A man who had just died was delivered to the mortuary wearing a beautiful black suit.
The mortician asked the deceasedβs wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out the man looks good in the black suit heβs already wearing. The widow however said she thought her husband always looked his best in blue, and she would really like him in a blue suit. She then hands the mortician a blank cheque and says βI donβt care how much it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.β The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe. Remarkably, the suit fit him perfectly. She says to the mortician, βwhatever this costs Iβm very satisfied, you did an excellent job and Iβm incredibly grateful. How much did you spend?β To her astonishment the mortician presents her with her blank cheque, and he says βthereβs no charge.β Shocked she replies βno really, I feel like i must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit.β βHonestly maβamβ, the mortician says, βit costs nothing, you see a diseased gentleman about your husbands size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday. He was wearing an attractive blue suit. So I asked his wife if she minded if her husband went to the grave wearing black. She had said it made no difference so long as he looked nice. So from that point on it was really just a matter of switching the heads.β
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
Whatβs the difference between the police response to Black Lives Matter protests and their response to the Capitol Hill riots?
Well, itβs black and white.
π︎ 84
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
Black eyed Pβs
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?
Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jan 18 2021
Moscow is the capital of black holes...
...because everything is Rushin' to them.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
My black belt friend had to put lifts in his shoes...
...adding insoles to ninjary.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
Whats black and deadly and sits on rooftops
A crow with a machine gun
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
What is the fruit that is green on the outside and red with black seeds on the inside, the name start with an H
π︎ 13
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︎ Jan 06 2021
My friend Patrick is black,white,and Asian at the same time.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
All the hair dressers all closed due to covid, so I start looking to the black market for a haircut
But I heard they were under cutting everyone
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
What's black and white and ruled in Rome?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
π︎ 33
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
I think Black Holes are the most successful kleptomaniacs around...
Nothing they grab is ever returned.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
A rare black tiger is spotted in India
Everywhere else it has stripes.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 06 2020
Biracial people prove that not everything is black and white.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
What's the difference between a white penguin and a black penguin?
A white penguin is coming towards you, while a black penguin is walking away from you.
π︎ 35
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
The black spiderman
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jun 14 2020
It doesn't matter if you're black or white, or gay or straight
At the end of the day, it's night.
π︎ 43
π
︎ Nov 23 2020
What do you call finding cheap eyeballs on the black market
π︎ 38
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
Black Betty had a car accident
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
βYou need a baby gate? Alright, I got one white one and two blacks, which do you want?β
βDad, you canβt say βblacksβ someone might take offense!β
β...Itβs not a fence, itβs a gate.β
Not his best thanksgiving day dad joke, but definitely not expected in the moment π
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
What do you call a pig with a black belt?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Nov 03 2020
What did the black bean say to the white bean?
"Hey dude, how've you bean?"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
What is black, white and red all over?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
Or is it a black bear-y tree?
π︎ 35
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
EAZY E did a collab with Black eye peas.
It was called Easy Peasy.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
No matter what kind of pasta you throw in a black hole
It all gets spaghettified.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 23 2020
Why do nuns wear black?
It's a habit they get into.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
i once attended a black-tie affair in flip-flops
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
What do you get when a russian black-magician tries to cook canadian food?
You get a ras***poutine***
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
Why did the naked guy go Black Friday shopping?
Because the underpants were a 100% off.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 24 2020
My hair used to be black, and now every day more white hairs keeps moving in. This makes me angry, and it makes me sad.
My hair is getting gentrified, and soon, I won't be able to afford it.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 30 2020
*Black gets hit by the Killing Curse*
Black: Harry, Iβm dead.
Harry: Are you serious?
Black: Yes, Iβm dead Sirius.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Sep 04 2020
What do you call a black guy that flys a plane?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards.
I'm sure that must have been a record.
π︎ 456
π
︎ May 26 2020
Whatβs black and white and red all over?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
Black Beans Matter
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
/r/BlackFathers will now be a positive and supportive community for Black and POC fathers
https://i.imgur.com/GlXV2kE.gifv
Reddit admins have recently granted ownership of /r/BlackFathers to myself and a group of other Black/POC mods, and it is our intention to make this a positive and supportive community. This is a place where Black/POC fathers and their family, friends, and colleagues can find helpful resources, welcoming content, and a safe space to learn from each other and share our experience.
Content of all types are welcome so long as the subject/focus of the content is supportive of Black/POC fathers. We look forward to seeing you there.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Sep 18 2020
What's black and white and goes round and round ?
A penguin in a revolving door
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 17 2020
I saw a midget wearing a t-shirt with the slogan "I hate black people" on it...
I thought to myself... "that's a little racist"
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Aug 15 2019
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?
Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jan 18 2020
Some people are not a fan of the Black Eyed Peas
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
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