red all over?

A bloody nun.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Theunkillable
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Black Beans Matter
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/David_Jonathan0
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
/r/BlackFathers will now be a positive and supportive community for Black and POC fathers

https://i.imgur.com/GlXV2kE.gifv

Reddit admins have recently granted ownership of /r/BlackFathers to myself and a group of other Black/POC mods, and it is our intention to make this a positive and supportive community. This is a place where Black/POC fathers and their family, friends, and colleagues can find helpful resources, welcoming content, and a safe space to learn from each other and share our experience.

Content of all types are welcome so long as the subject/focus of the content is supportive of Black/POC fathers. We look forward to seeing you there.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigJ76
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Some people are not a fan of the Black Eyed Peas

Will.i.am

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What's black and white and goes round and round ?

A penguin in a revolving door

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a midget wearing a t-shirt with the slogan "I hate black people" on it...

I thought to myself... "that's a little racist"

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?

Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oxfordthethird
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report

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