"Crash Course."
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whyyoutookmyname
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
25 emails between me (film producer) and Jason (my props master) over the course of making my film RUN (on Hulu now!)
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sevohanian
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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After copying the Greeks and Etruscans of course
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetropolisCourier
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Istanbul kept changing its name over the course of history

We could say it wasn't Constantly Nople.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RGCarter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate my math class probability course

What are the odds?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AceBalistic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross. β€œSomething for this I have.” Yoda says.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.

He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.

β€œSomething I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.

Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.

β€œThat’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. β€œI’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”

So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.

He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.

β€œMaster Yoda!” he asks. β€œWhat did I do wrong?”

Yoda replies sagely, β€œA Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientifically speaking, of course.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMcPenguin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Who is the best person at the golf course to get to make coffee?

The groundskeeper!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ravendemyseri
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A dad and son drove by a golf course next to a few houses the son asked β€œwhat happens if the ball lands in the house”

The dad said β€œit’s a home-in-one”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/isaiah2rod
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Of β€œCourse” he did
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Musical-Comic-69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Of course, french fries are far too posh for us, we only do chips!
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my bowmen that I would pay anytime they need to get some practice in at the course.

They’re free range archers now.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blg111222
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I didn't want to believe my husband was robbing golf courses

But I couldn't ignore the red flags any longer.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/katskratched
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: a man has just been arrested for completing an origami course backwards..

We will update you as the situation unfolds.

πŸ‘︎ 188
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Micktheprivz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Need some good puns when I whip this bad boy out on the course today. Help me out you geniuses!
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mac-n-treez
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Mario failed his online course

Because of his Internet Bowser

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
There’s a new drug going around that is nicknamed β€œangle”. My friends want to try it with me, but I took a D.A.R.E. course and don’t want to do drugs, so my friends make fun of me.

I guess I’m just too square to try angle.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PopTarnekPop
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Names redacted for anonymity, of course.
πŸ‘︎ 247
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordOysteryn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my job as the Pro at the local Miniature Golf course...

... I found the work oft-putting.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
In my graphic design course, we all had to make typefaces inspired by our favorite US cities, and present them in class.

We all knew that at some point, we’d have to discuss the LA font in the room.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HuecoTanks
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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of course not
πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumboooo_
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the raindrop say to the cloud that went off course?

β€œWater you doing?”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/3eemo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
am I right ? of course Im on the left wing :D
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cihan_emre
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Of course, you can't visit it just now.
πŸ‘︎ 136
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
The hurdler was having a hard time with the course.

His coach told him to just get over it.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't believe I failed my HVAC course...

I studied asbestos I could...

Probably should have insulated my grade a little better...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsaSnap
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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Of course He is risen

Helium ~is~ lighter than air

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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Of course he wood
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/themdonuts
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
On the golf course I'm known as Frito Lay...

Because my chips are so good.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Of course I'm not. I'm going to stay at home. That has nothing to do with the lockdown though!
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I just failed a fire safety course when they asked what steps I would take in case of an explosion...

Apparently, "extremely large ones" wasn’t an acceptable answer...

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
of course no-one appreciated this on twitter
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ICTman1076
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I enrolled in a course entitled β€œBasic Origami for halfwits”.

You’re probably thinking β€œWhy?”

Well, the answer is twofold.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
The teacher asked the student about the progress on the Microsoft Office course.

The student responded: 'thank you for asking, i'm doing excellent.'

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/burt_tts
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I passed all my courses except for Greek mythology.

That has always been my Achilles’ elbow.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Captain! Are we going off course!?

Captain: Of course!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mister_Normal777
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I failed a health and safety course yesterday. One of the questions was β€˜in the event of a fire, what steps would you take?’

β€˜Large ones’ was apparently the wrong answer.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pheebsbrown
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I attended a self-defence course.

At the end of it, the person that ran the course said, "Ok, buddy, so for the week you owe me...Β£380."

"I refuse to pay," I told him.

"You have to," he insisted.

"Well then, you'll have to fight me for it."

So we fought, and he absolutely battered me. Left me bloody, bruised and beaten.

He said, "Β£380. Cough it up."

"No," I told him, wiping my lip. "Because it was clearly a waste of money."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I just asked my dad to give me a crash course on the stock market

He said, β€œWell it’s crashing on course right now.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KugelBlitzSparks
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the citrus fruit do on the golf course?

He hit an orange slice!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Yeah... Of course he can...
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roee241
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I was scheduled to teach a course in Origami, but then decided to give up.

Too much paperwork.

πŸ‘︎ 348
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
'course not, I guess
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vairvt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I found a terrific online course for cooking Chinese food.

It’s called β€˜Wok This Way.’

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me, β€œDid you experiment a lot in college?”, and I said, β€œOf course.”

I was a Chemistry major.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I failed my fire safety course when I was asked what steps I would take in case there was an explosion.

β€œReally large ones” wasn’t an acceptable answer.

πŸ‘︎ 847
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
🚨︎ report

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