Which is the most sarcastic bird?

Mockingbird.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kaylicious17
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My sarcastic teacher handed back my final exam..

I was told I was intelligen’t

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CakeRedditor
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the sarcastic weightlifter?

He liked to pump irony.

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?

sighren

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ScheidNation21
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the most sarcastic body of water on Earth ?

Crimea River

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you say when you see a wheel that’s sarcastic?

It’s a tire

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/D4NK-PHO3N1X
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the sarcastic academic say when asked if he could name a single German philosopher?

β€œNo I Kant”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sr_ChalupaBatman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sarcastic proctologist?

A smart ass doctor

πŸ‘︎ 99
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JavaSwirl
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2017
🚨︎ report
I know this sarcastic Baker...

He makes the best wry bread.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tobiasosor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the sarcastic comedian say to the wise cracking toilet paper?

You're on a roll, aren't ya?!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lucas_powerglove
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
🚨︎ report
My wife keeps making sarcastic comments about my receding hairline...

It's starting to wear a bit thin now.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2017
🚨︎ report
Just took a long flight. The pilot was rude and sarcastic the entire time.

He really needed an attitude adjustment.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/captainlavender
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2016
🚨︎ report
What's the most sarcastic flower?

The forget-me ... NOT!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2016
🚨︎ report
Overheard in the airport. The 8-year-old daughter responded with a sarcastic "ha, ha."

"I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!"

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bjackman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2014
🚨︎ report
I was reading posts off this sub to my dad, and he sarcastically said, "do you know what's better than reading reddit? having it read to you." I replied,

"well, this way you don't have to have read-it."

(this genuinely happened about a minute ago, he actually left the house)

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeliriusBlack
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I just sarcastically told my grandfather that he was very funny.

He said "I guess that makes me a farmer."

I look at him, bewildered.

"A corn farmer."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jar_of_salt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A duck walks into a bar

and orders a drink, then a little while after he finished that drink he ordered another and he accidentally drops the glass containing the drink and he says to the waitress put it on my bill, so the waitress begins to grab the glass shards that were on the ground and carefully placed them on the ducks bill and the duck asks what are you doing and the waitress says I’m putting it on your bill and the duck sarcastically says ohhhh you really quack me up and the waitress says oh I'm sorry did I ruffle your feathers.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mr-awsome-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm on a seafood diet

I see food and I eat it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/artinmens
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife says I'm the cheapest man in the world.

I'm not buying it.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/2040009
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Girlfriend sarcastically addresses me as "Captain".

Me: You're absolutely right. I'm the captain of the ship.

Girlfriend: What ship?

Me: The relationship.

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/themostexcelente
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2015
🚨︎ report
I replaced the handle on the toilet today!

Me: I replaced the handle on the toilet today!

Teenager: (Sarcastic) And aren't you proud of it?

Me: Flushed with success.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/h2g2_researcher
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend saw a Whole Foods ad on Pandora, and sarcastically said "Wow, I didn't know they made music"

Yeah man, they've got some sweet beats.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coloradopowpow
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2015
🚨︎ report
Bad collection of puns

Remember, only come here for cringe, Because this is the ultimate Pun Collection.

  1. What does McDonalds say to the tray when it betrays them? "You traytor!"
  2. Does Spider Man live in an egg? Because i heard he lives in New Yolk.
  3. These puns aren't very eggciting.
  4. lettuce taco bout it?
  5. I will asalt you with puns!
  6. What if your problem involves telling a phone? JUST TELEPHONE ALREADY!
  7. What if Jake stands close to Johnny when talking? He Here's Johnny!
  8. Stop asalting my hard with your judging pursesonality!
  9. I'll play the Yandere Simulater later.
  10. You herd about that show? It's called Spongebob Swearpants.
  11. Why did you diss stew me? (kinda hard to get, but just say it out loud.)
  12. What does someone say sarcastically in the middle of an intense war that was caused by someone? TANKS TO YOU!
  13. What type of plane that loves bounce? Boeing!
  14. How many money did we owe? It said it on the letter right? I don't know, you should've reddit!

I'm sorry for the cringe...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Titanium_Steel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Got a girl at a party...

Her: Yeah, I've actually been dancing since I was two years old!

Me: Wow, thats so impressive. You must be so tired by now!

Groans were had by both parties

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/n1njast1ck
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2015
🚨︎ report
My 4 year old daughter just got me.

Her: I want the same thing for breakfast that we had yesterday.

Me picking her up: I want hugs.

Her in a very sarcastic tone: Are you going to eat the hugs?

