What did God do after he created a 24 hour period of alternating light and darkness?
When blinded by darkness, look to the stars.
The crime scene of any school shooting smells like teen spirit.
In the darkness...
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
I walked downstairs to find my daughter eating cereal in complete darkness
I asked her, "What kind of psycho eats cereal in the dark?"
"A cereal killer" she replied.
I have taught her well.
I once met a wizard who threw a ball of darkness at me.
I hate it when people throw shade.
So God was talking to one of his Angels. He said “I’ve created 24 hours of alternating lightness and darkness in earth”. The Angel said “What are you going to do now?” ...
“Oh I think I’ll call it a day” God replies.
It came to me in an hour of darkness
What did God say after he separated the light from the darkness?
I think I'll call it a day.
I was taking my kids trick or treating along a dark country road, on a moonless Halloween night, when all of a sudden, a vampire swooped down from the darkness and landed right in front of us!
My daughter shrieked,"Quick dad, show him your cross!"
Without a second thought, I shouted, "YOU LEAVE US ALONE YOU BIG MEAN OLD VAMPIRE!!"
In the grim darkness of the far future, there are only dad jokes.
What is yellow, sour and fights for the Emperor?
A Lemon Russ!
What body of water has the taint of chaos?
The Hera-sea!
Why is Dark spelled with a ‘K’ and not a ‘C’?
Because you can’t ‘C’ in the dark
Dad, do you know why it’s so dark at night?
No sun
EDIT: oh my god 1k upvotes! THIS like, tripled my post karma. You guys are incredible. Much love!
Five years back I couldn’t pay my electricity bill, those were the dark days of my life
I don’t like pencil drawings of dark alleys
When I was young I used to be afraid of the dark
Now when I get my electric bill I'm afraid of the light.
My Child asked me “what is a dark joke?” I said to him “you see that man trying to find his car?”
My son looks at me and says, “you know I’m blind right?” Me being me said “Exactly”
My wife said she wanted divorce because i play too many video games
What a stupid thing to fallout 4
[Dark] Reports came out that suicide rates actually dropped during the pandemic despite people's worst fears. I guess it's true what they say...
I thought I heard news of a country making money out of soft pear-shaped fruits with sweet dark flesh and many small seeds...
But I guess it was a fig mint of my imagination.
what happens when a dad joke is too dark and edgy for this subreddit!
I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus.
Thats how i lost my job as a bus driver
Finally learnt how to separate my washing into lights and darks...
Turns out there can be a bit of a grey area
A curious child asked her mom, "why are you starting to get some grey hairs in with all your dark hair?"
Seizing this as a moral teaching moment she tells her daughter this little white lie, "Well young lady, when a daughter does something naughty, one of her mother's hairs turns grey."
After several moments of deep thought her daughter says to her mother, "So, mommy is that why all of grandma's hair is grey????"
I wanted to go with my mom when she walked her three dogs after dark.
After we awoke, my wife told me to put the dark roast on.
I told her that burning meat was a sin. When I came to she had moooooved out.
Why can’t 2021 take a picture in the dark
because it doesn’t have flash
I always said that I would never ever go walking the dark scary tunnels in the earth.
Tried committing suicide last night...
Never doing that again, I could've killed myself!
I fell down a really deep dark hole today.
I couldn't see that well.
The trees around the house are starting to bud. I said to my wife, "Honey, do you know what happens when the trees leaf out?"
A look of hopeful curiosity washed over her as she fell into my trap. "No, what?"
"Very SHADY things."
It must've reminded her that she had something else to do that was very important.
A reporter interviewed a 103-year old woman: “And what is the best thing about being 103?” the reporter asked.
The woman simply replied, “No peer pressure.”
Did you hear about the new dark and gritty direction Disney are taking?
Donald Duck will be playing a quack addict.
I avoid bike trails after dark.
They're full of cycle paths.
The pessimist sees a dark tunnel. The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel. The realist sees a freight train.
The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.
Will glass coffins ever be popular?
Why do programmers prefer dark mode?
Because light attracts bugs.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Man I hate dark humour
I can't really see what's so funny about it.
Dark jokes my 10 year old hit me with part 2: penguins are alot like kids
Both can fly if you throw them hard enough
What was the dark blue sea lion mistaken for?
what did the lumberjack do when it got dark?
He took his axe and saw.
Edit: spelling.
Why is the time period from 476 - 800 ad known as Dark Ages?
Because it was the time of knights.
My dad hates getting directions from me.
He left because I was right.
my son introduced me to dark humor the other day, i don't know why they call it "dark humor"
because they lighten me up
Why was the director unhappy with the close-ups in the Dark Knight trilogy?
All he was getting was Bale-ful looks.
What did God do after creating a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness of Earth?
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, “what are you going to do now?”
God said, “I think I’m going to call it a day.”
Why is dark spelled with a K?
Because you can't c in the dark.
Why is dark written with a K not a C?
Because you can't C in the dark
Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?
Because then it would be "darc"
Why do you spell dark with a k and not a c?
Because you can't see in the dark
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
