What's the most dishonorable pizza topping?

It is the pepperōnin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vundebar
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2016
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Up
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aayudhghosh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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What do you call sperm from a cheating soldier?

Dishonorable discharge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/New-Kekistan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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Sketchy af
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TuxedoGremlin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
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What's green and has wheels ?

Grass, I lied about the wheels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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Did you hear about that dyslexic japanese samurai?

He was so dishonored, he commited Sudoku.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/draadhaai
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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Pearl Harbor of puns

If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?

I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.

I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?

I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.

I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.

I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"

I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".

If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?

If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?

My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.

I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.

Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.

Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.

You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"

A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PraetorSolaris
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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The marine instructor told us to stand down at the firing range, so I unloaded my weapon.

Yes, it was a strange time to masturbate and eventually lead to my dishonorable discharge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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Disney is making a movie about a cow standing in your front yard...

They're calling it 'Mulan".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/glyph-bellchime
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2018
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Dat-honored.

I was in my room watching a YouTube video of someone playing Dishonored on my laptop. My dad came in and asked what I was doing. I said I was watching a video game. He's asked what video game it was. I said "It's called Dishonored." His response was "What about Dat-honored?" I fell off my chair at how funny and just plain bad his response was. He's always quoting jokes from this subreddit, so I thought I'd post one about his dad joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Only1Chapter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2014
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