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lordofthebar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Scientist publish sensational series of results from their habanero research

Referred to as the Red Hot Chili Papers

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ehtBlackberry
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
My 10 year old son's science test set me up for the perfect Dad Joke.

Me: How did you do on the muscles and bones test?

Son: I mixed up the cranium and the skull.

Me: That was a boneheaded mistake.

Son: (Sarcastic) Ha ha.

I guess he didn't find my joke humerus.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/goconrad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad usually types on his phone with one finger.…

...until today when I caught him texting with both his thumbs.

Being the sarcastic smart are son of his, I asked " when did you learn to type with both thumbs?" he smiled and happily replied: "The day I learned I was Ambi'text'rous".

He laughed for about 5 minutes and proceeded on to tell mum and my brother about his funny pun

Good one dad.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheesues
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2014
🚨︎ report
I dad joked my fwb

We're in bed, and her 2 cats are jumping all over everything in her room. Typical cat things.

Her: (sarcastically) "I should just dump them outside on the sidewalk."

Me: "Wouldn't that be KITTY LITTER??"

Her: (groans)

πŸ‘︎ 222
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dmc20
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad has historical humor

My bf recently told me about this subreddit, purely because my dad is one of the dadjokiest dads we know. Today, I finally got to document a stellar example of his fatherly humor.

While making a sarcastic FB post regarding furniture I can't afford...

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Legitifit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2013
🚨︎ report
Just dadjoked my girlfriend by accident.

She was walking down the hall towards her door, and I was leaving to go move my laundry from the washer to the dryer. Right as she was walking into her apartment, she said, "Have fun doing laundry!"

I sarcastically replied, "Oh im sure I'll have loads."

She backtracked out of her door just to give a sickened and irritated look.

I am so proud right now.

πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GuitarGuyZA
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2015
🚨︎ report
Not sure if this is really a dad joke, but boy was I proud of it!

I was at work, sarcastically saying how much I love sweeping. Stoned coworker says "..We should just call you Cinderella then.."

I said "If the shoe fits!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/U_R_MY_UVULA
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2015
🚨︎ report
Me: What should I put on to go out?

Her: Clothes

Me: (sarcastic laugh)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2016
🚨︎ report
Sometimes my dad and I have a hard time understanding each other...

I'm away at university and my dad calls me up while I'm doing last minute homework:

Dad: What are you up to?

Me: Just finishing an essay about Dickens' Hard Times for class. I'm really busy, can I call you back in a couple hours?

Dad: Oh, that sounds like a hard time!

Me: (Sarcastically) Well it's not the MOST fun I've ever had.

Dad: (long pause followed by a sigh) Are you having a hard time with the joke?

Me: No, (chuckles) I get it dad... but I've got to go!

Dad: You sound like you're having a hard time.

Me: Dad, I got it.

Dad: (scoff) Ahhh, I'm just giving you a hard time!

Me: Dad.... I've got so much work to do.

Dad: I'll let you go then; glad to be of help during this hard time. Good luck on your essay! (hangs up)

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yenttirb
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2013
🚨︎ report
Be careful of your word order! Dad joked by my boyfriend

Me to my boyfriend: Earlier today a dog chased me on rollerskates!

Boyfriend: (sarcastically) Was the dog really on rollerskates?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/B_Rawl
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2014
🚨︎ report
Husband got daughter the other day

In the car. Husband(H) and son are having an in-depth conversation about LoL skins. Daughter(D) chimes in. D: Are you guys talking about LoL? H: Yup. D: Wow ( with very sarcastic undertone ) H: ( with out missing a beat ) Not WoW, LoL. Groans all around.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rerab
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad pulled this one on me on the way to the store yesterday

Dad:"Hey, do you want me to get anything from the store?"

Me:"Sure can you get me some bread please?"

Him:"Give me some dough, and I'll get you some bread!

Proceeded by sarcastic groan/laughs.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/epicface3000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2014
🚨︎ report
Got my girlfriend with a couple while trying to open up an online bank account.

Her: We should get going.

Me: Hold on, I want to open this online bank account before they close.

Her: <sarcastic> Oh yeah, cause they close early on Saturday

Me: Yeah, they have to head out early to beat the internet traffic.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/neonoodle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2015
🚨︎ report
Listening to 8bit remix of evanescence

Specifically this one: http://youtu.be/y5r3PY9nr4w

Wife: haha. (sarcastically) This makes me want to cut myself.

Me: It's okay. You'll have an extra life.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JimmyDabomb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2016
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.