Breaking news: a man has just been arrested for completing an origami course backwards..

We will update you as the situation unfolds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Micktheprivz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05
🚨︎ report
Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross. β€œSomething for this I have.” Yoda says.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.

He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.

β€œSomething I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.

Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.

β€œThat’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. β€œI’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”

So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.

He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.

β€œMaster Yoda!” he asks. β€œWhat did I do wrong?”

Yoda replies sagely, β€œA Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 04
🚨︎ report
Need some good puns when I whip this bad boy out on the course today. Help me out you geniuses!
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mac-n-treez
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03
🚨︎ report
In my graphic design course, we all had to make typefaces inspired by our favorite US cities, and present them in class.

We all knew that at some point, we’d have to discuss the LA font in the room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HuecoTanks
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14
🚨︎ report
What did the raindrop say to the cloud that went off course?

β€œWater you doing?”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/3eemo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18
🚨︎ report
I quit my job as the Pro at the local Miniature Golf course...

... I found the work oft-putting.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22
🚨︎ report
I can't believe I failed my HVAC course...

I studied asbestos I could...

Probably should have insulated my grade a little better...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsaSnap
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05
🚨︎ report
am I right ? of course Im on the left wing :D
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cihan_emre
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
Names redacted for anonymity, of course.
πŸ‘︎ 247
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordOysteryn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
🚨︎ report
of course not
πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumboooo_
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
Of course, you can't visit it just now.
πŸ‘︎ 134
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
The hurdler was having a hard time with the course.

His coach told him to just get over it.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
On the golf course I'm known as Frito Lay...

Because my chips are so good.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14
🚨︎ report
Of course He is risen

Helium ~is~ lighter than air

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
🚨︎ report
I just failed a fire safety course when they asked what steps I would take in case of an explosion...

Apparently, "extremely large ones" wasn’t an acceptable answer...

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
I enrolled in a course entitled β€œBasic Origami for halfwits”.

You’re probably thinking β€œWhy?”

Well, the answer is twofold.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
Of course he wood
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/themdonuts
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
Of course I'm not. I'm going to stay at home. That has nothing to do with the lockdown though!
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
of course no-one appreciated this on twitter
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ICTman1076
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
Captain! Are we going off course!?

Captain: Of course!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mister_Normal777
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
The teacher asked the student about the progress on the Microsoft Office course.

The student responded: 'thank you for asking, i'm doing excellent.'

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/burt_tts
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report
How did the citrus fruit do on the golf course?

He hit an orange slice!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
I just asked my dad to give me a crash course on the stock market

He said, β€œWell it’s crashing on course right now.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KugelBlitzSparks
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
🚨︎ report
I failed a health and safety course yesterday. One of the questions was β€˜in the event of a fire, what steps would you take?’

β€˜Large ones’ was apparently the wrong answer.

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pheebsbrown
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Yeah... Of course he can...
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roee241
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
It's incredible how a five day college course has opened so many doors

It was a locksmith course

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
🚨︎ report
I found a terrific online course for cooking Chinese food.

It’s called β€˜Wok This Way.’

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me, β€œDid you experiment a lot in college?”, and I said, β€œOf course.”

I was a Chemistry major.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
'course not, I guess
πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vairvt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I passed all my courses except for Greek mythology.

That has always been my Achilles’ elbow.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that Subway is opening a mini golf course at some of their restaurants?

I tried it out, but it wasn't very good.
It was sub-par.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeLouie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
My first job was telling golfers how much time a scratch player should take to complete a hole on the golf course...

It was a par time job.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
I threw a party when I got a job in genetics and of course, served a chewy fruit dish with a charcoal flavor...

The guests seemed to like my carbon dates.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
I tried to do some harder skiing courses once but you know what they say

It’s a slippery slope

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-funny-username-
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I was scheduled to teach a course in Origami, but then decided to give up.

Too much paperwork.

πŸ‘︎ 345
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I attended a self-defence course.

At the end of it, the person that ran the course said, "Ok, buddy, so for the week you owe me...Β£380."

"I refuse to pay," I told him.

"You have to," he insisted.

"Well then, you'll have to fight me for it."

So we fought, and he absolutely battered me. Left me bloody, bruised and beaten.

He said, "Β£380. Cough it up."

"No," I told him, wiping my lip. "Because it was clearly a waste of money."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the man leave his socks on the golf course?

He got a hole in one

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/heckyhoodles
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross... reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FarPrince
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
A rope walks into a bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, β€œNo, you’re only a rope.” So he decides to disguise himself. He ties himself into a knot & ruffles his edges a bit. The next day, he walks into the bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, β€œOf course... Wait, aren’t you that rope?”

And the rope replies, β€œI’m a frayed knot.”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/allyyx3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve always been super confused as to why my dad always brings an extra pair of socks to the golf course.

According to him, it’s in case he gets a hole in one.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whiplash1911
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A Dad walks into a bookstore and says, β€œ Can I have a book by Shakespeare?” β€œOf course, sir, which one?”

Dad: William.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Of course we all forget about Plasti City.
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EkskiuTwentyTwo
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you think Snoop will go to heaven when he dies? Of course, because all dawgs go to heaven.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hairlusbalz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Of course I believe in gun control!

I’m wearing sleeves, aren’t I?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wxmatt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Of course, V=D/T
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_agucci
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Two blokes are out on a golf course,

one pulls out a cigarette and asks his friend for a light. His friend pulls out a 12 inch bic lighter and hands it to him β€œwow where did you get such a large bic?” he asks, β€œoh this, my genie got it for me he’s in my golf bag” the friend says β€œyou have a genie?! May I see him?”, β€œyes sure” the friend replies and opens his golf bag. Sure enough out pops a genie, the man says β€œI am your masters best friend may I have one wish?” β€œSure” the genie replies β€œbut only one”... β€œI’d like a million bucks” says the man excitedly, β€œdone” says the genie and disappears back into the bag. Seconds later the sky begins to gets dark, despite it only being noon, the man looks up and sees nothing but ducks β€œwhat is going on, there must be a million ducks up there, I asked for a million bucks, what’s wrong with your genie?!” his friend turns to him with a wry smile and says β€œdo you REALLY think I asked for a 12 inch inch bic”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/74RileyW74
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dinosaur themed put-put golf course?

Jurassic Par

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNoodleEffect
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad got hit by a golf ball on the course today...

...right in the FOREhead

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RCRadioCarbon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked a girl way out of my league out and she accepted! Of course, she said she wanted to eat somewhere expensive...

So I took her to the airport.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are law students required to take creative writing courses?

So they can administer poetic justice.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/conundrumbombs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
When I think about all the boobs I’ve touched over the course of my life....

It’s like a trip down mammary lane

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vfr86
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend April is very playful, April laughs, April plays, and, of course,

April fools

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
If you want to meet girls, take a course in ancient Mesopotamian linguistics.

Ladies love a man in cuneiform.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/infinite-tonkotsu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I shot an Eagle at my local golf course today.

Apparently you go to jail for killing a protected species.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
How is the internet like a new golf course?

Unimpressive until you hit the links

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnEBGoode20
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Of course
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Movie-Man_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My golf course gave me an award and sign for my own place to park, but people keep taking my spot.

It just doesn’t pay to be the Par King.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justjong
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Of course this belongs here too
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blockinite
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I was at a restaurant with my friends but they left before the 3rd course.

I was deserted

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoOneLikesJack
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I took my first course in tailoring today

It was sew-sew

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oparon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Of course
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Batsk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
🚨︎ report
I dropped my son off at the golf course the other day.

He said β€œdrive safe!” And I said β€œdrive safe!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jollyben
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I took a Pyrotechnics course in University.

I got a third degree. It was a real blast too.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What vegetables were allowed on the golf course?

The collared greens

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pjohnson95
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I hate crappy golf courses with too many trees.

I go to great links to avoid them.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/entropolous
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
He was violently frustrated to find that his sailboat had drifted a great many miles off course overnight

He needed to work on his anchor management

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2018
🚨︎ report
I’ve just completed a self defense course…

I wouldn’t recommend anyone attack me in slow motion now…

πŸ‘︎ 255
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2017
🚨︎ report
Readers digest things differently of course
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I wanted to sign my kid up for a music course, but then I changed my mind.

It was way too much violins.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MAXIMUM_EDGE69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
🚨︎ report
The telemarketer had a lot of emotional issues, which of course came out while talking on the phone...

He had a lot of hang-ups.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My mate started a course on how to stay fit now he won't use elevators

he told me how he's going to start taking steps to avoid them.

πŸ‘︎ 122
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aswettybudda
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2018
🚨︎ report
My father used to like to get to the golf course an hour early to use the practice green...

He liked to putter around.

RIP. Miss the old man.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I was at the hardware store with my daughter. She of course knocked over a level.

I told her to level with me about what she did.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucidus_somniorum
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
To wife: Of course she knows it's a new year, she wasn't born yesterday!

Daughter was born at 8:08am yesterday. 7lbs, 1oz, 20" long. Dad, Mom and baby are doing great! Image

Edit - link formatting
Edit - My wife thinks the pic makes it look like she gave birth to Mother Teresa

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaoticFather
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I recently opened a combination sandwich shop/mini golf course.

I thought it was a great idea but the reviews said the experience was sub-par.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TVLord5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call an electric first course meal?

An aperTASER

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Zeeloo_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the polo player get kicked off the golf course?

Because he was horsing a-round.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MajesticSunset7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
You could say I had a crash course

In brake failure

Edit: I thought of this after I had a brake line blow out on my way to work this morning

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/POSDSM
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
🚨︎ report
OF COURSE the gold medal swimmer from Hungary was the only person NOT to bite the medal.

I was so ready, too.

Ruined my evening.

πŸ‘︎ 208
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KarockGrok
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2016
🚨︎ report
After mispreparing some guy's caffeinated drink, the barista asked me if I wanted it, on the house, while he remade the order. Of course I accepted.

I am not one to refuse charry tea.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
🚨︎ report
How does harry potter get down a hill? Walking of course...

jk Rolling

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/photogenicquark
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
The BBC say that new royal baby's name will be announced in due course.

That's a terrible name.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unholysifiman21
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I didn't complete the Scadanavian languages course; I did well enough at the beginning in Danish, Swedish, and Norweigian...

...but I just couldn't Finnish.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmcduff
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2017
🚨︎ report
The only course I flunked horribly in college was on Greek mythology.

It was my Achilles’ elbow.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Of course photons don't have mass...

...they are traveling light.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lmxbftw
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Why was the particle physicist still hungry after the Italian full-course meal?

Instead of antipasto, they served antipasta.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Taking a UAV drone flying course.

This stuff is way over my head.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tmacker14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2017
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I feel bad for people that mow the edges of golf courses.

They have a rough job.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FerfyMoe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2018
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in my economics course

http://imgur.com/u7ukdi6

πŸ‘︎ 182
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vivalabanaan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2016
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Did you hear about the Mexican that got shot at the golf course?

It was a hole in Juan.

πŸ‘︎ 149
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tuckereh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2016
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Of course this car isn't voice controlled

It goes without saying!

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Megablast13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2016
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I failed my fire safety course when I was asked what steps I would take in case there was an explosion.

β€œReally large ones” wasn’t an acceptable answer.

πŸ‘︎ 849
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
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